The Video: A mashed up montage

I feel horrible because I only have about 10 or so recaps left and then I will finally be finished with all the sweet details of our wonderful wedding event. 

Unfortunately, I have not been able to sit at a computer for personal recreation (like to write my blog posts) for a week or so now.  And I obviously haven't been able to get over to your blogs either :(

Work has been crazy.  We also got a new puppy that we have been trying to train and has been consuming our time.  I want to write much and I want to read about all that is going on with you ladies but I just don't have the time.  On top of that, my wrist and arm have been totally acting up from carpal tunnel syndrome. 

Needless to say, this was evidenced by the fact that I began to write out notes for a post yesterday and then forgot to actually write the post...so forgetting about it, it automatically scheduled and posted live with just my notes instead of my thoughts :)  Silly girl...I am losing my mind!

To share at least something, I'm going to share this little montage video from our full wedding video which is a little recap of some of our photo session shoot and such.

Enjoy!

Wed Recap: Family drama

It happens at many weddings...the unfortunate drama that unfolds (usually because of family issues) during the event.  It's truly so sad and frustrating that people can't put aside their differences, or even better, get over themselves during someone's most special wedding day event. 

At my sister's wedding there was a little drama but not much.  One of our Aunts flipped out because as my sister and her hubby were wandering around the guests' dinner tables to greet everyone, they suddenly ran out of time about halfway through.  The photographer was going to be leaving and needed the bride and groom to get on with the cake cutting and bouquet/garter toss.  Since my sister didn't get to talk to our Aunt at her table and it just so happened that we pulled the bride away as she was approaching their table, my Aunt started totally crying and yelling at me for not letting her talk to her.  It was so silly but that's what happens when you add alcohol. 

Then my sister got a little upset later that night when her new hubby's ex-girlfriend shared a cab with her her new mother-in-law to the after party.  It was already a huge selfless act that my sister was even willing to allow the ex-girlfriend to attend the event (which she didn't want to do), but to find out that her MIL offered her cab to the after party to her was just ridiculous!

Thankfully, there was no drama at our big event.  We didn't wander the tables and I made sure to go greet my Aunt so there were no disappointments. 

The only two things I heard about which irritated me on the day after the wedding were that one of Mr Fix It's brothers got into a little spat with him because his brother was yelling at his son about spending too much time in the photobooth.  The kids loved that thing and they were in and out of it all night.  Mr Fix It's nephew was in there a lot and rather than just telling him to get out and wait until everyone else had had a turn inside, his dad decided to make him sit at their dinner table for almost an hour!  That was not necessary and Mr Fix It was pretty pissed when he heard about it.  He told his brother to calm down and not be such a dictator...the kid was just having fun.

Then my sister told me that one of my other Aunts came up to her at the cocktail hour and gave her a hard time about what a horrible job she did bustling my dress.  If you remember from this post, we were rushing my poor sis and I knew I was about to take my gown off to change right after the cocktail hour so I told her not to worry if it wasn't perfect and part of the dress was dragging on the ground.  So not a big deal to me at all but it did bother me that my Aunt felt the need to ridicule my sister about it.  So not cool and so not necessary.  My sister told her that it was the bride's own decision to leave it like that and my Aunt told her she shouldn't have let me walk out into the cocktail area until it was fixed.

People are so silly about what they get hung up on...it really befuddles me.  :)

Share Time:  Did you have any drama (or are you concerned about any potentail drama) at your wedding day?

Wed Video Recap: Moments before...

This is me singing:  "I'll take you there!"  You know that song?  Well, I'm singing it because...I have my raw video footage!!! Woo-hoo! So now I will be doing full fledged recaps with photos but also with some video as much as possible. I just love the ability to share the actual live experience...especially since there is a lot I want to share with you that my photographer missed! Or maybe didn't get great pics of. Whatever...I'll follow up on that soon.  But from this point on (and especially in these next few days and weeks), I'm going to take you with me right back to our wedding day...live and in person!  I promise to try to keep the videos to 3 minutes or less each post and will throw in pro pics as well so you get both media types to view.

