Wed Recap: To toss or not to toss? A unique twist

I have honestly despised the moments when the DJ calls all the 'single ladies and gents' out onto the dance floor to have the bride and groom toss the bouquet and garter away to see who will 'get married' next.  Yeah, right?  Does it really ever happen that the people who catch these things get married next?  Doubtful.

However, I knew I wanted to somehow have a toss and of course, it had to be unexpected.  Originally, I had the fabulous idea that I would surprise the girls I tossed my bouquet* to by having the bouquet break up into 4 smaller bouquets so that more than one girl gets to catch it.  :)  But as I evaluated our guest list, I realized there weren't as many single ladies as I had expected there to be. 

Instead, I had read on some blogs about how some brides were choosing to 'hand' their bouquet off to someone specific rather than just toss it away.  I loved this idea and here is how I incorporated this into our own wedding for a very special lady in my life:

As for Mr Fix It and the garter toss, he wanted to do this for sure.  But mostly just because he is a perv who wanted to get up my dress.  He decided he wanted to be 'covert' about it and worked with the DJ to surprise me with the song selection that would play while he slithered across the dance floor to remove my garter.  Here are some great pics and video of his little display:

As you can see, Mr Fix It tricked the guys they called on to the dance floor by acting like he was going to toss the garter, but then he decided to intentionally place it into the hands of one of his groomsmen that he calls a 'playa who needs to settle down finally.'  :)  I love how the DJ made the comment "If that isn't someone saying 'tag you're it' I don't know what is!"

Share time:  Did you decide to do the tosses and if so, was there anything different or unique about how you incorporated them?

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  Rather than tossing away your own bridal bouquet, *be sure to ask your florist about creating a smaller 'toss bouquet' for you to throw to the ladies.  Usually this will be thrown in free as part of the contract (mine was).  You can also do this with the garter as well.  A lot of garter sets come with a fancier garter for the bride to wear and a simpler version to be tossed.  The bride can wear both of them on her leg with the toss one on the bottom so the groom removes that one and leaves the fancier one for the bride to keep.

Unless otherwise noted, all photos by Robert Mullins Photography
Raw video footage courtesy of Video Keepsakes of Beverly Hills

Wed recap: Embarassing the hell out of the bride and groom

That's really what toasts should be referred to...because most of them (at least the ones the guys give) are usually pretty embarassing.  In our case, our best man, Mr Fix It's brother started off his toast with a total perverted comment.  Watch my lovely reaction to this...and remember that I was very active in my church and that all of our guests know that I am a passionate Christian who tries to uphold and lead by example with some conservative and traditional values and morals.  :)

Best Man's Toast

In the end, it was very sweet what he said...short and sweet.  Probably a good thing.  But man, really?!?

Up next was my sister.  Of course the girls always talk a lot longer. And though it may seem like a long time, her speech flew by!  She was really nervous about it...she does not like speaking in front of crowds.  At one point, she even said she was just going to write a poem and recite it...which I would have loved because she writes amazing poems.  But I am so happy about the wonderful speech she shared...it was heartfelt, full of old memories and actually really funny, too!  She did great...and when you watch this, you'll get a great glimpse of insight into who both me and my sister are and our pasts as well :)

Matron of Honor's Toast

And finally, I just had to give a thank you speech. 

Bride's Thank You Toast

Mr Fix It is also not good in front of an audience.  It's funny because he is so loud and boisterous and extraverted in general but when it comes to gettin' up in front of a large room of people, he freezes.  Since I do not and I actually sometimes love speaking in front of crowds, I went ahead and handled our speech.  I wrote it out months before the wedding and read through it a couple times.  But never really memorized it.  On the day of, I just spoke from the heart and what I could remember of what I had written out and I loved it.  Though I have to admit, this would be the very last thing I'd have to do on the wedding day as far as speaking in front of everyone and I was a tad bit nervous and so glad to get this thing done. 

And those were the three lovely speeches that were shared at our wedding reception.  What do you think? 

Do you have any memorable stories from speeches you have seen, received or given at weddings?

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  I don't know if you did/plan on doing this at your wedding, but I highly encourage either the bride, groom or both to just share a few words. Doesn't need to be quite as long as mine, but just to say an overall thank you to those you love for celebrating with you.


