The Beevers are not dead

Hi, everyone!

I noticed a few of you have left some comments lately wondering where I am.  Yes, I am still around and yes I am still married...very happily!

I feel horrible that I have not been blogging for the past couple of months.  I even have about 4 more posts that I never finished up from wedding recaps I'd still like to complete and blog for you soon.  And eventually, I'd like to start blogging more about our married life...the ups and downs and adjustment phases we've been encountering.

But all is, indeed, very well.  We are happy and living together for almost 7 months now just feels 'normal.' 

I asked Mr. Beever if it was weird for him to suddenly be leaving with a wife and a teenage daughter and he said "No, it just feels normal....like we've lived together forever."  I just adore him.  He has been saying some really sweet things lately...waking me up in the middle of the night to let me know that he loves me and is really happy.  He has told me several times this past month what a 'good woman' I am.  And he is just as good to me.

We just had my birthday last month and we're hoping to hit Vegas soon to celebrate a post b-day getaway.  I am also planning and hosting my very first family Thanksgiving this year at our place.  There will be about 20 to 25 of us and I am so nervous but really excited.

And of course, we just got a puppy about 2 months ago and so when I am home I try to focus on him and the family since we're at work all day away from each other. 

Work is slowing down a bit again so hopefully I will get back to all of your blogs.  I know some of you have recently married and I have lots of recaps to catch up on.

For now, I will leave you with the two Christmas cards we just ordered today.  We couldn't choose one of the two so we opted to get two and send out half and half to the 100 family and friends on our card list.

Hope you are all well!!!  Take care and I will most definitely be around.  :)

My baby sister designed both of these cards for us.  And of course we included the new puppy, Brody in our family photo card this year. 

Wed Recap: Family drama

It happens at many weddings...the unfortunate drama that unfolds (usually because of family issues) during the event.  It's truly so sad and frustrating that people can't put aside their differences, or even better, get over themselves during someone's most special wedding day event. 

At my sister's wedding there was a little drama but not much.  One of our Aunts flipped out because as my sister and her hubby were wandering around the guests' dinner tables to greet everyone, they suddenly ran out of time about halfway through.  The photographer was going to be leaving and needed the bride and groom to get on with the cake cutting and bouquet/garter toss.  Since my sister didn't get to talk to our Aunt at her table and it just so happened that we pulled the bride away as she was approaching their table, my Aunt started totally crying and yelling at me for not letting her talk to her.  It was so silly but that's what happens when you add alcohol. 

Then my sister got a little upset later that night when her new hubby's ex-girlfriend shared a cab with her her new mother-in-law to the after party.  It was already a huge selfless act that my sister was even willing to allow the ex-girlfriend to attend the event (which she didn't want to do), but to find out that her MIL offered her cab to the after party to her was just ridiculous!

Thankfully, there was no drama at our big event.  We didn't wander the tables and I made sure to go greet my Aunt so there were no disappointments. 

The only two things I heard about which irritated me on the day after the wedding were that one of Mr Fix It's brothers got into a little spat with him because his brother was yelling at his son about spending too much time in the photobooth.  The kids loved that thing and they were in and out of it all night.  Mr Fix It's nephew was in there a lot and rather than just telling him to get out and wait until everyone else had had a turn inside, his dad decided to make him sit at their dinner table for almost an hour!  That was not necessary and Mr Fix It was pretty pissed when he heard about it.  He told his brother to calm down and not be such a dictator...the kid was just having fun.

Then my sister told me that one of my other Aunts came up to her at the cocktail hour and gave her a hard time about what a horrible job she did bustling my dress.  If you remember from this post, we were rushing my poor sis and I knew I was about to take my gown off to change right after the cocktail hour so I told her not to worry if it wasn't perfect and part of the dress was dragging on the ground.  So not a big deal to me at all but it did bother me that my Aunt felt the need to ridicule my sister about it.  So not cool and so not necessary.  My sister told her that it was the bride's own decision to leave it like that and my Aunt told her she shouldn't have let me walk out into the cocktail area until it was fixed.

People are so silly about what they get hung up on...it really befuddles me.  :)

Share Time:  Did you have any drama (or are you concerned about any potentail drama) at your wedding day?

Wed Recap: I feel like I am suffocating!

If you don't remember, I shared in this post about my fear pre-wedding that I would pass out on my wedding day or even worse, at the altar!  Then in this post I did a recap of what the morning of the wedding was like for me and how whenever there was 'down time' during the day of the wedding where I was just sitting with nothing to do, I would truly feel nauseous and like I was going to pass out.

Please understand, this was not a feeling of being anxious or nervous.  No, I think what was really causing me to feel this way was that I was lacking oxygen! 