So it was just moments before 5:00 pm when the ceremony was supposed to start.  I knew the guests had been arriving (heck, we even passed some of them an hour earlier while we were wandering the grounds taking photos!).  But for some reason, the guests apparently hadn't been sat yet because my mom and the best man came in asking me what was going on.  I told them to bring me my coordinator.

I didn't feel like we saw our coordinators much during the day.  Even when they were there helping at the ceremony, I don't remember them being around other than my main girl, Amanda.  She came in and I told her to have the aisle opened and the groomsmen start seating guests and she took off.  My mom and sister said every time they needed her they couldn't find her but I know her and her team were super busy setting up all the cocktail and reception area and handling other things.

Again, since we didn't really get to practice at our rehearsal, our ushers had no idea what was going on.  Plus, because of the zoo path, we had some guests coming in through the back of the ceremony area instead of across the bridge so they were not getting programs or being seated by ushers.

I had forgotten to tell the groomsmen and coordinators that some of my family/friends would have to sit on the grooms' side since I had twice as many guests as Mr Fix It.  But apparently my mom told a bunch of our family where to sit so that helped.  However, it's funny...we reserved the first 5 rows on each side for family and then half of them ended up standing in the back of the ceremony area with their kids walking around during the ceremony so the front rows were totally empty and the back rows were packed!!! :)

My mom insisted my coordinator was not around to tell everyone what to do and when to walk down the aisle and such but then my BM's told me that my coordinator was there telling them to 'walk fast' because the song was ending before they had enough time to get down the aisle.  So I don't know what the deal was but since I was tucked away, I didn't have a clue what was happening and it all worked out.

After the processional, the video started.  One of the videographers, Jamie, came in to talk to me while this was going on.  After Jamie walked out, it was just me in that room alone.  I was getting anxious, nervous, faint...whatever.  I was glad to be able to listen to the video and guests because it sort of took my mind off of what was about to happen.  Thankfully, I had my dad there. 

He would walk in and out trying to watch the video while talking to me at the same time.  He knelt down and asked me how I was doing and I told him I was worried about passing out.  He just looked at me and said "Just breathe.  Calm down.  It's going to be great."  I remember he took my hand and that was so comforting.  Funny because my dad lives in Houston and we really don't have much of a relationship anymore...but time and distance and the life that keeps people separated cannot break the love and bond of family. 

Just as it was time for me to stand up and walk down the aisle I stood in the door way.  For whatever reason, I looked behind me.  Remember how I told you back here about the spots on my dress?  Well, what I saw when I looked down just 60 seconds before I was supposed to walk down the aisle should have sent me reeling!  There were HUGE black streaks down my gown!  I have absolutely no idea where they came from...before the processional started, my sister and cousin A had taken me outside and inspected the gown and dabbed and removed all the dirt and spots they could find.  I had only been sitting in a chair during the processional and video and the chair wasn't dirty so who knows what happened? 

Amanda was standing just outside the door next to my dad and I calmly said "Amanda.  Amanda!  I need you to grab those paper towels and that bottle of water and start getting those stains off of my gown." 

As I walked out of the room, she carried my train blotting and wiping as we were walking.   No matter what, I was getting down that aisle whether my dress was ripped, stained or falling off of me!  I wish the videographer had filmed this...he shot me standing up and noticing it and calling her over, but then shut off the camera until right before I took my dad's arm. 

Disclaimer: This video was created using raw footage courtesy of Video Keepsakes of Beverly Hills.

It was created by me strictly for recap purposes and therefore will not necessarily be great quality.

There will be things you probably shouldn't hear and shaky footage in certain places.

Thank you for your understanding.

If you had trouble viewing the video, try clicking here for a direct link
Looking back, I can't believe how calm I stayed.  Apparently, the streaks/stains must have still been visible because in the raw video footage at the very end of the ceremony as me and Mr Fix It were walking across the bridge I heard him telling me that my sister didn't handle my gown right because the back of my dress was totally dirty.  It wasn't her fault, she didn't even know about it.  And you can't see it in any pictures or video...so it must have been an up close and personal thing.  Oh well...such is life at a wedding...and all that mattered was I was dying to see my groom on that altar!

