Wed Recap: The planner and the wing-it guy

I'm still following up with ceremony recaps - but there's only a few more to go.  However, today is again, one that is sort of a favorite...because it is the only time during our ceremony that I actually got choked up (though briefly). 

In my post last week about our pastor talking about both me and Mr Fix It and why he 'likes us,' he mentioned that I am a planner and that Mr Fix It is a surfer.  Well, in today's post, I am sharing with you our personally written messages to each other. 

And as you'll see in the video, Mr Fix It just 'wings it' and didn't have anything specific prepared or written down.  This is exactly why I didn't involve him in the writing of the traditional vows I shared last week, because he really just waits until he is in the moment to make decisions and share thoughts.  :)

The funny thing is, me being the planner, I knew one day Mr Fix It and I would get married.  And so early on in our six year relationship, I started keeping a journal that every once in a very great while, I would write a note or reminder about something he did or said or something I thought about him.  Basically, as soon as we got engaged, I went back through those old journal entries to gain inspiration and then wrote out this letter to Mr Fix It.  It was written probably a good 9 to 12 months before our wedding and I didn't look at it again until it was time to print it out when we were going over the ceremony with our pastor.  So yes, it was well planned in advance - at least mine was.

So here it is, the video of our messages to each other.

I just absolutely love how our pastor knew how to put us at ease and lighten a mood with a simple statement like when he tells Mr Fix It 'he's not going to top' my message. :)

Share Time:  Did/Will you include a personally written note or message to each other in addition to the vows you recite?  Or will you maybe write your vows as the written notes to one another?  How much time did you put into writing them out?  Did you wait until the last minute or have them prepared very early on?

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  If you are reciting traditional vows, consider whether or not you'd like to incorporate a personal message to one another before you actually recite your vows. 

Raw video footage courtesy of Video Keepsakes of Beverly Hills
Unless otherwise indicated, photos by Robert Mullins

The biggest let down from our wedding: Need your advice

It has taken me a while to write this post.  And I honestly don't even know where to start.  Just thinking about sharing my frustrations and disappointment right now is making me nauseous and sad.  But I figure the best thing to do is to try to get it out honestly and then take it to you wonderful ladies and fellow brides-to-be or recently marrieds to tell me if I am off my rocker or not. 

So, I have had my professional photos back from my photographer for over a week now.  I shared a little sneak peek of the ones my photog posted on his blog here about 12 days ago.  The unfortunate thing is, I feel like the sneak peek he shared was the best of what we were going to get.  I received over 1000 photos from my photographer (something he repeatedly told me on the wedding day is 'way more than he usually takes at a wedding').  This surprises me because my sister got like 1300 pics from her wedding day and her photographer was there for three or four hours LESS than I booked mine!

Before, I start my reasons for my dismay, I'll share these photos from our photog with you.  I want to save a lot of them for my recaps (even though I feel like I don't have nearly what I was expecting to be able to share with you), but I'll give you a few to view for now:

Remember, that these are the *best* shots I have of our 'formal portrait' session.  This is the best shot I have of me with the ring bearers and flower girl. 

These aren't that bad, right?  Well, check this out...here is one of my favorite pictures of the day:

Notice anything wrong with this photo?  How about the fact that Mr Fix It's tie is hanging over his arm?  Um, shouldn't a photographer be looking for things like that in a photo?  Yeah, maybe it slips past them once in a while, right?  So I'll let it go for now.  But what about this?

I made these little DIY signs to take our photo to use on our thank you cards...look at the few that he got of us holding them:

Here's the best shot he got of us holding these:

I love this photo, but notice that in BOTH of these, my sign is covering Mr Fix It's sign.  The bottom shot, which is the best one, is pretty far away, too for me to be able to use it on a Thank You card...you can barely see the words unless I crop it in real tight.  :(

I have been in a few weddings over the past years, and in today's digital age, you see photographers constantly looking back over their image they just shot in their LCD screen to see if they got the shot.  Shouldn't he have noticed that the fact that we are taking a pic holding signs means he should make sure the signs are visible in his shots?!?

Two weeks before our wedding, I sent my photographer the following slideshow I created.  Almost all of these photos are from other weddings at our venue (Rancho Las Lomas).  We paid BIG BIG bucks for this venue specifically because of it's beauty, unique grounds (a zoo!) and the huge amount of photo opportunities and locations it offered. 

I did get some shots from some of these locations for sure.  But there are a TON of shots that I didn't get.  That is what I am most disappointed about.  For example, he didn't get a shot of me and Mr Fix It standing next to each other displaying our shoes!  The bright red ones I was so excited about.  He did get some shoe shots that were cool, like these:

He also got 30 shots of my dress along with another 8 shots of my shoes.  Yep, 40 shots of just my dress and shoes hanging.  That sounds cool.  Except for one little thing...I only received 17 photos of our entire family! 

