I have so much I want to blog about...but work is keeping me too busy catching up right now to take the time I really want to spend. However, I'm hoping that by next week I will be back to my normal blogging self with full recaps and full fledged following of all I've missed on your blogs!
Being in a new home with my daughter and now husband is really weird. It feels so nice and natural. But then when I am by myself I feel a bit freaked out sometimes. I feel a bit nauseous and nervous and scared. If you take out the 2 years I spent living with my daughter's father about 15 years ago, I have pretty much been living by myself (or with a girl roommate) for like 17 years! And being 37 and set in my ways with my own house has been a joy and a treasured lifestyle.
Even though Mr Fix It and I were together for 6 years before we got married just 18 days ago, we each had our own homes for the past 5+ years. We had our own way of doing things and our own stuff that fit nicely into our own places. But now, we are trying to fit a teenager and a woman into a bachelor's pad. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty nice and it is big enough, it just seems like it doesn't 'fit' yet.
I can't explain it. It's scary, exciting, romantic, exhausting, nervewracking, joyful and irritating all at once. :)
I guess I am in the adjustment phase. It's only been 3 days that we've been together in our new place. So far so good, but there have been little spats about where something will go or how messy my daughter's bathroom is with all her 'stuff' or how I don't like the sliding glass door open without having the screen door closed so bugs don't get in. (Mr Fix It has always left the screen door open for his dog, but now that he's gone, there's no need.)
Anyway, I just wanted to take the time to talk about the 'uncertain' and scary part of being newly married and newly living together. I don't really know how to organize my thoughts and feelings just yet. I am just letting them come, praying about them and trying to be honest and gentle about how I let them spill out. And it's hard too because Mr Fix It is dealing with the mourning and loss phase of losing his beloved pup still. So I am trying to be sensitive to his 'mood swings' and the fact that he is fighting off a depression. I know it sounds so strange but this dog was his child and he will definitely be feeling a since of 'aloneness' for a while.
But the husband and wife part...just learning how to share a tv, make room for someone else in the kitchen in the morning, and figuring out how to live with someone new...someone you are madly in love with...it's pretty difficult and yet makes you happy all at the same time.
Have any of you ever felt that way? Marriage is so weird...
Oh, and just so there's a photo thrown in here...here's a pic one of my girlfriends took on our wedding day of one of the white tigers at our venue. So pretty!
3 hours ago