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  Do the best you can to rehearse the elements of the ceremony...try to time songs out, practice handing off the bride/flowers/rings, confirm who will need to rise and when.  But realize, that no matter how much you rehearse, just as BiCoastal Bride and I learned, something may go wrong in those moments just before your walk that you will have no control over.  Just roll with it...chances are, no one else will ever know, notice or care!

Unless otherwise indicated, all photos by Robert Mullins Photography

Wed recap: My biggest fear almost realized!

Ok, so to officially get the wedding recaps underway (I'll still have some honeymoon recaps mixed in sometimes, too), I wanted to start with what happened on the morning of the wedding...or rather, I should start with the night before the wedding at bedtime:

I had wanted to get to bed at a decent hour.  We had to be at the venue by 7:45 am and it was going to be a long day!  I didn't end up getting into bed until like 10 pm or so.  And then I laid there for a while before I finally fell asleep.  My bestie, BM L from Idaho had flown in that day and was sharing the room with me.  I tried not to keep her awake.  I wasn't going to chance taking even half of an Ambien because my reaction the night before left me feeling a little nauseous and icky in the morning and I definitely didn't want that on the wedding day.  Well, no such luck!

I finally fell asleep and then woke up hours later.  When I glanced at the clock, it was only 3:30 am!!! What the heck?!?  Seriously?  Didn't the sleeping gods know that I *needed* to get a good night's rest on this of all nights?!?  Wasn't meant to be.  I laid there for the next several hours and never did fall back asleep.

We finally got out of bed about 5:30 am I think.  I was doing okay and even blogged a little sneak peek of my hanging wedding gown.  After showering, we packed everything into the cars and were getting ready to leave.  And I just was not feeling good...not at all!  (As a reminder, you can read all about why this was freaking me out so badly here when I originally shared my fainting spell tendencies.)

I sat down on the couch and my mom, bestie L and Little Miss (daughter) came over to me and asked how I was doing.  I told them I felt like I was going to pass out or puke.  I wasn't sure which one but I was not good.  I had put my feet up on the table to try to keep blood flowing well so I wouldn't pass out.  I grabbed a gatorade and they asked me if I needed anything else.  I told them I was so mad that I did *NOT* want to feel like this on my wedding day.  BM L tried to calm me down by rubbing my back.  What a sweetie...oh, here she is with me by the way:

So anyway...nothing was working.  I stuck my head between my knees and began praying "Lord, please just let me feel good on this day...please!"

We got into the car and made a quick stop at Starbucks where we got me a muffin and some oatmeal to try to help ease my anxiety and tummy or whatever the hell it was that was ailing me.  Just to be safe, we brought a blow up air mattress and blanket for me to lay on at the venue if I needed it.  We stopped to pick up my BM cousin E on the way and then before I knew it, we were there.

As soon as we arrived, I was in heaven!  I was so excited to be at my venue on the wedding day.  It was a little cloudy but the sun was peeking in and out.  My hair and makeup artist was there and already mostly set up ready to begin so we threw BM E into the chair and had her start straight away.

While that was going on, we unpacked the car...we had brought with us:

*  The steamer that my seamstress let us borrow to steam the dresses as needed.  (Which I blogged about while we steamed dresses)

*  An ice cooler full of drinks (water, gatorade) and snacks, veggies, fruits and sandwiches and such to keep us all (but mostly me) eating throughout the morning and for lunch.

*  My gifts for the BM's (they already received everything but the parasols by this point)

*  My special surprise sign for Mr Fix It that his nephew, one of our Ring Bearers would carry down the aisle

*  All the extras you need on your big day:  The marriage license, rings, makeup, garter, shoes, jewelry, undies/bras, my Victoria's Secret gel inserts to give me some extra cleavage and extra copies of the ceremony script, Grand Entrance script, etc.