I have a sister (who's married with 2 kids), my mom, my dad, his wife and of course my daughter, Little Miss as my immediate family.  Mr Fix It has 4 siblings (all married) and with 7 children between them plus his parents.  Out of an immediate family of 25 people, I have a TOTAL of only 17 pictures of us with the family.  What irritates me more than anything is that I do not have one single shot of me, my daughter and Mr Fix It together on our wedding day.  The only photo I have with the three of us in it, is this one with my mom, dad and sister in it:

How can a photographer who photographs weddings for a living and has been doing it for YEARS, NOT realize that he didn't get a shot of the bride and groom with their (my) children!?!  On top of that, I have no individual shots of me and my mom or me and my dad with me!  The ONLY photo I have from my entire wedding day with me and my mom is the picture above of us with the family.  How is that possible?

At my sister's wedding, we had like 10+ shots of the bride with each individual bridesmaid, our mom, our dad, even my Aunt who was just hanging out while we were shooting got into a few pics with just her and the bride!  We had enough pics of the ring bearer and flower girl to create a mini photo album of the two kids (our cousins) for their parents!  I have not even a handful of pics of me with the flower girl, ring bearers and bride and groom. 

See that cute little shot of the couple sitting on the bench swing in the slideshow?  Well, we sat on that bench with my bouquet sitting next to me and Mr Fix It standing behind me.  You can see it at the very end of the video trailer I shared last week.  Well, you know what the only TWO shots I received from our photographer were of this location?  Mr Fix It sucking on my neck!  And you can't even see my bouquet or the fact that I am sitting on the bench swing!

And here is the best shot we got of us on the balcony.  The rest of the 10 or so pics he gave us are of us totally laughing and goofing off...though funny, nothing that could be blown up to be a gorgeous keepsake or portrait.  And though I know you can zoom in on photos to get a 'closer' shot, look at how far away we are in this!

Here's another example of my disappointment.  He only took a handful of photos of me with each of my individual bridesmaids and of Mr Fix It with his individual groomsmen.  Here's some shots of Mr Fix It with the groomsmen:

Is there ever a time when a guy looks good sitting in a tuxedo or suit?  Look at how wrinkled they look!  And how do you get any type of personality or fun/cool poses while sitting on a ledge?  Look at how Mr Fix It's shoulder is up in his ear in this one with his brother!

I don't even want to know what's going on in Groomsmen J's pants in this shot below!

The only photo he got of my groom standing with a groomsmen during this little shoot with each of the guys was this one with his brother in which Mr Fix It is not even smiling:

He did the same thing with us ladies...he had me sitting on a ledge in my beautiful gown to take photos with each of my maids.  I don't know why it didn't don on me to say something at the time!

This shot I do love but it was actually taken by his assistant, NOT our photographer!  And it is the only one we have inside the quaint little cafe with all the little tables and windows.  One shot!  That's it!

If you know me at all, you know I have been all about the details of this wedding.  I was aching for photos of the flowers, the guest book, the escort cards, the table numbers, the centerpieces and tables all set up.  My photographer once mentioned that he is 'a details guy' and I told him that was good because I wanted pictures of everything I had worked on for 16 months.  Especially because I did not get to see most of it all set up on the wedding day.  What upsets me the most are all of the pictures he did *NOT* get...some I mentioned above, but here is a list of many more pictures I did not get from our wedding day:

*  A photo of my bouquet all by itself (showing off the brooch that belonged to Mr Fix It's mother).  This is the *only* photo I got which showcases my bouquet by itself (notice my flower girl running through the background)

*  A shot of the memorial table.  I did not see the memorial table the entire day!  It had 2 vases on it (one with a floating candle, one with white tulips) that were engraved with the names of Mr Fix It's mother and my grandparents and Aunt.  It also had votive candles on it and a digital frame scrolling with photos of our loved ones.  Finally, it had a poem on the table commemorating our love for those relatives.  Here are the only two photos I got of the table/items:

(This tulip bouquet is on a reception table as the memorial table wasn't set up yet)

Now why in the heck would you take a photo of a frame on a table that did not even have the linen on it yet?  Why would you not come back to this table once it was set up? 

*  He also did not get any pictures of the reception tables all set up.  Rather, he took photos of items on the tables as they were being set out.  So there is not one shot of an entire table set up with the linens, favors, centerpieces, glassware, table numbers, etc.  The shot I got of my escort card table, which I envisioned like this:

This is what I got (after half the guests had hit the table and the sun had pretty much set):

*  Apart from all of the bridal party and family photos I feel were totally lacking (or missing!), I don't feel he was able to 'direct' us much through the photos we took of me and my groom and the family and bridal party.  Most of our photos he would direct us by telling us to 'look stoic' or to 'play with his ear.'  How is that good direction to get emotions of love, joy, laughter, romance, etc out of someone?  When I would ask him in our meetings how he got a certain shot, he would tell me "I don't give away my secrets."  What secrets?!?