All video clips courtesy of Video Keepsakes of Beverly Hills

Wed recap: Traditions and crazies

Today's video recap is one of my faves.  Mostly because it just shows me and the girls being ourselves and being silly while getting me ready and taking some photos.  I warn you that the video is shaky in some parts and may seem incoherent since it is a few pieced together clips.  :)  But I have to thank Gary Freedline of Video Keepsakes of Beverly Hills for the wonderful footage.  I love seeing the raw footage because it truly does take me right back to the moments of the day.

So, this post is all about the traditions...the something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.  I'll let you watch the video then I'll share some pics and a brief recap of the different items and their meaning to me:

Something Old

All of my jewelry became my something old for the day.  My earrings were a gift from my bridesmaid Lauren when I served as the Maid of Honor at her wedding 9 years earlier.  They were one of my favorite pairs of earrings and I loved being able to wear them on my special day as a reminder of the special place we've both held in each other's lives (I introduced her to her husband through mutual friends).

Photo courtesy Yan Freedline (Video Keepsakes of Beverly Hills)

My necklace and bracelet were custom designed by a jewelry maker, Jeanette Readinger here in Orange County.  I told her I wanted a brooch for a necklace and something smaller for a bracelet.  She sent me off to a local vintage swap meet where I found a brooch and a pair of clip on earrings.  I showed her some inspiration pictures of necklaces and bracelets I found on Etsy and she created a 'new' necklace and bracelet from the old vintage brooch and one of the clip on earrings.  I LOVED them and though I had doubts that the necklace would be too much with my extravagant gown, I absolutely loved how it all came together on the big day.  So many people complimented my necklace that I have decided to keep it to share with future ladies in our family so they can use it as their something old or borrowed.  Jeanette even said it was the prettiest bridal necklace she's ever made! :)

Something New

My Sabelle gown by Maggie Sottero and fabulous Jeanette red shoes by Me Too were my somethings new.  No need to say more...they were gorgeous and I loved them!

Photo courtesy Yan Freedline (Video Keepsakes of Beverly Hills)

Something Borrowed

I did not want to wear a veil on my big day.  Mostly because I didn't want to pay for one (they are ridiculously expensive) and because I knew that I did not want them in most of my pictures.  Unlike a lot of brides, I didn't plan on wearing a veil throughout the entire day and into the reception.  Not my thing.  But I did love the look of them in some photos and I also had my sister tell me that she regretted not wearing a veil at her wedding because it truly does make you feel like a bride.

So I came up with a wonderful idea...two of my girlfriends had gotten married in the 2 years before our engagement.  They were from the bible study that I lead and hold a special place in my heart.  I asked both of them if either would have any problem with me borrowing their veil for our ceremony and to serve as my 'something borrowed.'  One of them said she had unfortunately packed hers away and had it preserved, but the other one still had access to hers and was honored to share it with me.  And it was so perfect because it totally matched my gown with it's color and simple beading along the edges and it was the perfect length.  God has a funny way of working things out like that. 

Photo courtesy Yan Freedline (Video Keepsakes of Beverly Hills)

Since I only wore the veil for the ceremony, there was another super special item that I incorporated as an additional something borrowed.   This was passed on to me by my grandmother who just passed away this past Friday :(  It belonged to her sister, my great Aunt Geraldine.  It is a gold bracelet that was worn by my sister at her wedding and my cousin at her wedding.  When my Aunt asked me if I wanted to wear it as my something borrowed, I told her of course!  Then she mentioned that it was gold and didn't sound like it would go with my attire since everything was kind of silvery or white and sparkly.  But I remembered that the dress I switched into for the reception was ivory with gold embellishments!  Perfect match!  I wore the bracelet at the reception as seen here in our first dance and while giving my toast :)

And just for fun, here's a pic of it on my sister at her wedding almost 4 years ago courtesy of Eric Cotter of Jim Kennedy Photography:

