Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Giving up on my dreams

So I was never one of those brides that wants everything at my wedding to be typical and traditional.  I always wanted the 'entertainment factor' at our wedding to overload guests with things they wouldn't expect or don't usually see at weddings they've attended.

Our first dance was no exception.  And being a huge fan of Dancing with the Stars and having Cheryl Burke's dance studio within 5-10 minutes of my home, I knew that personal dancing lessons and a choreographed dance was definitely in the plans for Mr Fix It and I.  We didn't want to do the little "start off dancing slow and then act like the DJ screwed up and the song skips and switches to a fast one where all the guests are surprised as you bust a move to Salt n Pepa's Push It."  As fun as that is, again, it's been's a show called Rock the Reception on TLC. 

Mr Fix It and I don't really have a special 'song,' so I browsed my ipod and came up with some fun ideas.  And both Mr Fix It and I knew that we wanted to do some type of swing dance.  So I also browsed YouTube and saved a few favorites of wedding couples who danced swing dances as their first dance...especially the ones who used the same song I wanted to.

I ran out and bought a fedora as a surprise for Mr Fix It.  My plan was to have Mr Fix It standing in the center of the dance floor...the DJ would begin playing the song 'Fever' by Michael Buble and Mr Fix It would slowly snap his fingers to the opening beat.  At that time, I would slink on out in my newly revealed reception dress and do the whole slow, sexy, seductive moves around Mr Fix know, take the fedora off his head, put it on mine...eventually toss it off to someone in the crowd.  Then Mr Fix It would dip me all sexy at one point after about the first minute of the song and on that beat, the DJ would switch to Michael Buble's song "Crazy Little Thing Called Love."  So perfect for swing dancing!  Seriously!  Imagine some ideas like this:

Alas, it is not meant to be...with all that was going on this past month, Mr Fix It and I are just feeling emotionally and financially drained.  And as much as we were looking forward to the dance lessons and entertaining our guests with a super fun first dance, Mr Fix It made the suggestion that 'it is just going to be a lot of stress to have to get to lessons once a week and then try to find the time to practice and perfect it over the next two and a half months' with everything else we have going on.  And I have to agree...especially after looking at our calendar and all the appointments, parties, trips, house renovations, moving, etc that will be going on. 

So I have been trying to talk myself into not being upset about having to let go of this little wedding dream of mine that I was so very excited about :(  I really don't want to do the little 'sway' to a slow song type of first dance...however...I've read about lots of brides who said they loved that slow simple swaying first dance because the guests just seemed to fall out of sight and it was a wonderful quiet moment with their groom.  So maybe it won't be that bad afterall if I change my perspective?

And now that we're changing it back to a more traditional first dance, I asked Mr Fix It what song we should dance to.  He said he had a special surprise song that he had wanted to play for me at the wedding and didn't know how to fit it in.  He said it should be okay for our first dance because it is a song that speaks to exactly how he feels about me.  But he does not want me to know about it until the moment we take the dance floor. 

Even being the ridiculously organized anal planner I am, I am actually really excited about this.  Because one, it will give *ME* something to actually be surprised by and two, it will probably be really special and sweet and emotional for me to get to hear this song Mr Fix It is so adamant about me 'listening to every single word' of.  Plus, I have already instructed my DJ's at our meeting last Friday to call Mr Fix It and confirm what the song is and I told them to tell him if they think it's 'danceable' for a slow song or if they can do something to it to be sure it is a slow or steady enough beat for us to move to.

Well, let's hear it...are there any aspects of your dreams for wedding day that you've had to (or did) let go of or change for any reason?


Gaynor said...

I know its now what you originally wanted but mr fix it choosing the song sounds lovely.

As you say it will be so good to have 1 surprise waiting for you!

We arent doing a special dance either, couldnt get mr to agree to it! So we will prob end up swaying around but I dont plan to be doing it alone for too long, the rest of the bridal party and our parents will join us on the dance floor fairly quickly!

Which reminds me I need to email the band our song choice! So much to do!

very married said...

i think this is a great alternative! you won't be able to help but only pay attention to him and the song because he's expressing himself through it. SO romantic!

i feel like i gave up a million ideas to budget constraints. flowers, super 8 wedding videos, a tropical honeymoon. but honestly, i didn't miss it.

we danced to Kermit the Frog's Rainbow Connection. My friends told me it was an AMAZING song choice. I thought people would think it was fun but who knew they would be so emphatic??

Nicole-Lynn said...

Your fast swing dance idea sounded very cute! Don't be too let down though! Your slow dance will be just as special! :) I like that he is surprising you! :)

PartyPlannerGal said...

It's so sweet that Mr. Fix-it is going to surprise you with a first dance song. And I agree, the swaying together will be a special moment for the two of you.

I guess I had to give up my dreams of serving "fancy" food in exchange for the food our families are familiar with (Indian and Middle Eastern). At first I was bummed, but now I think it'll make our wedding unique!

Bicoastal Bride said...

I love the idea of him surprising you! I’m sorry your original plan won’t work out, but I think this is a fantastic, romantic alternative.

I initially had to give up on my vision on having my wedding at a winery, because it isn’t practical for our family and friends to travel to Northern California. Plus, the So Cal wineries are too expensive and just not the same. I also had to give up my dream of having an aisle runner with flower petals and having petals tossed at us after the ceremony. But I’ve found alternatives that we’re happy with, so it’s OK.

SG said...

I think it's very sweet that he wants to surprise you with a song and it will be nice to be able to just focus on him in that moment without having to worry about remembering dance steps. I'm sure there will be other moments during the reception for you two to break it down :)

Chocolate Lover said...

I love that there is something in your wedding that YOU will be surprised by! I'm sure its disappointing right now to have to give up something you really wanted, but I truly do think the "traditional" way can be very romantic and intimate.

Recession Bride said...

It's exciting that you are still getting a surprise!

Honestly, the choreographed dances are way better in the theory than in practice. The bride and groom never look cool and hip and casual -- rather, you can always see their mouths moving as they try to keep the beat, and they always look they are concentrating so hard -- not having fun!

We were going to take dance lessons, but now we're not, either, and I'm totally OK with it -- more room to experiment and have fun, rather than worry about "messing up!"

Salt said...

I'm sorry that you had this disappointment, but in the long run I think it was a good decision to skip it. You are getting so close and so many other things are going to come up in the next two months that you don't want to put extra stress on yourself. I think it's so romantic that Mr. Fix It wants to surprise you with the song! And you are going to WOW your whole reception with that fantastic dress!!!

Mrs T said...

I so feel you on the dancing thing. I wanted exactly what you want. We even tortured ourselves with a dance lesson less than 12 hours before the big day. So not worth the money or the stress. Yeah it was fun (sometimes) Yeah it looked cool in theory..... but no one really cared, and we stuffed up heaps of the steps, and it was not what I imagined at the start anyway!

Swaying to that surprise song will be super special! You've made the right decision.

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