*  And of course, all the dresses which we hung as such:

(Notice the cute little black satin padded hangers with the little bows I gifted the girls for their dresses?  You can't see it in this pic but there is a little silver charm with each girl's initial tied onto the bow.  And that white one on the left is my reception dress.)

I had BM L jump in a car with me and drive up to the main entrance where we placed my 'This Way to the Wedding' sign out by the main gate.  Blogged about that, too and glad I did because my photographer did not get a shot of the sign set up. :)  The sun was out a little and pretty at this time.

Then my videographer arrived...yeah, at like 8:15 am when I had not planned on him arriving until noon!  I was so shocked and excited to see him and his wife there.  I told him where to park and he said he was going to start setting up and walking the property to familiarize himself with it. 

BM L and I headed back to the bridal cottage (prep area) where it was almost time for her to get her hair and makeup done.  While that was going on, BM cousin E helped me steam some of the girls' dresses.  All this prep stuff was a good thing...because it was keeping me busy and keeping me from thinking about being anxious or feeling dizzy.  As long as I was moving and had people around me keeping me talking and doing things, I was feeling good for sure!  And that's how the day went...but it didn't last the whole day.  Because unfortunately there were 'down' moments where everyone was running around me but I was left sitting in a chair by my lonesome.  Those moments allowed me to sit alone with my thoughts and start to get anxious and wonder if I'd pass out or not.  And so throughout the day, you'd hear me saying "Someone talk to me or give me something to do.  I'm gonna pass out if you don't keep me busy!"  Seriously...I was over it.

Here you see me sitting in a chair waiting for the guests to be seated so that the ceremony can start...these are some super fun shots of how crappy I looked when I was not feeling good (I have to thank BM cousin A for snapping them):

(Yeah, you can't really put your head between your knees with a wedding gown on!)

Aren't those just so great?  NOT!

More to come on this fun topic...but for now...

Today's tip:  Do what you can to get a good night sleep the night before, but if you want to try sleeping pills, test them first days or weeks before the big day to see how you react to them. 

A wedding recap - spots on my dress!

Ok, so I told you there would be no order to my recaps.  I know I started off with a couple honeymoon recaps but if I did that for two weeks straight, I might lose you.  So I thought I would share a few pics and a story about something every girl dreads on her wedding day - spots and stains on your gown.

Plus, I've also decided that at the end of each of my wedding recaps I will leave you with a small tip, words of wisdom, experienced advice or suggestion from the lessons I learned that will hopefully help you in your future planning process and on your big day.

Now mind you, I got married at an outdoor venue with a zoo.  So if you plan to do ANY pictures or wedding related events outside in your dress, just simply plan on the fact that you will in fact get some type of dirt or stain on your gown.  No way around it.  In fact, even if you don't step outside at all in your dress, unless you are wearing something that is above your ankles, people will step on it, food will get near it, and just a dirty floor in general are bound to stain that beauty.

Looking back, I was a horrible blogger bride.  I did not get photos of lots of little things (like the spots on my gown) that I knew I would blog about.  So forgive me for my lack of images in a lot of these recaps.

Anyhow, here is a pic of me in the pretty little Maggie Sottero SaBelle gown that I donned on April 16th (remember I have no pro pics yet):

And here's one showing that lovely train in all it's beaded, embellished, laced glory:

Here's a pic of my mom and niece checking out the zoo at the venue the day before during the rehearsal:

And here's one of my mom and my nephew (one of the ring bearers) and his other grandma sitting on the bench at the venue during the rehearsal:

Why am I showing you these random pics of the zoo and the bench?  Well, notice the things on the ground in those pics?  Dirt...and grass.  And even on the concrete areas of the venue there were leaves and dirt.  Now mind you, this venue, they keep it in tip top shape.  The night before your wedding from 3 am to 7 am, they have a cleaning company come in and sweep and hose everything down.  So it's not like it was filthy.  This is just what happens when you are, well, outside, DUH!