I truly did love this gorgeous little number:

(The one above is my FAVORITE photo of me in my dress that day because it is just fanned out so perfectly.  If only my bouquet wasn't so high and huge blocking this beautiful bustline below.)

The more I look at the pictures and video from our wedding, the more I fall in love with it. 

Yes, Maggie Sottero made a great gown when she came up with the SaBelle.  And one of the main reasons I chose this dress was because it had a corset back:

I have always been pretty thin my whole life but once in a great while my weight fluctuates up or down.  I didn't want to take the chance of a strapless gown falling off of me if I lost weight right before the wedding so I wanted a corset that could be adjusted to allow some freedom for my body.  And I really loved the style and embellishments around it, too.

Unfortunately, the problem with a corset is that they are extremely constricting.  Remember that scene in Titanic where Kate Winslet's character is having her corset dress tied up by her mother and she pulls the thing so tight she can barely breathe?  Well, that's what a corset does, DUH!  I don't know why women ever used to put themselves through the torture back in the day! 

Being that I don't boast much of a chest, I needed the gown to be pretty tight because there was nothing else to hold it up.  Add that in with a gown that my seamstress referred to as 'the heaviest wedding dress I've ever worked on' and you have a pretty bad combination for a bride who is prone to passing out.

Thus, I give you one of my favorite video clips of the raw footage from my wedding.  Since my friend, Charlie is singing at the time me and Mr Fix It are having this little conversation, I added in some captions to assist with what we are saying to one another, but you may want to turn the volume up pretty loud to hear our conversations.  (I also love this because we are having full on random conversations during this moment of the ceremony and in addition Mr Fix It felt the need to point out that my false eyelash was coming off.) 

Basically, what it comes down to is that I was so freaking glad that I had planned on changing into a second dress to dance in. Originally, I wanted to wear my ball gown through the cocktail hour, grand entrance, toasts, and dinner.  Then I was going to change into my second dress when they reintroduced us for our first dance.  But after the cocktail hour I was done!  So I went in and changed into my second dress just before our Grand Entrance.  As we were standing behind the fireplace hiding from our guests until it was our turn to be introduced, I asked Mr Fix It what he thought of my new dress I had just put on.  He looked me up and down and said one word:  "Hot."

These are some of the best shots I found of me in the reception dress.  It would have looked a hell of a lot sexier had I worn the gold heels I bought to go with it, but by this point of the day (like 7 hours after having been in my gown and other heels) I was too tired and had sore feet that were thanking me for grabbing a pair of the flip flop favors out of the basket you see right behind our cake table.

Look at the leg that this dress shows off!

And here's that stupid frown/smile again - UGH!

I absolutely loved the one sided strap and the bust of the dress.

Courtesy of Yan Freedline

Share time:  Did/Will you change into a second dress during your wedding events?  If not, were you comfortable in your one dress for the whole day?

Unless otherwise indicated, all photos by Robert Mullins
Raw video footage courtesy of Video Keepsakes of Beverly Hills

Sad news yesterday...

Yesterday was the day that I have been dreading and expecting since a few months before our wedding.  I have mentioned a few times about how disappointed I was that my grandmother (due to failing health) became unable to travel just 2 months before our wedding.  She has had heart, lung and many other health issues for years now and we never expected her to live this long.  But she is a fighter and stubborn :)

I was praying she would just make it til after our honeymoon and now here we are 2 1/2 months after our wedding and yesterday she finally left our world to pass over into the arms of our God. 

My daughter with Grandma a few halloweens ago

It has been especially difficult these last few months...she lives about 90 minutes from us and my mother has been spending every weekend at her home to spend time with her and assist her older sister (my aunt) with her health.  Just a month before our wedding I was visiting her and the hospice care nurses decided to bring in a hospital bed and from that day on, she would never walk again.  She is so frail and fragile that even the slightest touch or bump would deeply bruise her or even worse, tear open her skin :( 

Me and my sister with Grandma when I was about 2 or 3 years old

We celebrated her 95th birthday with her at the end of May and just last weekend my sister and I spent 2 days with her.  Each time I have seen her over the last few months she gets progressively worse.  I have watched her body deteriorate...though until the last week or two, her mind was completely there. 

These last few days were the hardest on our family.  Last Saturday I cooked her the very last meal she would ever eat - spaghetti and garlic bread - a favorite of hers.  She never ate this past week and could not even drink - not even water.  Her body had filled with so much fluid from the heart and lung disease that she was totally bloated.  My mother could barely hold her hand because the touch would hurt her or open her skin. 

