Wed Video Recap: Moments before...

This is me singing:  "I'll take you there!"  You know that song?  Well, I'm singing it because...I have my raw video footage!!! Woo-hoo! So now I will be doing full fledged recaps with photos but also with some video as much as possible. I just love the ability to share the actual live experience...especially since there is a lot I want to share with you that my photographer missed! Or maybe didn't get great pics of. Whatever...I'll follow up on that soon.  But from this point on (and especially in these next few days and weeks), I'm going to take you with me right back to our wedding day...live and in person!  I promise to try to keep the videos to 3 minutes or less each post and will throw in pro pics as well so you get both media types to view.

So it was just moments before 5:00 pm when the ceremony was supposed to start.  I knew the guests had been arriving (heck, we even passed some of them an hour earlier while we were wandering the grounds taking photos!).  But for some reason, the guests apparently hadn't been sat yet because my mom and the best man came in asking me what was going on.  I told them to bring me my coordinator.

I didn't feel like we saw our coordinators much during the day.  Even when they were there helping at the ceremony, I don't remember them being around other than my main girl, Amanda.  She came in and I told her to have the aisle opened and the groomsmen start seating guests and she took off.  My mom and sister said every time they needed her they couldn't find her but I know her and her team were super busy setting up all the cocktail and reception area and handling other things.

Again, since we didn't really get to practice at our rehearsal, our ushers had no idea what was going on.  Plus, because of the zoo path, we had some guests coming in through the back of the ceremony area instead of across the bridge so they were not getting programs or being seated by ushers.

I had forgotten to tell the groomsmen and coordinators that some of my family/friends would have to sit on the grooms' side since I had twice as many guests as Mr Fix It.  But apparently my mom told a bunch of our family where to sit so that helped.  However, it's funny...we reserved the first 5 rows on each side for family and then half of them ended up standing in the back of the ceremony area with their kids walking around during the ceremony so the front rows were totally empty and the back rows were packed!!! :)

My mom insisted my coordinator was not around to tell everyone what to do and when to walk down the aisle and such but then my BM's told me that my coordinator was there telling them to 'walk fast' because the song was ending before they had enough time to get down the aisle.  So I don't know what the deal was but since I was tucked away, I didn't have a clue what was happening and it all worked out.

After the processional, the video started.  One of the videographers, Jamie, came in to talk to me while this was going on.  After Jamie walked out, it was just me in that room alone.  I was getting anxious, nervous, faint...whatever.  I was glad to be able to listen to the video and guests because it sort of took my mind off of what was about to happen.  Thankfully, I had my dad there. 

He would walk in and out trying to watch the video while talking to me at the same time.  He knelt down and asked me how I was doing and I told him I was worried about passing out.  He just looked at me and said "Just breathe.  Calm down.  It's going to be great."  I remember he took my hand and that was so comforting.  Funny because my dad lives in Houston and we really don't have much of a relationship anymore...but time and distance and the life that keeps people separated cannot break the love and bond of family. 

Just as it was time for me to stand up and walk down the aisle I stood in the door way.  For whatever reason, I looked behind me.  Remember how I told you back here about the spots on my dress?  Well, what I saw when I looked down just 60 seconds before I was supposed to walk down the aisle should have sent me reeling!  There were HUGE black streaks down my gown!  I have absolutely no idea where they came from...before the processional started, my sister and cousin A had taken me outside and inspected the gown and dabbed and removed all the dirt and spots they could find.  I had only been sitting in a chair during the processional and video and the chair wasn't dirty so who knows what happened? 

Amanda was standing just outside the door next to my dad and I calmly said "Amanda.  Amanda!  I need you to grab those paper towels and that bottle of water and start getting those stains off of my gown." 

As I walked out of the room, she carried my train blotting and wiping as we were walking.   No matter what, I was getting down that aisle whether my dress was ripped, stained or falling off of me!  I wish the videographer had filmed this...he shot me standing up and noticing it and calling her over, but then shut off the camera until right before I took my dad's arm. 