Something Blue

This was the most special of all the things to me on our day.  Most girls go for the traditional garter as their something blue or perhaps a hanky with blue trim or a tag that can be sewn into your gown with your name(s) and/or wedding date in blue thread.  These are all great ideas and perfect ways to incorporate the 'blue' item.  But I didn't like the commonly done things.  So when Mr Fix It pulled out a bunch of his mother's old costume jewelry and asked me if I wanted to keep any of it, I was thrilled when I saw this pretty little blue brooch.  Mr Fix It's mother passed away when she was 49 and of course was not there on our day with us.  But I knew I wanted to find a way to honor her memory.  I had my florist, Allison of Flower Allie place the brooch on my bouquet and it was the perfect accent for the flowers and also went along with our decor and theme since our colors were a turquoise/aqua blue and cranberry red :)  I loved it!

Share time:  Did you follow this tradition?  And what were your 'somethings'?

Unlise otherwise indicated, all photos by Robert Mullins Photography

The 'something' post

Something old:

My jewelry (though newly made with pearls and crystals) has as it's centerpiece, an antique brooch which I had a custom designer convert into a necklace.  Since I picked up this little beauty at a vintage swap meet near my house for only $25.00, it's the perfect something old.  I also have my bracelet which is made from a clip on earring I bought at the same vintage swap meet.

Something new:

My Maggie Sottero SaBelle gown is obviously my something new.  Though I could also go with the new red Me Too shoes I bought with Mr Fix It on clearance at Nordstom's to fulfill this little part of the tradition.

Something borrowed:

This is Melody.  She is one of the girls that is in a bible study I have been leading for about 5 years now.  I have known her since high school and she is now married (1 1/2 years ago) and just got accepted to USC's med school program.  I am so proud of her.  But I am even more honored that she is letting me borrow that beautiful veil as my something borrowed on the wedding day.  It's simple and a good length for my gown.  I will only wear it for the ceremony and maybe a few photos. 

Something blue

I don't have a photo of this item, but I will have a blue brooch that was a piece of Mr Fix It's mothers costume jewelry attached to my bouquet.  She passed away long before Mr Fix It and I met when he was in his 30's.  I know he really misses her.  So when we were going through some old boxes at his place and he came across a bunch of her old jewelry and asked if I wanted any of it, I immediately saw the brooch and told him that I would be using this somehow on our wedding day :)

So let's hear it girls...are you willing to share your 'somethings' from your big day?

Look at me, look at me!

Ok, so there's been the big debate over whether or not the bride and groom should see each other before the big moment - the walk down the aisle :)  I think a wonderful post about whether or not to see each other before the ceremony can be found over on Budhoop's blog.  She offered some great truths about the reasons most people are for or against this idea.  And as she said, it's really a matter of personal opinion. 

For some, there is nothing like this moment:

Where the groom sees his bride for the first time that day...all dressed up in white with hair and makeup beyond beautiful.  Let's face it, a lot of guys cry.  It's pretty sweet.  And even if you don't want to see each other before the actual ceremony, there's still some fun ways to get some 'teaser' shots in before that big moment: 

Photo:  Rancho Las Lomas

Jenn over at a Bride's Brain posted about her First Look yesterday.  Check it out here.

As far as why we have opted for the 'first look'?  It's very simple:

1)  I don't want massive anxiety the first time I see Mr Fix It.  I will be all anxious and nervous and if he does cry or gets all emotional, no one will even notice because let's face it - everyone is looking at the bride at that moment!  Mr Fix It calms me down and seeing him several hours before our ceremony is going to put me at ease and keep me in a relaxed and fun mood.

2)  We can't stand having to wait for two (or more) hours for the bride and groom to show up at a reception before we can eat and get the party started.  A cocktail hour should be just that - an HOUR!  But when you have to take hundreds of photos after the ceremony, it's draining and keeps guests waiting.  I personally don't like it.

3)  We want to be a part of our cocktail hour.  We have hired a strolling magician to entertain guests during cocktails and we do NOT want to miss out on all the fun and tricks!  I mean since we are the ones paying him, shouldn't we also be able to enjoy his services?  Besides, the reception is already a difficult place to try to greet and chat with all your guests.  Having that extra hour in a relaxed setting during cocktails is a great way for us to get some extra time in with the guests.