Me and my Grandma and Grandpa

She would really only sleep but she couldn't even do that well because she was struggling to breathe from coughing and gurgling the fluid in her lungs. 

We have been praying for weeks for God to just take her home...we would say that we can't understand why she just won't let go and be at peace.  And Friday night was the worst for me.  My mother took this past week off of work as they knew the end was very close and she wanted to be there with her sister.   My mom called me Friday and updated me on her condition...I came home and sobbed and told Mr Fix It that I just didn't want her to suffer anymore.

Yesterday morning, my mother called to tell me she slipped away and stopped breathing with my mother there in the room.  I have been in tears and laughter throughout this past day.  And there are many more tears to come...she was the matriarch of a large family...5 children, 10 grandchildren (and their spouses) and many great grandchildren.  She even had a great great granddaughter (you'll see her pic in a future recap).  She lived a full life...she loved and cared for her family and we loved her like no other.  She was like a second mother to me...helped my parents raise me...babysat me. 

I was so blessed to know her and love her and be loved by her.  I cannot wait to see her again one day and I am so grateful that she is at rest and no longer in pain and an ailing body.  This whole process has made me ponder life, death and the frailty of our bodies...to watch life go from birth through death in old age is not really a beautiful thing to me as some say.  I personally believe it is a sad thing, but it makes me so grateful for health and for life and for relationships.  An aging frail body going through the dying process only reminds me that this life is not all we were intended for...there is something more beautiful, peaceful, healthy and whole waiting for us.  And the life I will live with my grandmother there reminds me to be hopeful and to fondly cherish the memories and love she leaves with us all.

Love you Grandma!

We interrupt the wed/h-moon recaps for...

...a little fun from our family life on Thursday night...stick it out til the end for a funny joke :)

Get ready for this...Little Miss's uncle's partner (whew!) is trying to break into photography as an art form and so he had his first official exhibit in a small gallery in their building in Los Angeles Thursday night.  Since we are pretty close with Little Miss's family on her father's side and all attend each other's events (sports games, birthday parties, weddings, etc), my mom, sister, Little Miss and I all decided to brave the traffic from the OC into LA.

They live right near Staples Center and so we were thrilled when we remembered that the playoff Lakers game was being held in Boston that night (bummed though that the Lakers lost) :(  So we really didn't hit any traffic at all on the 405.

We got to the exhibit about 6:30 pm and browsed around our friend's photos and got to hear the stories behind the shots...like the beautiful photo he snapped of the steps at Mansanar (a Japanese internment camp that is now pretty much torn down due to embarassment I am sure).  And then there was the photo titled Cabin Fever which was of a broken-down-busted-out-window-falling apart cabin in the middle of Joshua Tree desert.  Little Miss's grandmother proceeded to tell us how it belongs to her relatives and they used to go there 25 years ago for little weekend trips.  Very interesting.

Unfortunately, I didn't snap any pics of the photos out of respect for our friend's artform and not wanting to 'plagiarize' his stuff, though he probably wouldn't have minded.  However, I did snap this little pic of my sister:

Yeah, that's Brad Wollack and Ross Matthews (comedians from the Chelsea Lately show).  We got to chat with them for a bit since Little Miss's uncle and aunt are friends with Chelsea and several of her staff attended the event.  It was pretty cool.  Very down to earth fun guys.  Since I was following the Laker game on my cell, they asked me about my new Droid phone and if I liked it?  Then they told me that even though they both have the iPhone, they don't like the service AT&T provides.  Which then led to a fun little joke they wrote up for a future comedy act about how they 'forgive' AT&T because even though it's not great, they get service that 'goes down on them about 6 or 7 times.'  Silly boys!

The thing after the rehearsal that wasn't...

I shared about how our rehearsal really wasn't one at all since all we did was line everyone up and show them how to walk down the aisle and where to stand at the end of the aisle.  We didn't rehearse anything and somehow the one thing we did rehearse (timing the walking down the aisle to the music for the processional) ended up getting screwed up on the day of the wedding.  When I watched my wedding video I noticed that the bridemsaids were practically *running* down the aisle!  I asked my daughter why the heck everyone was sprinting and she said because the coordinators told them to go fast because the song wasn't long enough.  First of all, this wasn't true at all..so either the DJ started too early or the coordinators did not tell people when they were supposed to start their walk.  But whatever...and don't worry, I'm in the process of figuring out how to convert the raw footage I received from my videographer to use on my PC so I fully intend to show you the 'sprint' down the aisle :)

At the end of our practice walk, my coordinator says "That's the fastest rehearsal I've ever done!"  Yeah, well, that's because it *wasn't* a rehearsal, silly girl!