I had many meetings with him and showed him many photos of the style and shots and locations I wanted.  He said I had an eye for 'good photography' and he was excited to work with me.  His website and his albums in his office resembled what I wanted.  So I don't know what went wrong on the wedding day.  My cousin (Bridesmaid A) told me that she repeatedly would tell him that he needed to get a shot of the escort card table or the bouquets or the bridal party and he would put her off.  She said he and his assistant were referring to her as the 'trouble maker' because she was interrupting them. 

Mr Fix It repeatedly told him that we needed to get out of the ceremony area and go take photos in some of the other locations on the property.  I have no pictures of us on the beautiful bridges, or near the coy pond, or the animals, or on the walkways or in the orange orchard or near the fountains...none of those locations!  We wanted a shot with this antique car:

But we didn't get it...even though we were standing 5 yards from it at one point!

My photographer asked me during the family photos "Are you absolutely sure I got all of the photos you want before I dismiss your family?"  I told him "I guess so."  Looking back, why the hell was he asking *ME* (the bride) if I got all the photos I wanted?!?  It's my wedding day!  I am paying YOU to get all the photos I told you I wanted so that I don't have to think about it on this day! 

I had given him the slide show and showed him photos from my sister's wedding.  I had filled out a short form that had a few 'must have' shots...like one of Mr Fix It with ALL of the men on his side of the family.  Yeah, he didn't take that shot.  :( 

I am now kicking myself that I didn't make a specific list of locations, poses, and people that I absolutely must have from our photographer.  I didn't want to 'restrict' him or bind him to looking down at a list, but I realize now what a mistake this was to not have this part planned out more specifically.  I thought we were on the same page, I thought some shots (like one of the bride and her mother) were obvious shots that any wedding photographer would know to get.  Apparently not.

So now here is my dilemma...what do I do about it?  I have discussed it with family and Mr Fix It.  I have talked to the other photographer, Jordana Hazel of Hazelnut Photography who was the runner up to my photographer selection.   There is nothing I can do about all the shots we didn't get with our family.  But the shots of me and Mr Fix It, the ones around the venue, I *CAN* do something about those. 

I have made arrangements with our venue, my hair stylist and my dry cleaners to go back to the property in our wedding attire for free (or with discounts - to have my dress cleaned again), and take a 'day after' shoot around the grounds.   Mr Fix It has reluctantly agreed because he knows how sad I am about all this.  But he said the only way that he will agree to it, is if we can get our photographer to give us a refund to cover having Jordana shoot the second photo session.  Mr Fix It says I should be thankful we have an amazing video showing most of what our photographer missed.  (I am waiting for it to arrive any day now.)  My mom and others have said I should ask our photographer to go back and take more photos free of charge.  But Mr Fix It and I don't feel like we would be very comfortable with him because of our frustrations right now.

Do I go ahead and try to contact my photog to let him know how disappointed I am and point out all of these issues?  Do I go ahead and plan to do another shoot in my gown and a suit for Mr Fix It and go more artsy and get those cool shots?  Or do I mourn the loss of what I don't have, be happy with what I do have and let it go as a lesson learned?

Has the wedding industry and blogland jaded me into being overly critical of my photographer and therefore holding him to unrealistic demands and work?  Or am I justified in my frustration and disappointment? I know that lighting can often affect where you shoot and if time runs out, you can't hit all the locations you want.  I know that people don't pay attention and are uncooperative and not models and so with those uncontrollable variables you can't always have a guarantee on gorgeous, artsy photos.  But shouldn't my photographer have said "Hey, we are running out of time or I don't have the light, so I need to know what your top priorities are for shots and locations?"  He didn't do any of that. 

What are your thoughts girls?  Help me out!  Give me back my sanity because I have been fighting back the tears and mulling over this trying to see it rationally for over a week now!

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  If there are specific locations, poses or people that you absolutely want to capture in photos on your wedding day, be sure to make a list of these (with samples if possible) and give them to your photographer clearly communicating the importance of these shots.  Don't worry if they are offended or feel like you are telling them how to do your job...this is what you are paying them for!

Remember how I mentioned coping with OCD in our wedding video?

Well, there was a perfect example of why me and Mr Fix It have to learn to 'cope' with it on the day before the rehearsal!

We both have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).  We both are pretty anal about things and both like to be in control and have things the way we want.  Now we've learned how to relate to one another with these things so we have a great relationship, but for the rest of the world...oh watch out!

The day before the rehearsal (while I was at work), Mr Fix It was supposed to take his dad down to the Men's Wearhouse and pick up their tuxedos along with some other tuxes for his family who was arriving late Wednesday night.  I told them I wanted them to be tried on either in the store if possible, or first thing Thursday morning so that if there were any problems with things missing or not fitting, then they could be handled before the rehearsal at 3 pm on Thursday.