Those are our main reasons for knocking out all of our photos before the ceremony.  Yes, it means that we'll have to start hair and makeup at 8 am for us ladies.  And yes, the guys will all need to show up about 4 hours before the wedding (but they'd have to be there an hour before anyway to greet guests and seat them anyway).  Besides, that 3 hours or so that we will be knocking out lots of photos gives us the chance to not feel rushed and enjoy ourselves. 

So how will we do our first look?  As Budhoop suggested, they are in fact staged to a degree.  Here you see the bride making her way to her groom who has his back to her so as not to ruin the 'moment' they turn to see each other:

Photo Robert Mullins Photography

In this one (and with our own plans) the groom will walk up behind the bride to greet her.  How amazing are all of these next sequence of shots that were taken by our own photographer Robert Mullins? 

The groom takes her hand as she turns to see him for the first time:

He takes in all her beauty:

Look!  He's even getting emotional!

And they get that one special intimate moment with just the two of them to embrace and just be in love:

I can't wait to share the idea we came up with for me and Mr Fix It's first look.  I won't go into all the details as you'll see it on video at some point in the next several months, but I will say that when I told my future sister-in-law about the idea, she started getting teary eyed :)  And yes, our first look will include our family to some degree....not just the two of us.

So, are you / did you opt for the first look?  What do / did you like or not like about it?

Truly recognizing ceremony traditions

I was reading A Chocolate Lover's Confessions a while ago about her research for her Greek-Orthodox wedding ceremony and it reminded me about something I had considered for my own ceremony.  I love when people try to truly incorporate the history, traditions and meaningful aspects of their family lineage or faith into their ceremonies.  I believe it shows respect and recognition of where you come from and the symbolism that goes along with the personal love two people share when uniting as one.  As a Christian, I have studied a lot about Biblical times and stories especially in the time of Jesus.  I remember studying once about the history of Jewish ceremonies during that time and being so enamored with the beauty of the relationships and preparations of the Bride and Groom.

You can read a lot of the specific details of the First Century Jewish Wedding Ceremonies by clicking here. 

What I love about this tradition is that the Groom went away to 'prepare a place' for he and his bride during their 'engagement' period.  There was no set wedding date but it typically took about a year for the groom to build a home for them.  When the home was ready, and he had his father's permission, he would set out to retrieve his bride.  The people of the city would know that it was time by the torches and cries of the people shouting "The bridegroom is coming!"  It typically happened at night.  And once the bride heard of this, she would immediately put on her wedding dress and prepare herself for his arrival.  When the groom arrived at her home, she would come out and they would walk through the streets of the city with all of the people surrounding them until they arrived at their new home.  They would then enter for the marriage ceremony and to consecrate the marriage.  They stayed in the house for 7 days while the people of the city celebrated the marriage during that entire week!  Can you imagine your wedding celebration lasting 7 days?!

At the end of that period, they would come out and join in the marriage feast with all of their guests.  What a joyous and seriously extravagant celebration this must have been!  I just love how the groom comes for his bride.  It's as if he is telling her, I want you and I will come for you no matter where you are and I am ready to love you forever and lead you as your husband.

I wanted to recognize this beautiful tradition by doing something a little out of the ordinary at my own ceremony.  Though I am not sure if I will actually incorporate it, my thought is to have my father walk me across the bridge that leads out to the outdoor teatro where the guests are all seated for the ceremony:

Then when we get to the end of the aisle, my groom would walk down the aisle and 'retrieve' me from my father and lead me up to the altar.  I just love the symbolism of what this represents in the faith of my past and the future that I believe is waiting for us for eternity.  It would definitely make our ceremony unique and such, but would it seem awkward or funny to people?  I would definitely incorporate it into the schedule of the ceremony on the program with a very brief explanation.

What do you think of this idea?  And do you have any thoughts of how to incorporate your own lineage, traditions or rituals from your faith into your weddings?