I then handed out the pre-printed directions I brought for the wedding party from our venue to the restaurant which was about 30 minutes away and we piled into cars and took off.  We arrived at the Spaghetti Factory in Newport Beach and had a great little banquet room upstairs all to ourselves.  They had tables lined up and the first thing Mr Fix It says to me when we are all looking for where we should sit is "Babe, would you be upset if I sit at a table with all the guys?"  I gave him this look like "Are you serious right now?"  This is our rehearsal dinner and you don't even want to sit with me?!?  What the eff?  But since once again, I was just trying to go with it and not throw a fit about anything, and since he said with his puppy dog eyes "If it will upset you, then I won't but I just would love to be able to hang with my brothers."  (Several of them live out of the area and flew/drove in for the day so how could I possibly deny him?)  I told him fine and went to sit with my family. 

My daughter, Little Miss made the rounds at the tables and snapped bunches of shots of everyone...

Me and Mr Fix It (of course he has to stick his tongue out - moron!)

My mom, bridesmaid D, and Little Miss (daughter)

My dad and his wife, J

Mr Fix It's Dad, Mom, sis-in-law J and niece M

Mr Fit It's brother (Groomsman C), Mr Fix It, Mr Fix It's best friend (Groomsman T) and best friend's wife

My sis and her hubby

My bestie, Bridesmaid L (who flew in from Idaho but just moved back to our area today!!!)

My flower girl (cousin T) and her mom (Bridesmaid cousin E)

Mr Fix It's Aunt & Uncle (who flew in from MN)

Mr Fix It's brother (Best Man K) and friend (Groomsman J) and our Jr Groosman (nephew J)

Mr Fix It's sister C and sis-in-law T with their kids (2 of our ring bearers)

Mr Fix It's bro-in-law with another one of our ring bearers

My cousin Bridesmaid A with her hubby and son

So after dinner, it was time to give out our bridal party gifts.  I asked Mr Fix It to help me pass them out.  You can read about them here.  I then thanked everyone for coming and told them how grateful we were for each one of them.  Then I told the bridesmaids and groomsmen that they were supposed to wear whatever was in their gift box on the day of the wedding.  This was referring to the red argyle socks that I had wanted to get a super cool pic of all the guys showing off on wedding day.  However, we didn't even end up getting pictures of this because I forgot to mention it to my photographer...again, another reason why you should make a list of must have shots!  I had forgotten that one of the things I also put in their gift boxes were these cute little tins with bandaids in them that read "Hugs and Kisses from the new Mr. & Mrs."  These were for potential accidents on wedding day and believe me, in a future recap I will share why it was a good thing I had them!  Well, one of Mr Fix It's brothers then joked about putting on all of the bandaids for the wedding since I said they were supposed to wear what was in the boxes.

After they opened their gifts, I finished off my speech by reminding them of when and where they were supposed to be for photos.  I then proceeded to tell them that if they wanted to stress me out or upset me on my wedding day, all they had to do was be late.  So "You better not be late!"  Luckily, Little Miss snapped this shot of me reiterating this :)

(Don't you love my cousin's face in the right side of the pic?  He knows I mean business!)

And that was it, our wedding rehearsal was over and Mr Fix It didn't even sit with me...silly boy!  I told you 2 days ago in my post that boys are stupid...just another reason why :)

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  (Or rather rehearsal tip)  Remember to bring the things most often forgotten for your rehearsal:

*  A boom box to practice the music you will be walking down the aisle to (both ways) - or have the live musicians there to practice and be sure their songs run a good length.  If it's too short, ask them how they'll lengthen it...and if it's too long, tell them to fade it out early.

*  Directions for your party members from the venue to the dinner.

*  A few copies of your script with the key elements of the ceremony so you can run through the walks, hand offs (of bride, flowers, rings, etc), readings, etc.

*  The readings, poems, and other elements for communion, unity ceremonies, etc.  Typically, you can bring these items to the rehearsal to leave overnight at your venue or hand off to your officiant, coordinator or another trusted party member to bring on the day of the wedding. 

The rehearsal that wasn't...

I was out of it this weekend for many reasons, but I promise, the recaps are gearing up in full swing now and tomorrow is going to be one you won't want to miss! 

Our rehearsal should have been a hint for me that all was not going to go so perfectly before the wedding.  I was really looking forward to a great afternoon at our venue and a wonderful dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory in Newport Beach with all of our family and friends who were in town for the big day. 
The day of the rehearsal my future MIL called me and asked how I was doing.  In the course of the conversation, she says to me "You probably already know about E (Mr Fix It's brother who was one of our groomsmen flying in from Alaska)."  I said "No, what's wrong with E?"  Well, she proceeds to tell me that E missed his flight which was supposed to be arriving at 10:30 am on the morning of our rehearsal.  No one is exactly sure why he missed his flight but I didn't let it bother me.  I guess it's not a huge deal if someone has to tell him where to stand and when to walk down the aisle on the actual day of the wedding...because now he wouldn't be arriving until 7:30 pm...right in the middle of our dinner that night!  Thankfully, I was not about to let Mr Fix It's father go pick him up at LAX in the middle of our rehearsal so he and his wife had to rent a car.