Disclaimer: This video was created using raw footage courtesy of Video Keepsakes of Beverly Hills.

It was created by me strictly for recap purposes and therefore will not necessarily be great quality.

There will be things you probably shouldn't hear and shaky footage in certain places.

Thank you for your understanding.

If you had trouble viewing the video, try clicking here for a direct link
Looking back, I can't believe how calm I stayed.  Apparently, the streaks/stains must have still been visible because in the raw video footage at the very end of the ceremony as me and Mr Fix It were walking across the bridge I heard him telling me that my sister didn't handle my gown right because the back of my dress was totally dirty.  It wasn't her fault, she didn't even know about it.  And you can't see it in any pictures or video...so it must have been an up close and personal thing.  Oh well...such is life at a wedding...and all that mattered was I was dying to see my groom on that altar!

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  Do the best you can to rehearse the elements of the ceremony...try to time songs out, practice handing off the bride/flowers/rings, confirm who will need to rise and when.  But realize, that no matter how much you rehearse, just as BiCoastal Bride and I learned, something may go wrong in those moments just before your walk that you will have no control over.  Just roll with it...chances are, no one else will ever know, notice or care!

Unless otherwise indicated, all photos by Robert Mullins Photography

I'm seriously DONE!!!

So, I think I am truly done with all of the wedding planning and task lists and to-do's.  No really...see that task list up above this post?  That's really all that I have left to do that is wedding related.  And we still have 11 days to go and that stuff should be able to be knocked out pretty easy (sending up prayers).

This past week/weekend I did the following:

*  Finished assembling programs with help of Bridesmaid Deb
*  Assembled all the escort card favor boxes filled with M&M's and JellyBeans with help of MOH Julie and BM Erin (printed all the guests' names and cut them out and put them in alphabetical order)
*  Fixed up my little silver bells that needed some TLC (they'll hold the trivia cards on each table)
*  Reorganized and confirmed that I had all my kids' favor boxes correctly identified (we added 3 kids to our guest list that I needed to account for)
*  Met with my florist and paid her in full, met with my caterer, selected our menu and paid him in full
*  Had my MOH (sister) design our menu cards to display on the appetizer and buffet tables
*  Put together our gift card box
*  FINISHED OUR WEDDING VIDEO that will be played at the ceremony as a lead in to my walk down the aisle (Post coming tomorrow with the final video for you to see!)
*  Printed out final seating charts for coordinators and caterers

I'm waiting for our placecards to arrive this week so that I can put them together by table assignments for our coordinator and then that's it! 

So I really think I should have everything done at least a good week before the big day!  Yea me!  I can just relax and get my massage and my nails done and all that jazz.

Of course, I do need to pick up all the tuxedos two days before the wedding to deliver to all of our guys coming in from out of town.  I am praying that goes smoothly as you will remember from my post a few days ago that stupid tuxedo shop has been the biggest thorn in my side during this whole process!

Well, ladies...I know a few of you just got married or are soon to be married.  And then there are those of you who have a ways to go still.

Did/Do you feel like you had everything done with a few days to spare or were you rushing up until the night before?  If you're not married yet, do you think you'll be able to give yourself time to have everything done a little early?  It is SO nice for me because now if I forget anything, I have a few days to go over it all in my head and handle any last minute issues.

PS  All is well here after the 7.2 earthquake in Mexico that we definitely felt here in So Cal.  Mr Fix It and I were in the grocery store when the earthquake started and every aisle had a few things that fell off the shelves.  It was not that scary but definitely strong and longer than most we have had lately.  What a weekend.

Why I'm Not a Wedding Planner

So the lovely Mrs T over at 99 + Forever has mentioned a couple times in her comments on my blog that I should be a wedding planner.  Isn't she just the loveliest friend?  I seriously think you should check out her blog if you are not already a follower...she has some great honest blogs about the not so perfect things that can happen during wedding planning and yet has such a tremendously positive outlook and perspective on love and marriage.