Photo credit: personal photo

To dance or not to dance? The Money Dance that is

So for the most part, Mr. Fix It has let me pretty much have my way when it comes to things we don't agree on regarding the wedding. He has been married before and I haven't and he knows how much thought and effort I am putting into everything so he usually gives in. :) But there is one area that I had logically got him to agree with me on and yet he keeps coming back to wanting his way: the money dance. You know...that thing where you and your groom stand all dolled up awkwardly in the center of the dance floor with no one else around while your guests stare at you and others line up in hopes of waiting to sway with you for 15 to 25 seconds just to stuff money in your pockets or purse after they've already brought you a gift? Well, at least that's the way I see it.

Source

Now don't get me wrong...this is just my personal opinion. Almost every single friend and family member's wedding I have attended has had a money dance...but it's just not *my* thing. In fact, my cousin received over $1,000 at hers while my sister barely made it to $200 at hers. And my sister's wedding was much bigger than my cousin's. But to me, it just comes across as awkward, begging, greedy and BOR-ING. I would much rather allow my guests to shake their groove thang on the dance floor than kill 10 to 20 precious minutes on the dance floor making everyone stand around. And God forbid, what if no one wants to get up and dance with us? Or what if it's all of my honey's friends that I have no idea who they are so I end up making uncomfortable small talk with them for 30 seconds? Oh, the horror!

Mr. Fix It thinks that in these economic times it would be helpful to have every opportunity we can to receive some extra funds for the honeymoon. He said with 200 guests, even if they gave $1, that would be $200 extra we have (of course, he's not thinking of our 5 year old cousins who have no apparent income at the moment). I told him *I'd* give him the $200 if it was so important to him. But honestly, we'd probably get more than that because we have very loving and generous friends and family. Besides, I told him it's the economic times we live in that make it all the more so why we shouldn't have it...because people can't afford it!

Anyway, recently he called telling me again why he really wants to do it. I told him that I would consider more creative ways of 'earning' money at our reception. For example, our DJ told us a story of how one bride and groom had their bridesmaids and groomsmen split into two teams and then sing for all the guests. Afterwards, they walked around with hats and such allowing the guests to give money to the team they thought was the better singers. All the money was given to the bride and groom and at least it was more entertaining and a performance that got the entire guest list involved in the idea. But John didn't like that idea either.

What do I do? I know that in some cultures this is a tradition and important part of a wedding...but not in my culture. So what about all you ladies? What are your thoughts and are you including this ritual in your own wedding reception?

Music Monday # 1 (The Garter Toss)

Ok, so I have seen several blogs where brides share songs they like for potential use in our weddings or whatever.  I thought that was kind of cool as I *love* all things music.  I even have a playlist in my ipod of all the songs I have selected to use in things like the ceremony, grand entrance, first dance, bouquet toss, wedding video, etc.  Yes, I unfortunately listen to it almost every day - and I still have 5 1/2 months to go! 

Since I love just about any type of genre (except for vulgar gangsta rap), you will find all kinds of things from pop, love songs, oldies, soft rock, classic rock, hard rock, techno, disco, hip hop, Christian and the list goes on.  But to start off with my very first music post, I thought I would share something from my sister's wedding playbook.  She is uber creative when it comes to song selections and we had so much fun with all the choices at her wedding three years ago. 

If you've got the funny bone for it, this is the song she played as the DJ called all the 'single' fellas out onto the floor for the garter removal and toss.  You can skip to 1:00 in as that is where the chorus begins and she had her DJ start the song at that point :)

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers (Even the Losers)

Now once the guys were on the floor and this song had been playing, it was time for the groom to dive under that dress and remove the garter...which he of course did with his teeth (and a little bit of a vulgar movement that I will not go into detail about - but you can see it in this post in the 3rd video down).  But when he finally emerged with the garter in his teeth, my sis instructed him to look hard at the garter.  She surprised him with a San Diego Chargers football garter in the team colors and with a football charm on it - it's his like lifetime favorite team!  To which, at that point, when this little tidbit was noticed, the DJ began to play this funny theme song (I threw in a little funny music video that some kids did to the song for your own viewing enjoyment):

San Diego Super Chargers Theme Song

So what do you think, fellow brides?  Is she funny or what?  What are your plans for your garter removal and toss song?  Anything?  Though I have selected so many songs for the other elements of our big day, the 3 songs I have not yet selected are the garter toss, bouquet toss and cake cutting (sigh).  I will definitely be enlisting the baby sis' help!