I have to admit, this did disappoint me.  I have been in many rehearsals in the past and they have always been such a great way for wedding party members to meet and bond and get to know one another before the big day.  This is what makes it fun for the actual wedding day...you get a bit of a friendship building there and personalities are getting comfortable around one another.  So when I found out that my cousin BM E who was walking down the aisle with GM E wouldn't meet him until a few hours before the wedding, I was a bit bummed.  But what can you do? 

So we met up at the venue at 3:30 pm.  All of us...the bride and groom, the wedding coordinator (fabulous Amanda from In the Now Weddings), the bridesmaids (Little Miss, my 2 cousins and my bestie L) and MOH baby sis J and the groomsmen and best man (Mr Fix It's three two brothers, his nephew and 2 friends), parents from both sides and all the little nephews who made up the ring bearer parade.  Wait...someone was missing...hmmm...oh yeah, my pastor!  The officiant had e-mailed me earlier that week saying he would not be there until closer to 4:30 pm...um, hello...we kind of need you, ya know?!?  But again, what can I do?  He said to have Amanda line everyone up and have them practice walking in and that stuff and then we would just run through the ceremony when he got there...BIG MISTAKE!  I gotta say, I do love Pastor L and I will share more about him in a future recap.

Anyway, when we first got there, Mr Fix It pulled me aside over by the deck that is in the cocktail area overlooking the ceremony down below.  (I apologize for the blurry photos that Little Miss got on her camera, but something is better than nothing)  :)

He asked me if I was happy.  He said that he hoped that I was getting my dream come true with this venue...of course I told him I would be happy marrying him anywhere!

So we walked everyone down to the ceremony area where we quickly ran through the line up and had everyone practice walking in and out to the music that I had brought on my iPod boombox.  Seemed to have it timed well.  Here's everyone lined up:

At the time, things were once again going by way too fast and I did not feel like I was in the moment.  I had planned on confirming a lot of the details with Amanda and my pastor during the rehearsal but again, wish I had written them down or discussed them with them beforehand.  I did not like the way we set the guys and girls staggered on the stairs...I wanted them in a straight line angling down to the bottom.  But there is nothing I can do about it now...it's over and I was just going where they told me basically.   Nothing like I expected...I thought for sure I would be little miss director...not so much. 

Oh, and here's the ribbon bouquet that my lovely BM D made at my bridal shower which I was carrying for my 'rehearsal' walk down the aisle:

(a mish mash of bows and ribbons and tissue papers)

So after we practiced lining up and the walk, we stood around...and waited...and waited...and waited.  And then I finally told the restless family and all their children to go browse the grounds and check out the zoo and when our pastor got there I would call them all around if we needed them.  So me and Mr Fix It and Amanda sat waiting for Pastor L.  About 45 minutes passed and my cousin A called and said she thought our pastor was wandering up in the parking lot!!!  So we trudged off to find him not wanting to sit and wait any longer. 

We met him in the reception hall.  And since it was so late and we had a dinner to get to, we just quickly skimmed through the wedding ceremony script I had given him and that was it.  This may not seem like a big deal to many of you...especially if you've never been through a rehearsal.  Well, it was a big deal...which proved itself the next day during the ceremony.  Because we didn't rehearse when and how I would hand off my flowers, we didn't rehearse when and how we would present the rings, nor did we rehearse when and where we'll move, when the singer will begin (who also wasn't there), and when and what Little Miss was supposed to say during the vows we were including her in.  When it came time for Little Miss to step forward and join us, she started to walk behind me and then couldn't figure out where to stand since we were all squished together up there on the stairs...so we ended up putting her in the middle of us where the pastor was (you'll see it on video in a future recap).

That's what happens when you don't rehearse!  No one knows where to go or what to do and you don't see how things are going to play out during the ceremony.