Anyway, as much as I appreciate the lovely comments, there is absolutely no way I would ever want to be a wedding planner/coordinator.  Funny thing is, I actually did consider it at one time...even had business cards made up for my company named 'Creativity in Consulting' and placed some small ads online.  But alas, I realized, the planning industry was not for me.

Don't get me wrong, I have all the skills and passions required to be a coordinator:

*  Love, love, love talking all things weddings
*  Love love itself :)
*  Have had a blast assisting friends and my baby sister planning their own wedding
*  Have mad (scary, anal, control freak type) skills when it comes to scheduling, organizing, planning, multi-tasking, etc.
*  Have total leadership (read: bossy) qualities to take control of situations and direct (read: order) people around in order to move things along

All great traits and definitely things I looked for when looking for my own day of coordinator.  However, as I started to set up my own coordinating business, the following things came to mind:

*  You will most likely be working many major holidays and most weekends of the year (if not every weekend during the summer)
*  You are in an extremely competitive and highly flooded industry in which coordinators (and other vendors like photogs, florists, DJs) all come a dime a dozen and can be found on any venue street corner
*  You end up having to take all the stress and pressure of ensuring a couple's big day is the absolute best it can be and if anything goes wrong, it's likely your fault, or at the very least will be attributed to you
*  You have to deal with a Bridezilla every once in a while and even worse, a Vendorzilla more often than not

And that's it...those were the 4 main things that made me realize it really wasn't what I wanted to do afterall...at least not as a single mom back about 9 or 10 years ago when I was considering it :)  So there you have it...

My hat goes off to any woman (or man) who truly finds his/her calling in the coordinating business.  I personally absolutely love my DOC, Amanda and am totally looking forward to working with her in just about 2 months!

So, any of you ladies ever considered taking your planning skills to the next level and doing this professionally?

Am I expecting too much of my bridesmaids?

I asked 5 girls to be my bridesmaids and my sister to be my Matron of Honor.  (I was the maid of honor for my sister and my best friend who is also one of my bridesmaids.)   I surprised each girl by providing them a gift that included a puzzle of a photo of both of us with the phrase 'Be my Bridesmaid?' across it, along with a little silk bouquet of flowers in my color scheme so they'd know what color dress they'd be wearing and a handmade card with a poem in it telling them why I am asking them to stand with me at the altar. 

I loved it, they loved it, two of them cried...it was personal and different.  I blogged about it here.

Since I asked them, I have had all 6 of them come with me one day back in March to go dress shopping for both me and them.  We did it on a day that my best friend would be in town so she could participate - she lives in Idaho, I'm in So Cal.  We went to dinner after...it was fun.

I eventually picked dresses out for them to wear with their input and allowed them to select red dresses even though I desparately wanted them in turquoise/blue and I let them know that was my wish but I wanted them to be comfortable.  They opted for red.

I let 2 of them pick different dresses than the one the other 4 will be wearing...my cousin who is a very large chested woman and my daughter who wanted a different color and needed a different style since she doesn't fully have a woman's body yet.  I had no problem with letting them pick different dresses...they're by the same designer, color and fabric.

I tried to keep the dress and shoe cost to a minimum...The dresses were $152 including tax and the shoes were another $15 total.  So far, they all will only need to have the straps adjusted on their dress.  Two of them may need their dresses let out a little bit and one will need her dress hemmed a bit.  So alterations will not be super expensive at all...for my sister, it's only $15 to have her straps adjusted.

I booked a stylist to do my hair and makeup and negotiated a great price for her to do the Bridesmaid's hair and makeup for only $70 each total.  I let them know that it was their decision as to whether or not they wanted to use my stylist and pay or do their own hair and makeup.  Two of them opted to do their own, four opted for using my stylist. 

One bridesmaid offered to let us use her house for both my bridal shower and bachelorette party since she lives around the corner from me and has the biggest house.  My sister is throwing the shower and has asked for the other girls' input but has done most stuff on her own.  My mother and her are paying for the bulk of my shower I believe and trying to keep it pretty inexpensive.