Well, at 11 am on Wednesday I get a call from him asking if he can just go pick all the tuxedos up on Thursday afternoon on his way to the rehearsal?

Now you know me by now, ladies.  I make plans, I e-mail the people involved, I communicate information, and I stay on top of the tasks so that if anything goes wrong, I have time to resolve the issue.  So I proceeded to explain to Mr Fix It how a last minute tux pick up just an hour before our rehearsal was going to be a bad idea!  What if something does fit?  What if something is missing?  Then you are late to the rehearsal and leave the shop no real time to order in a new item or sew or tailor something.

He was not happy with me and after a little bit of a spat, he finally said that since I was such a 'worry wart' he'd just go and handle it right then.

Well, a few hours later, I get a call from my sister who is in the shop at the same time as Mr Fix It picking up my little nephew's ring bearer tux.  My nephew's pants are way too big so they have to get a new pair in for him.  Then I ask her how Mr Fix It's tux is going?  To which she tells me that he says "Because of my OCD, I am having the sleeves shortened so you can see more of the white of the shirt underneath." 

I told her to make sure he knew that was exactly why I wanted it handled that day.  And of course she relays the message and I hear him say in the background "I know, that's why I went ahead and came down."

See, us OCD people know that it is always smart to give yourself extra time to deal with the imperfections you will mostly certainly come across.  So glad that they were able to get those things handled.  I would have been livid if he would have been late to the rehearsal while he was having the sleeves tailored!!!

Why do I feel numb?

Ok, so there's just 5 days to go now until I will offiicially be Mrs. Beever!  It's pretty incredible.

This week, I will:

Get my final body waxing on Monday
Get a facial and massage on Tuesday (after I pick up my wedding gown from my seamstress!)
Get the guys' tuxedos and deliver them as needed on Wednesday
Get my nails done on Thursday morning and then head to the rehearsal at 3 pm.
Get married on FRIDAY!

People have been asking me the past week or two if I am excited or nervous or anxious or both.  Honestly, I look at them and say "I feel numb."

I really am not excited...not because I'm sad or disappointed or anything, but just because I've been too freaking busy with finishing up the wedding stuff and working full time to have time to feel anything.  I guess that is good because it means I don't have time to feel nervous or anxious either.

Work has been SUPER DUPER busy!  I mean, like crazy busy.  Like I've worked for this man for 8 years and I've never in that entire time been as busy as I am right now.  It's again, probably a good thing.  Thank the Lord I had finished so many things so many months before the wedding because if I had not been prepared and thought that work would be smooth sailing as it has always been, I would have been a stressed out wreck!

So here I am, the Sunday before my wedding week.  Family will be arriving on Wednesday, I should be able to enjoy myself and not have to think one thing about wedding related to-do's. 

Now all I have to do is pray that I get all my work done before my last work day on Wednesday!  Pray for me!

P.S.  Today is my little niece's first birthday party in San Clemente at a local park.  She turns 1 year old just two days before our wedding!  So exciting!

The weather forecast for wedding day...

So yesterday, I checked http://www.weather.com/ to see what the weather forecast was for the rehearsal day...they'll only give you a 10 day forecast and that's where we were.

But today - we're at 9 days!  And last summer I signed up for http://www.weather.com's/ Wedding Weather info.  Basically, you type in the city and date you're getting married and they give you all kind of averages, rainfall info, cloud cover, etc for the past several years. 

April is typically not a rainy month at all here in the OC in So Cal.  I tracked the weather every day last April and it only rained 3 times and it was only for a few minutes/hours in the middle of the night while people were sleeping.  So I had high hopes for us getting good weather on wedding day.

Now I'd be thrilled with comfortably sunny but I've heard people say it's better for it to be parly cloudy because you don't have a huge glare or sun or shadows in people's eyes for photos.  Whatever.  I just don't want it to rain!

Dumb Mr Fix It kept telling me that since it's an El Nino year, we'd have a higher chance of rain and I keep telling him I'm going to smack him!  I have spent 16 months and thousands of dollars to entertain and celebrate our marriage with 195 guests and I am just praying the Lord blesses us with a beautiful day.

Needless to say, I was a little sad when I checked the weather forecast yesterday and it said that it was going to be 67 degrees with 30% chance of showers on the rehearsal day!  NOOOOO!!!!

Well, my mom kept telling me how the weather forecasts change right up until the day so not to stress about that stuff.

So imagine how excited I was when I checked my e-mail this morning and received this little bit of info from My Wedding Weather on http://www.weather.com/:

Particularly note the wonderful little note under the temperature that reads:

Comfort level:  Delightful

YEA!!!

Now I just have to hope that it only gets better and not worse.  And as far as the rehearsal day, check out this update from this morning:

Sunny with no 30% chance of showers from yesterday's forecast! 