Again...it was one of those things that I wish I would have planned better before hand and I wish I would have made it mandatory for my pastor to be there the entire time.  (sigh)

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  Be sure that you allow enough time to run through your ceremony at your rehearsal.  Don't just tell people where to stand, but practice walking down and up the aisle (both ways), to the music.  Make sure it's timed okay and if not, how will you lengthen or fade it out?  Be sure your officiant goes through the entire plan of the ceremony (not all the specific words he will say but the basics) and mentions to your MOH "This is where you take her flowers or where you go straighten her train" or "This is where you say I Do."  Be sure that you know who will hold the rings and how they will be handed off.  Have people who are performing songs or sharing readings/poems be there to show them when they'll rise for their part and where they'll stand...is the entire bridal party blocking their path to the microphone?  These are all things you'll want to think through before the rehearsal and then tweak to get them right at the rehearsal.  Of course, nothing is ever going to go perfectly, but it's good to plan this out beforehand.

Wed recap: My one bridezilla moment

Today is June 4th...it's a special day.  Know why?  Because today, both my mother *AND* my sister celebrate their birthday.  That's right, baby sis (MOH J) was born on my momma's 20th birthday :)  Kinda cool I think.  To celebrate, we are renting a little electric boat to ride around in Newport Beach harbor...we're bringing some pizzas and wine and sodas and hanging with my sister's hubby and my little niece and nephew, my mom, me, Mr Fix It and Little Miss.  Good times.

So today, on the birthday of my sweet MOH baby sis J, I want to share with you the one bridezilla moment I had on wedding day.  And I am so *NOT* proud of it!  I wish I could have a do over!

This is me and my baby sis MOH J:

Isn't she gorgeous?

She worked her little behind off that day...she showed up around 9 am I think and was helping my mom with unloading cars full of food, gowns, accessories, and so on.  She did things that the photographer and coordinators asked her to help with and followed me around all day carrying my train and straightening my gown.  It really started with her picking up this bad girl and getting her ready for entry when it came time for me to get dressed:

Then there was the following me around like a shadow as the train keeper:

And the train straightener...for both pre-ceremony photos:

And during the ceremony:

She looked adorable as she walked her son, Ring Bearer PJ down the aisle...look at the sun shining on her like she's an angel!

And made me laugh during the great toast she gave at our reception (more in a future recap):

But for some reason, it didn't seem like she was around me that much on the actual day of the wedding.  Looking at these pics, it's obvious she was doing her duties well.  And let me tell you, she really wanted to give a toast at the reception but she is deathly afraid of public speaking so this was a truly stressful thing she was thinking (and worrying) about all day.  She rocked it though...can't wait to share with you from the video!

The unfortunate thing was that we did all of our photos before the ceremony...right during her son and daughter's nap time.  And my little nephew really needs his naps.   So I was truly disappointed that he is not in ANY of our shots taken before the wedding...not in the one shot I got with me and the other 3 ring bearers and flower girl and not in the shots we took with our immediate family :( 

When he finally did show up on the day of the wedding, he was apparently still tired and hubby was having a hard time getting him into his tux.  So my sis had to run off to handle him...she wasn't real happy about that hoping Daddy could have handled it along with his mother (Grandma Kiki) because she was busy enough as the Matron of Honor. 

Then earlier when we were wandering the grounds for photos I had another maid come along to carry my bouquet and train because my sis was nowhere to be found.  Apparently the coordinators or someone asked her for some help.  I didn't know that at the time. 

Later, when it was time for our first look, I was standing by myself getting ready to walk.  And none of my maids were around me...I learned a little trick where I would pick my train up over my arm and then spin around in a big circle...as I was spinning, I would throw (release) the train of my gown and it would fly out around behind me and land perfectly unfolded and flat and laid out behind me.  Pretty neat, huh?  The videographer even asked me to do it again at one point to try to catch it on film.

But at some point during this little trick I happened to say the following:

"Yeah, I had to figure out how to handle all this myself since I have the worst Matron of Honor ever!  Here's a hint, don't ever ask someone with kids to be a bridesmaid!"

There were a few family members and vendors around when I said it...and my sis was there, too :(  She looked at me and I know she said something back to snap at me.  I felt really bad after the words came out of my mouth.  I tried to eat the words back up saying "Well, I just mean you have other things to tend to and worry about."  But it was too late...the bridezilla in me got out for that brief moment and it was a truly horrible thing to say.  I really didn't even mean it...I mean, she went above and beyond.  So I profusely apologized that day and on the day after the wedding and a few times after we got back from our honeymoon.

So that was it...the one thing that I did that I was not proud of.  Thankfully, my loving sister is full of mercy and forgiveness and doesn't let those things linger once we've made amends and moved on.  :) 

I didn't need to say it like that, but as much as I hate to admit it, my wedding tip for today does come from a bit of truth in my mean girl comment:

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  Truly consider the roles and responsibilities you expect of each of your maids when you ask them to be a member of your wedding party.  Every single one of my maids had children, jobs and other commitments that made it very difficult to get them together or to have them help with wedding related appointments, to-do's and tasks.  If the people you want to stand up with you and assist you in your planning process have children, very involved work schedules or other responsibilities or relationships that may prevent them from giving you every bit of time and attention you'd like, you may want to consider whether or not to ask them to be in the wedding.  Or if you do, then remember not to have high expectations. 