Other than that, there's not much more they have to do for me other than show up to my shower, bachelorette party and the rehearsal and wedding.  My one friend from Idaho obviously has to pay for airfare out here but she was more than willing to do so to be in my wedding and is coming alone without her husband or three kids to save money.  It's not that expensive to fly here.

So do you think I'm asking too much of them?  I hear horror stories of brides who want to 'fire' their friends or family for not helping out with much or for causing problems with their wedding plans and adding extra stress.  I am so lucky to not have that problem.  I LOVE my girls and though I don't get to see them much, they're excited about the big day and I know they'll make me feel special and loved and keep me laughing and try to ease my stress or anxiety.

Though due to my Type-A perfectionist personality, I am not asking them to help assemble invitations or anything like that.  But closer to wedding day I will ask them if any can come over to help me stuff favor boxes and tie ribbons on them and such. 

Even the guys (groomsmen) and our immediate family were in my initial wedding related thoughts as I had visions of them having to carry votive candles, wedding gifts, dresses, etc all over our venue and loading up cars and such.  I imagined them trying to run around during the reception telling the Photographer that the DJ was about to announce the cake cutting and I instantly knew it was time to hire a Day of Wedding Coordinator!  There is no way I wanted any family or friends doing errands or running tasks during the wedding. 

So I think my girls have it pretty easy.  But I know some brides can be demanding.  I found it funny, however, when Rachel (Pink Love Bird) over at Get Married's Blogger Brides site posted about how she asked her girls to be her bridesmaids.  She made them all binders and included a contract inside for them to read and sign.  I wish she had gotten engaged before me because I totally would have included this in my little gift package for my girls had I seen it.

I, ____(Bridesmaid)_____, do solemnly swear:

______ My hair will remain at whatever length I want, but if it’s past my shoulders, it will be put in a beautiful up-do.
______ If I change my hair color, I will consider consulting Bride because she loves sassy hair.
______ My nails will be painted a delicate, light color of my choosing and will be at my preferred length (…with the exception of them being so long they curl over at the tips).
______ Bride will love me and appreciate me being in her bridal party regardless of my weight, but I will do my best to be in great shape and health. I want to look my best!
______ Assuming there is a shower or a bachelorette party, I will be as involved as I can be and party it up with Bride for as long as I can stand.
______ I will hold Bride to her promise that the bridesmaid dresses will be fabulous and won’t cost an arm and a leg. I will provide opinions on the style because I know Bride likes input and gets overwhelmed by options.
______ If I get pregnant, YAY! Bride loves babies and pregnant people. If I am not pregnant, the reception will provide a fully stocked bar in which to imbibe in front of said pregnant people.
______I will dance the night away at the reception and all other spontaneous dance parties. If Bride is not around for the sporadic dance parties, I will take a picture or a video to show her.
______ I will tell Bride when she is being crazy/unrealistic and why, specifically. I will not let Bride go off the deep-end.
______ I will freely give hugs and lend my support to Bride to help relieve stress since she is such a perfectionist. Bride loves friends’ hugs.
I do hereby swear that I will adhere to the entire above & other stated bridesmaid “duties” for the wedding on (date).
X________________________________ ___________________ (Signature) (Date)


What do you think ladies?   Are you asking too much of your Bridesmaids or wedding party?  Have you had some unfortunate issues or fights or frustrations with anyone regarding your wedding?  Do share!  Let it all out...

She's on Green Wedding Shoes site!

So I haven't yet gotten around to posting about my oh-so-fabulous wedding coordinator for the big day yet...that will come in more detail in a future post.  But being that we're facebook friends, I noticed she posted about a friend's wedding she coordinated that was featured on the site Green Wedding Shoes today.  It's a great site full of fun inspiration...check it out if you get a chance.  They even list my wedding venue on their site under Orange County venues.  Anyway, Amanda even did the simple little flowers for their wedding party.  I'm so excited to have Amanda of In The Now weddings on my side running the show on the big day!  Yea!