Finally, here's the forecast so far for the week up to the wedding:

This is amazing!  But note that in the time I took the pic for just the day of to the time I took the pic for the whole week, the temperature jumped 3 degrees!  Guess mom wasn't lying when she said they change it all the time. 

The only bummer now is that my little niece is having her one year birthday party at a park on Sunday :(  So now we're praying that forecast goes away for the showers predicted for that day!

Were/Are you nervous about your wedding day weather?  I keep telling Mr Fix It, I don't care if it's raining, we're getting married outside regardless.  He says no way but I *will* win this one...let's just pray that it is sunny and there's no need for an argument :)

I'm seriously DONE!!!

So, I think I am truly done with all of the wedding planning and task lists and to-do's.  No really...see that task list up above this post?  That's really all that I have left to do that is wedding related.  And we still have 11 days to go and that stuff should be able to be knocked out pretty easy (sending up prayers).

This past week/weekend I did the following:

*  Finished assembling programs with help of Bridesmaid Deb
*  Assembled all the escort card favor boxes filled with M&M's and JellyBeans with help of MOH Julie and BM Erin (printed all the guests' names and cut them out and put them in alphabetical order)
*  Fixed up my little silver bells that needed some TLC (they'll hold the trivia cards on each table)
*  Reorganized and confirmed that I had all my kids' favor boxes correctly identified (we added 3 kids to our guest list that I needed to account for)
*  Met with my florist and paid her in full, met with my caterer, selected our menu and paid him in full
*  Had my MOH (sister) design our menu cards to display on the appetizer and buffet tables
*  Put together our gift card box
*  FINISHED OUR WEDDING VIDEO that will be played at the ceremony as a lead in to my walk down the aisle (Post coming tomorrow with the final video for you to see!)
*  Printed out final seating charts for coordinators and caterers

I'm waiting for our placecards to arrive this week so that I can put them together by table assignments for our coordinator and then that's it! 

So I really think I should have everything done at least a good week before the big day!  Yea me!  I can just relax and get my massage and my nails done and all that jazz.

Of course, I do need to pick up all the tuxedos two days before the wedding to deliver to all of our guys coming in from out of town.  I am praying that goes smoothly as you will remember from my post a few days ago that stupid tuxedo shop has been the biggest thorn in my side during this whole process!

Well, ladies...I know a few of you just got married or are soon to be married.  And then there are those of you who have a ways to go still.

Did/Do you feel like you had everything done with a few days to spare or were you rushing up until the night before?  If you're not married yet, do you think you'll be able to give yourself time to have everything done a little early?  It is SO nice for me because now if I forget anything, I have a few days to go over it all in my head and handle any last minute issues.

PS  All is well here after the 7.2 earthquake in Mexico that we definitely felt here in So Cal.  Mr Fix It and I were in the grocery store when the earthquake started and every aisle had a few things that fell off the shelves.  It was not that scary but definitely strong and longer than most we have had lately.  What a weekend.

No longer quite the wedding tv addict

Are you like me?  Do you like watching wedding related shows on tv?  Well, for the last two years, I've been pretty addicted to all things wedding on tv.  And thanks to channels like WEtv, TLC and the Style network, I have been able to keep my brain on inactive mode by filling my mind with mindless shows like Rich Bride, Poor Bride - Say Yes to the Dress - Whose Wedding is it Anyway? - My Fair Wedding - Platinum Weddings - Bridezillas, etc.

I got my daughter hooked on them, too.  But over the past couple of months, I find that I have begun to lighten up on my wedding tv intake.  The main reason is because I just simply do not have that much time to watch tv anymore :)  But another huge part of the reason is because at this stage in the engagement, with only 13 days to go until the wedding, there's really no reason to watch these shows for ideas or advice.  In addition, more than anything, they kind of stress me out.  They make me think of my own wedding and the things that may go wrong or the anxiety of all of the planning that has gone into the big day and all that jazz.

So for now, I am on a wedding show hiatus.  At least until well after the big day when I can enjoy them again and look back on how much better my wedding was than all of theirs :)

Besides, why in the world would I want to watch shows like this that just make me envious of what I know I can't afford and won't have at my own wedding?

What about you?  Do you watch any wedding shows on tv and what are your thoughts on them and why you watch?

A super busy weekend

Today is MOVING DAY!!!

I am just taking the final things out of my dresser and living room so that the guys can grab our furniture in a few hours. 

I started assembling my programs Thursday night and am trying to do 10-20 per day.  I also need to start assembling the escort cards which I just printed up all the name tags and sticker labels for yesterday. 

Tomorrow we are having a family lunch at my grandmother's house (about an hour and a half away) since we expect this will most likely be the last time that our entire family is able to be with my grandmother*.  While we are there, Mr Fix It will stay home and work on building our cake stand, attaching a stand to our 'This Way to the Wedding Sign' and finishing up some work around the house.  He'll be missed but at this point, we just don't have the ability to take many 'days off.'  There's too much to do still.