I have to say, I would have had no other woman next to me on that day and my sister went so far above and beyond through all of the planning process with helping me design stationery, assemble favors, go shopping, and attend to all of my needs on the wedding day.  I was very blessed with the amazing and thoughtful shower and bachelorette party she threw me and all the time she found outside of her wifely and motherly duties to make me feel very special...and for that, I want to wish my baby sis, J the most amazing birthday ever today!  (And of course a huge birthday shout out to Mom, too!)

Here's the only shot I have of me and Mom on our wedding day thanks to my wonderful cousin, Bridesmaid A!

What a way to end a honeymoon...

It's me and Mr Fix It's last full day here in Bali.  We head home tomorrow afternoon.

And I have been checking e-mail and my blog real quick almost every single morning of our honeymoon.

Well today, I got the e-mail I didn't want to come...our friend who was staying at our house with our dog, Kuta (named after the beach where we are staying here in Bali) informed me that our pup passed away last night while we were gone.

I totally started crying when I read the e-mail.  And now I hav to decide if I should tell Mr Fix It now and ruin the last day and a half of our honeymoon or wait until we are on our way home to tell him.

He is going to be devastated...and I am so conflicted.  We knew he was not doing good since we found out he had a terminal heart condition two months ago, but we prayed he'd make it til we got home and at least have a few months with him.

Please pray for us, this is not the best way to end our honeymoon...but at least our dog is now at peace and not in pain.

It will be the worst thing in the world for us to walk into our empty home now for the first time.  I can't even imagine it.  Thanks for all of your encouragement and support...it means so much.

Do you need us there, too?

Ya know, I'm only getting married once in my life.  And I've waited 37 years for the right man to wed.  So it is kind of a big deal that I have my closest family and friends there along for the ride.

When I asked my sweet cousin, E (cousin by marriage, to my cousin, M) to be one of my bridesmaids, she cried.  It was awesome!  Not that I want to make people cry but that I had that kind of relationship that she was touched and honored to join me while taking my vows.  And of course, when it came time for the rehearsal (just 17 days from now!), I invited her along with her husband (my cousin, M) and their two children - the little girl who is my flower girl.

So when we were hanging out yesterday at my grandmother's house with the entire family, I was a little caught off guard when my Aunt S (M's mom) asked me if the rehearsal was only for the bridesmaids.  What does that mean?  At first, I thought she was asking if she and my uncle were invited to the dinner.  But then she said "You only need the girls to rehearse, right?  Like you don't need M and C (my little cousin) for the rehearsal, right?"  So I said, "No, only the girls *need* to be there. Why?" 

Aunt S:  "Well, because we are trying to do something with E & A (my other two cousins who are flying in from TN for the wedding) while they're in town and that is the only night that we have open.  So we want M & C to come with us while E & T (Bridesmaid and Flower girl) are rehearsaing."

What was I supposed to say?  I told her that was fine but really I was disappointed because I really wanted my cousins there with us at the dinner after the rehearsal.  Plus on top of that, we have booked the restaurant for 45 people and now it looks like only 37 are coming to the dinner.  So I have to call and make sure that is going to be okay.  So with those two not coming, that drops off another 2 people to meet our minimum at the restaurant.

Why do people always want to change things last minute?  Why don't people realize that to make your wedding run smoothly and not stress you out, all you want is for them to stick to the plan and not throw any loops your way or not make things more difficult?

There was more that unfolded this week (totally unrelated) to add to the wedding weekend timeline - stuff I would normally be on board with but really don't want to try to 'squeeze' in right in the middle of all else that is going on.  But I will not share that story now for sake of protecting the innocent.

Did you have any guests, family or friends throw unexpected changes into your guest lists or wedding related events?

Can't you just do one thing for the wedding?!?

Well, here we are...just 23 days away from our wedding day.  Holy smokes!

I have been busy for sure and am so bummed I have not been able to comment on many of my fellow blogs I follow.  I have noticed that comments here on my own blog have been dwindling due to my lack of visiting other blogs :(  Please bare with me...it has just been crazy busy.

The good news is, that my house is almost completely packed up.  We are moving the furniture on Saturday.  I've applied for our marriage license online so we will pick that up in a week or so.  My programs are being shipped to me right now so I can assemble them (post coming tomorrow).  I finally got the pictures from my bridal shower (post coming next Tuesday).  I will be putting together escort cards in the next week or two.  I got me and Mr Fix It's Australian visas.  I am in the midst of final planning meetings and picking out our menu tonight.  Things are definitely getting done.

