Wed Recap: The one where the bride doesn't know what the first dance will be

So as you may recall, our first dance was one of those things that fell by the wayside during our planning process.  Originally, we fully intended to pay for dance lessons and have a choreographed swing dance.  But the day of our first lesson (which was supposed to take place at Dancing with the Stars' Cheryl Burke's studio), we cancelled our appointment because we were afraid we would have to put our dog to sleep that day.  Thankfully, he made it many more months but the dancing lessons became more of a stress than something we were excited about.

There was just too much going on with all the other wedding plans, work issues, family related issues and the uncertainty of what was going on with our doggie.  It was a pretty emotional time.  So we finally just agreed that we didn't have the time, money or motivation to perfect a choreographed routine.

Since we didn't really have 'a song' that was just 'ours,' I had no idea what we were going to dance to.  But Mr Fix It had mentioned several times in the year that he had a special song that he wanted to dedicate to me at some point during our wedding day.  I asked him to coordinate with our DJ if they thought it would be sufficient for us to dance our first dance to.  They both said it was a little 'fast' but if we wanted to bop or bounce to it, it would be fine.  The only condition was that Mr Fix It did not want me hearing it until our wedding day.  I was actually okay with this.  Though I was nervous about it (and with good reason as you'll see in a moment), it was kind of cool to know that there was something I would actually have to look forward to as a surprise for *me* since I had planned so many things for my guests and even my groom.  And I loved the idea of waiting to hear the song that reminded Mr Fix It of me on our wedding day.

So without further ado, here is the video of our first dance...I warn you that the video is shaky and the videographer walked around a bit so it's not edited video, but it will give you a look at our special moment.

Raw footage courtesy of Video Keepsakes of Beverly Hills

It was in fact so special because even though it was awkward to dance to a 'fast' song and even though Mr Fix It is not the greatest dancer :) and we looked really out of sync and such together, it was still our moment.  As the song began, it was hard for me to hear the words, so Mr Fix It decided to sing them to me in my ear.  We just swayed close together and I listened to these words and then it was seriously over before I knew it.

I was completely oblivious to all the people standing around probably bored out of their mind and wondering why we didn't break into a choreographed dance - my family and friends know this is totally my style and I know they were expecting it - but everyone else wasn't in the room at that moment.  And honestly, as you see us talking in the video, I have no freaking idea what the heck we were saying to each other in those moments :)

And just for fun, here are the lyrics to the song which I had to later listen to again on my ipod during our honeymoon to truly appreciate them.  It was really special because Mr Fix It always jokes with me that I was the first person he ever loved or had sex with which is so obviously not true considering he's been married and divorced and has left a plethora of women in his wake.  So it was kind of romantic to think that he truly thinks of me as his 'first' and his 'last.'  :)

Barry White - My First, My Last, My Everything

The first, the last, my everything

And the answer to all my dreams

You're my sun, my moon, my guiding star

My kind of wonderful, that's what you are

I know there's only, only one like you

There's no way they could have made two

You're all I'm living for

Your love I'll keep for evermore

You're the first, you're the last, my everything

And with you I've found so many things

A love so new only you could bring

Can't you see it's you

You make me feel this way

You're like a fresh morning dew on a brand new day

I see so many ways that I

Can love you till the day I die

You're my reality, yet I'm lost in a-a-a a dream

You're the first, the last, my everything

Share time:  What was or will be your first dance and do you have any expectations for it?

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  Learn to be okay with changing your plans and even letting go of some dreams or hopes you had if you think things are becoming too stressful or you just don't have the time to fit it all in or get it all done.  The first dance was one thing I was really looking forward to and had planned out with the music, choreography, attire, etc for months in advance.  But the vision I had played over and over again in my head just began to be overwhelming.  I began to feel pressure instead of excitement about it and because of everything else going on in our lives at the time, it was just easier to opt out of the original plan.  Though I still wish we had the time and money to do what we had wanted to, it was such a relief to not have the stress of fitting in more appointments and practice time and performance anxiety in the midst of the wedding planning process.

All photos by Robert Mullins Photography

Giving up on my dreams

So I was never one of those brides that wants everything at my wedding to be typical and traditional.  I always wanted the 'entertainment factor' at our wedding to overload guests with things they wouldn't expect or don't usually see at weddings they've attended.

Our first dance was no exception.  And being a huge fan of Dancing with the Stars and having Cheryl Burke's dance studio within 5-10 minutes of my home, I knew that personal dancing lessons and a choreographed dance was definitely in the plans for Mr Fix It and I.  We didn't want to do the little "start off dancing slow and then act like the DJ screwed up and the song skips and switches to a fast one where all the guests are surprised as you bust a move to Salt n Pepa's Push It."  As fun as that is, again, it's been done....it's a show called Rock the Reception on TLC. 

Mr Fix It and I don't really have a special 'song,' so I browsed my ipod and came up with some fun ideas.  And both Mr Fix It and I knew that we wanted to do some type of swing dance.  So I also browsed YouTube and saved a few favorites of wedding couples who danced swing dances as their first dance...especially the ones who used the same song I wanted to.

I ran out and bought a fedora as a surprise for Mr Fix It.  My plan was to have Mr Fix It standing in the center of the dance floor...the DJ would begin playing the song 'Fever' by Michael Buble and Mr Fix It would slowly snap his fingers to the opening beat.  At that time, I would slink on out in my newly revealed reception dress and do the whole slow, sexy, seductive moves around Mr Fix It...you know, take the fedora off his head, put it on mine...eventually toss it off to someone in the crowd.  Then Mr Fix It would dip me all sexy at one point after about the first minute of the song and on that beat, the DJ would switch to Michael Buble's song "Crazy Little Thing Called Love."  So perfect for swing dancing!  Seriously!  Imagine some ideas like this:

Alas, it is not meant to be...with all that was going on this past month, Mr Fix It and I are just feeling emotionally and financially drained.  And as much as we were looking forward to the dance lessons and entertaining our guests with a super fun first dance, Mr Fix It made the suggestion that 'it is just going to be a lot of stress to have to get to lessons once a week and then try to find the time to practice and perfect it over the next two and a half months' with everything else we have going on.  And I have to agree...especially after looking at our calendar and all the appointments, parties, trips, house renovations, moving, etc that will be going on. 

So I have been trying to talk myself into not being upset about having to let go of this little wedding dream of mine that I was so very excited about :(  I really don't want to do the little 'sway' to a slow song type of first dance...however...I've read about lots of brides who said they loved that slow simple swaying first dance because the guests just seemed to fall out of sight and it was a wonderful quiet moment with their groom.  So maybe it won't be that bad afterall if I change my perspective?

And now that we're changing it back to a more traditional first dance, I asked Mr Fix It what song we should dance to.  He said he had a special surprise song that he had wanted to play for me at the wedding and didn't know how to fit it in.  He said it should be okay for our first dance because it is a song that speaks to exactly how he feels about me.  But he does not want me to know about it until the moment we take the dance floor. 

Even being the ridiculously organized anal planner I am, I am actually really excited about this.  Because one, it will give *ME* something to actually be surprised by and two, it will probably be really special and sweet and emotional for me to get to hear this song Mr Fix It is so adamant about me 'listening to every single word' of.  Plus, I have already instructed my DJ's at our meeting last Friday to call Mr Fix It and confirm what the song is and I told them to tell him if they think it's 'danceable' for a slow song or if they can do something to it to be sure it is a slow or steady enough beat for us to move to.

Well, let's hear it...are there any aspects of your dreams for wedding day that you've had to (or did) let go of or change for any reason?