This next week I finally have totally free of any appointments - personal or wedding related.  So I can just focus on getting the final details planned out and going over my checklists in my mind. 

20 days to go!  

*  But you never know, my Grandma is tough as nails and could end up hanging on for much longer than the hospice nurses have led us to believe :)

Can't you just do one thing for the wedding?!?

Well, here we are...just 23 days away from our wedding day.  Holy smokes!

I have been busy for sure and am so bummed I have not been able to comment on many of my fellow blogs I follow.  I have noticed that comments here on my own blog have been dwindling due to my lack of visiting other blogs :(  Please bare with me...it has just been crazy busy.

The good news is, that my house is almost completely packed up.  We are moving the furniture on Saturday.  I've applied for our marriage license online so we will pick that up in a week or so.  My programs are being shipped to me right now so I can assemble them (post coming tomorrow).  I finally got the pictures from my bridal shower (post coming next Tuesday).  I will be putting together escort cards in the next week or two.  I got me and Mr Fix It's Australian visas.  I am in the midst of final planning meetings and picking out our menu tonight.  Things are definitely getting done.

Overall, I've been feeling good.  Not anxious, not stressed, not feeling dizzy or sick.  But now things are getting all drama again.  My mom is seriously losing it.  She lets every little thing get to her.  Understandable since she is working like crazy and also in the middle of a move (she's moving back into the condo I am about to move out of).  And of course her mother (my grandma) is dying and continues to go down hill each week.  At this rate, we are fearful that she may pass the week of our wedding.  Please pray that does not happen. 

And this past week, my daughter had a melt down over having to move 25 minutes away.  It is a long story but basically, her dad lives about 10-15 minutes from us and he has her a few days out of each week.  So on the days she is with dad (2 during school week), he drives her to school which is near our current house.  Well, I told her that she won't have to switch schools once we move into Mr Fix It's place...we'll just make the 25 minute drive to school each morning on the 2 or 3 days she is with me.  Not a big deal really.  But she thinks it's the end of the world and she is going to be 'isolated' from her friends.  Granted, she will have her license in a year and I am sure will have a car to drive herself around.  But it all came out yesterday and she and I got in a big fight about it.  My fear is she is going to go running to her father wanting to move in with him and I will be devastated.  Not what I want to be dealing with 3 weeks before our wedding (and move).

So yesterday, when I told Mr Fix It that our venue is going to require us to rent a generator to play the video on the tv's I rented for our ceremony, he flipped out.  I asked him if someone out of the 15-20 people who will be staying at his house (and mostly in our wedding party) from his family could pick up the generator on their way to the venue on the day of the wedding.  He went off on how none of them has a car to do this or whatever.  I stayed calm for a while.  And then I snapped at him:

"I have been doing EVERYTHING for this wedding and I ask you and your family to handle one simple task of picking something up when they are on their way to the venue and you can't just handle it for me?!  I am paying for it, I reserved it, I can handle getting it returned the next day, and I got the DJ to agree to unload, load and set it all up for us." 

He finally calmed down and said he'd see if his brother could help out.  I kept reminding him how we have not asked our family or wedding party to do anything at all regarding this wedding other than pay for the clothes we picked out for them and show up in their dress or tux on the day of.  Is that so difficult to ask ONE person to pick something up for us?   ARGH!

Then, after he left, his sister in law happened to call me and I told her about his little blow up.  She lives about 5 minutes from me with Mr Fix It's brother (her husband).  She said that since her hubby and son (our Jr Groomsmen) were going to be getting ready for the wedding and the pictures, she had no problem driving 15 or 20 minutes to pick up the generator for us and bring it with her when she comes for the family pictures.  I was so grateful and glad that was easily handled.  Of course, *I* am the one who got it handled...not Mr Fix It.  Whatever.

At least it's done.  I have a feeling most of the posts leading up to the wedding are going to be more of my rants and full of emotion rather than full of all of the ideas, items, and plans I've been blogging about for the past several months :)  Bare with me!

Moving Day and House Renovations

With just 27 days to go until the wedding, yesterday and today have been more pre-moving moving days.  A week from today, I will officially be moved in to Mr Fix It's home with my daughter.  Though technically, we won't be staying there until after the wedding day, all of our furniture will be moved in just a week from now.*

So tonight is my bachelorette party.  I am looking forward to just hanging out and having some fun socializing, food and laughs with my closest girlfriends.  But before the night begins, I am taking advantage of the fact that Mr Fix It is on his bachelor party in Vegas and moving in a bunch of stuff I can tackle on my own into his house. 