Overall, I've been feeling good.  Not anxious, not stressed, not feeling dizzy or sick.  But now things are getting all drama again.  My mom is seriously losing it.  She lets every little thing get to her.  Understandable since she is working like crazy and also in the middle of a move (she's moving back into the condo I am about to move out of).  And of course her mother (my grandma) is dying and continues to go down hill each week.  At this rate, we are fearful that she may pass the week of our wedding.  Please pray that does not happen. 

And this past week, my daughter had a melt down over having to move 25 minutes away.  It is a long story but basically, her dad lives about 10-15 minutes from us and he has her a few days out of each week.  So on the days she is with dad (2 during school week), he drives her to school which is near our current house.  Well, I told her that she won't have to switch schools once we move into Mr Fix It's place...we'll just make the 25 minute drive to school each morning on the 2 or 3 days she is with me.  Not a big deal really.  But she thinks it's the end of the world and she is going to be 'isolated' from her friends.  Granted, she will have her license in a year and I am sure will have a car to drive herself around.  But it all came out yesterday and she and I got in a big fight about it.  My fear is she is going to go running to her father wanting to move in with him and I will be devastated.  Not what I want to be dealing with 3 weeks before our wedding (and move).

So yesterday, when I told Mr Fix It that our venue is going to require us to rent a generator to play the video on the tv's I rented for our ceremony, he flipped out.  I asked him if someone out of the 15-20 people who will be staying at his house (and mostly in our wedding party) from his family could pick up the generator on their way to the venue on the day of the wedding.  He went off on how none of them has a car to do this or whatever.  I stayed calm for a while.  And then I snapped at him:

"I have been doing EVERYTHING for this wedding and I ask you and your family to handle one simple task of picking something up when they are on their way to the venue and you can't just handle it for me?!  I am paying for it, I reserved it, I can handle getting it returned the next day, and I got the DJ to agree to unload, load and set it all up for us." 

He finally calmed down and said he'd see if his brother could help out.  I kept reminding him how we have not asked our family or wedding party to do anything at all regarding this wedding other than pay for the clothes we picked out for them and show up in their dress or tux on the day of.  Is that so difficult to ask ONE person to pick something up for us?   ARGH!

Then, after he left, his sister in law happened to call me and I told her about his little blow up.  She lives about 5 minutes from me with Mr Fix It's brother (her husband).  She said that since her hubby and son (our Jr Groomsmen) were going to be getting ready for the wedding and the pictures, she had no problem driving 15 or 20 minutes to pick up the generator for us and bring it with her when she comes for the family pictures.  I was so grateful and glad that was easily handled.  Of course, *I* am the one who got it handled...not Mr Fix It.  Whatever.

At least it's done.  I have a feeling most of the posts leading up to the wedding are going to be more of my rants and full of emotion rather than full of all of the ideas, items, and plans I've been blogging about for the past several months :)  Bare with me!

What the mom's are wearing

So Mr Fix It and I are not spring chickens at 47 and 37 years old.  Which means our moms are also a little older than maybe your average bride's mom :)  But who knows?  Maybe not.  People always say my mom looks like my sister.  She's only 18 years older than me.  Mr Fix It's mom is actually his step-mom as his real mother passed away years ago.  However, his step-mother has been married to his father for 40 years now and he calls her mom and thinks of her as such, so we don't make any distinction.  She is, afterall, the mother to his three half siblings. 

Anyway, I wanted our moms to feel comfy *and* dressy on our wedding day.  And I wanted them in age appropriate attire.  (My mom can tend to go for things that I think are a little younger than her years should allow.)  But I also didn't want to put any huge restrictions or demands on them.  So I was thrilled when we found a dress for mom that is truly flattering on her figure that we actually both love!  Not only that, but it is a very complimentary color to my girls' dresses and our wedding colors.

My mom will be in this Marc Bouwer Glammit draped gown with a little chiffon bolero:

But hers will be in this pretty dark teal color:

And Mr Fix It's mother has opted to wear a dress that her daughter picked out for her at her wedding a few years ago.  I think it matches the style and formality of my mother's gown well:

                                          

We scored on the Marc Bouwer gown as it went on sale right after Thanksgiving for $200 less than what it was listed at!  And since Mr Fix It's mom already had her gown, she obviously didn't have to come up with any extra cash. 

Have you ladies decided what your moms will be wearing on the big day?  Did you have much input or requests for them as to how you wanted them to dress?