I also hired a maid service to come out this morning and clean the house from top to bottom since we're getting so close to being finished with all the house renovations.  There's a lot going on as usual...but this was a productive week.  Now, by next Saturday, I should (totally praying the Lord helps me out on this one) be able to completely done with all the 'work' that needs to be handled before the wedding.  I will be almost completely finished with all the DIY assembling and I won't be doing any more physical labor type work leading up to the big day for those last 20 days.  I'll be relaxing, getting massages, packing for the honeymoon and getting all our gear together that has been packed in the 'wedding storehouse**' for the past year!

So cool...totally almost there now!

*  I currently rent a condo from my mother.  She is moving back into the condo the same weekend that we are moving all of our furniture into Mr Fix It's place.  So I won't be homeless.  I'll just be living with my mom in my same house for the last two weeks leading up to the wedding.  Only it will technically be her home now and not mine anymore :)
**  aka the secret water heater storage area behind my daughter's closet.

Don't forget your checkbook!

I know a lot of brides (and probably even me) will have to have almost everything paid for the wedding before the big day.  For example, my caterer requires balance paid in full 30 days prior to the wedding.  My DJ needs payment at least two weeks before the big day to allow time for processing.  My florist however will let me pay on the day of the wedding...ain't she sweet?

However, I don't necessarily want to be dealing with payments on the day of the wedding.  Unfortunately, there's no way around it completely.  So I will be sure to have my checkbook on hand (or a credit card if that would be allowed/accepted) for those last minute purchases or fees on the day of the wedding. 

Source

Here's a few things to consider or think of that you might need to be prepared for:

1)  Tips!  We plan on having cash tips in envelopes for our vendors and giving them to the coordinator on the wedding day.  They will have increments of cash in them such that when it's time to tip a vendor (DJ, photog, videog, etc) as they leave, the caterer will confirm with me or Mr Fix It as to how well we think they provided their services.  If they blew us away, she'll hand over the envelope with all of it's cash in it.  If they pissed us off or did something wrong, then we can pull out some of the cash and not tip as much at our discretion.

Source

2)  Overtime.  Thankfully, I had a planning meeting with my photog 2 weeks ago and figured out that I was going to need him for two hours more than I originally booked him for based on the schedule we came up with for the wedding day.  My contract states that overtime is charged at an hourly rate of 10% of the total contracted price.   But let's just say the groom's parents show up an hour late for pictures and we ask our photog to stay an extra hour to compensate on the day of the wedding?  Well then the overtime fee goes up to $300 an hour for the wedding day!  Be sure to ask how overtime is charged and assessed for all your vendors.  You never know if you're going to want/need to ask them to stay longer on the wedding day.

3)  Shortage of food or alcohol.  This is especially important for those of you that are handling catering or alcohol yourself.  Hopefully it won't happen, but what if you suddenly find that the bar is out of beer at 9:30!  You may have to send someone up to the local liquor store or discount grocery chain to get some extra cases and you'll need some moola on hand as I don't think they're going to offer to pay for it themselves!

4)  Decor items or florals ruined.  A friend of mine had her florist show up on the day of her wedding with a van full of wilted and dead flowers!  It was an insanely hot July day.  She was devastated.  They made a quick run up to Costco and had a friend buy a bunch of bouquets of roses and quickly assemble them for some bouquets and such. 

I love the motto "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst."  It's always good to anticipate potential emergencies or issues that might come up on the day of your wedding.  And having extra money on hand to be able to pay for unexpected expenses is an absolute must!  You don't want to be tearing into your wedding cards during the reception to see if anyone gifted you some cash you can use to pay for a wedding related expense!

Can you think of any other things that might come up on the wedding day you should be prepared for?

Why I'm Not a Wedding Planner

So the lovely Mrs T over at 99 + Forever has mentioned a couple times in her comments on my blog that I should be a wedding planner.  Isn't she just the loveliest friend?  I seriously think you should check out her blog if you are not already a follower...she has some great honest blogs about the not so perfect things that can happen during wedding planning and yet has such a tremendously positive outlook and perspective on love and marriage.

Anyway, as much as I appreciate the lovely comments, there is absolutely no way I would ever want to be a wedding planner/coordinator.  Funny thing is, I actually did consider it at one time...even had business cards made up for my company named 'Creativity in Consulting' and placed some small ads online.  But alas, I realized, the planning industry was not for me.

Don't get me wrong, I have all the skills and passions required to be a coordinator:

*  Love, love, love talking all things weddings
*  Love love itself :)
*  Have had a blast assisting friends and my baby sister planning their own wedding
*  Have mad (scary, anal, control freak type) skills when it comes to scheduling, organizing, planning, multi-tasking, etc.
*  Have total leadership (read: bossy) qualities to take control of situations and direct (read: order) people around in order to move things along

All great traits and definitely things I looked for when looking for my own day of coordinator.  However, as I started to set up my own coordinating business, the following things came to mind:

*  You will most likely be working many major holidays and most weekends of the year (if not every weekend during the summer)
*  You are in an extremely competitive and highly flooded industry in which coordinators (and other vendors like photogs, florists, DJs) all come a dime a dozen and can be found on any venue street corner
*  You end up having to take all the stress and pressure of ensuring a couple's big day is the absolute best it can be and if anything goes wrong, it's likely your fault, or at the very least will be attributed to you
*  You have to deal with a Bridezilla every once in a while and even worse, a Vendorzilla more often than not

And that's it...those were the 4 main things that made me realize it really wasn't what I wanted to do afterall...at least not as a single mom back about 9 or 10 years ago when I was considering it :)  So there you have it...

My hat goes off to any woman (or man) who truly finds his/her calling in the coordinating business.  I personally absolutely love my DOC, Amanda and am totally looking forward to working with her in just about 2 months!

So, any of you ladies ever considered taking your planning skills to the next level and doing this professionally?

Where do I start?

I have so much I want to tell all of you, but I don't know where to start...good and bad.  So much has happened yesterday...I am elated and devastated all in one.  I am giddy with anticipation and fearful of the unknown heartbreak that probably lies just ahead.  Where do I start?  There's much going on.

Here is my guy:

He's a tough guy...can you tell?  :)  He's as manly as manly can be.  And in the six years I've known him, he has never once shed a tear.  I always thought, "I will never see him cry ever...except for either on our wedding day (which I doubt) or on the day that his dog dies."

Well, here is our dog (it's actually his dog he has had since he was a puppy 11 years ago but after a six year relationship he is now definitely 'our' dog!):

(sorry for the horribly blurry and ugly picture)

He is the most amazing dog you'll ever find.  He is a full bred pitbull though he doesn't look like it and the smartest most loving most friendly most 'human' dog you will ever come across.  Those ears - we call him Scooby Doo sometimes.  The dog MAKES you love him...I am not a dog person and he is now like my child just like he has been for Mr Fix It all these years.  He is well trained and protects us at all costs.  He has helped Mr Fix It through some really hard times in his life.  And we just found out he has an enlarged heart.  He started having trouble breathing a couple weeks ago so Mr Fix It took him into the vet.  They ran some tests and said he has an irregular heartbeat and enlarged heart. 

Mr Fix It brought him home and brought him by my work yesterday.  He was fine, walking around, acting normal and letting me love on him.  And then, last night at midnight, Mr Fix It calls me.  And he's crying like a baby.  Mind you, I have *NEVER* seen Mr Fix It cry - EVER!

Come to find out, Kuta (he's named after a beach in Indonesia that Mr Fix It likes to surf at and is taking me to on our honeymoon) is really having a hard time breathing.  And he's almost lethargic.  And Mr Fix It is just absolutely certain that he is going to die this night and he is devastated and depressed and crying because there's nothing he can do for our puppy.

I try to calm him down, I pray for him, I just listen and fight back the tears myself.  We finally hang up.  I call in the morning and Kuta is doing better but still not himself.  Mr Fix It took him back to the vet, he called me on the way there once again in tears asking me if I am going to come see him if he has to make the decision to end any suffering for him.  I tell him to call me of course. 

But in the midst of this horrible circumstance, I am meeting with our caterer and coordinator at our venue in the morning.  We've had it booked for months and we need to have this meeting.  What do I do?  Mr Fix It calls and says the vet gave Kuta some medication to assist with his breathing and said to leave him for the day.  The vet said he could have a heart attack at any moment.  UGH!  But does that mean the medication will help and maybe he'll live many more years?  Or will he die any day now of this heart condition and Mr Fix It will be totally depressed in these last months leading up to our wedding?

I have been dreaming of when my daughter and I get to move in with Mr Fix It and Kuta and be a family with our dog...we often talk about how much Kuta loves me and my daughter and how excited he is going to be to have us there all the time.  This just cannot be happening...not now.  Not when Mr Fix It just had his work van break down last weekend and found out it's going to cost $5,000 to replace.  Not when he is already struggling to bring in an income right now because his business is not busy at all.  Not when he is stressed trying to plan and pay for our honeymoon in 3 months.  Why is this happening now?

So I try to shake off the tears and go through my three hour meeting with my caterer and coordinator talking all things wedding and plans and what not.  It took my mind off of things for a little while and I was feeling bad for feeling excited and laughing and dreaming about how to bring all our wedding plans to fruition.  And then I left the meeting, excited about the plans and depressed about how to deal with Mr Fix It and the unknown about our dog.

I had to cancel our first dance lesson for last night as Mr Fix It is in no mood to deal with anything...he is crying almost every few minutes.  And so am I.  I want to share about my meeting, but I need to be with my honey and our puppy.

Please be praying for God's provision both financially, emotionally and physically that we would be able to have health and ability to take care of both ourselves, our puppy and our daily work and stresses.  Yesterday was so great in my meeting but the sadness of what we're going through and seeing Mr Fix It so upset is just so so sucky.  So basically, yesterday mostly sucked - Seriously.