Now try to walk around and maneuver something like this throughout these type of grounds:

Needless to say, I got some great stains on my gown.  As I mentioned, if you plan on walking anywhere outside (and especially if you have a train), you will most definitely get your dress dirty.  Underneath my train was covered in dirt.  The top was not that bad, but it was not spot clean either.  At one point, my photog had me sitting on one of the little ledges in front of some shrubs and trees to get photos with my girls.  Later, while we were standing around, I noticed that there was a huge yellow stain of pollen from the flowers on the back side of my gown right on my waist.  Totally noticeable. 

I called over my coordinator and some BM's and asked them to get the bar of white ivory soap and the washcloth I had brought in the bridal cottage to do some spot cleaning.  My seamstress suggested using a bar of pure soap and washcloth to dab at stains rather than a stain remover type pad.

Well, the wash cloth and soap did little to assist in the removal of the stain.  Of course, my lovely coordinator Amanda had SHOUT stain remover pads in her waist belt.  So after realizing my seamstress' idea was not working, I gave her the go ahead to use the SHOUT.  And thankfully, the little yellow spot came almost completely out. 

Everyone around me was freaking out about the stain and the girls were shocked at how relaxed I was about the whole thing.  I am a type-A total control freak, perfectionist, stress-case weirdo about a lot of planned things in my life.  But I had resolved myself to the fact that nothing was going to upset me on our wedding day.  And I stuck to just that.  (Now granted, a few things have upset me about the wedding day after the fact, but you'll have to wait for future posts to read about those.)  So if they hadn't gotten the yellow stain out, I wouldn't have cared...after all, it was on the back side and if it showed up any pics, they could have photoshopped it out.

However, after we were completely done with all of the photos, once the guests started arriving just before the ceremony, I had my sister and BM Cousin A go out on the back patio with me and they inspected my entire gown and dabbed away with the soap and cloth to try to get some of the dirt stains out.  It wasn't horrible and they did a good job.

But believe me, this was not the last of my unfortunate encounters with stains on my dress...the best was yet to come...and at the worst possible moment!!!  (Stay tuned in a future recap)

Today's tip:  Be sure to understand what will happen in getting your dress dirty on wedding day.  Don't think it won't happen no matter how careful you are.  Be prepared!  Bring with you in your emergency kit:  water, pure bar of soap, a *white* wash cloth, stain removing pads, club soda, paper towels, Tide Eraser pen, etc. 

And the BEST thing that my coordinator had on her:  WHITE CHALK!  That little yellow stain of pollen, Amanda said that white chalk can be gently rubbed over most wedding gown stains to help 'hide' them on your big day.  I don't know if she had to use it or not because I think we got most of it out, but it was there in her hand at our disposal.

Remember how I mentioned coping with OCD in our wedding video?

Well, there was a perfect example of why me and Mr Fix It have to learn to 'cope' with it on the day before the rehearsal!

We both have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).  We both are pretty anal about things and both like to be in control and have things the way we want.  Now we've learned how to relate to one another with these things so we have a great relationship, but for the rest of the world...oh watch out!

The day before the rehearsal (while I was at work), Mr Fix It was supposed to take his dad down to the Men's Wearhouse and pick up their tuxedos along with some other tuxes for his family who was arriving late Wednesday night.  I told them I wanted them to be tried on either in the store if possible, or first thing Thursday morning so that if there were any problems with things missing or not fitting, then they could be handled before the rehearsal at 3 pm on Thursday.

Well, at 11 am on Wednesday I get a call from him asking if he can just go pick all the tuxedos up on Thursday afternoon on his way to the rehearsal?

Now you know me by now, ladies.  I make plans, I e-mail the people involved, I communicate information, and I stay on top of the tasks so that if anything goes wrong, I have time to resolve the issue.  So I proceeded to explain to Mr Fix It how a last minute tux pick up just an hour before our rehearsal was going to be a bad idea!  What if something does fit?  What if something is missing?  Then you are late to the rehearsal and leave the shop no real time to order in a new item or sew or tailor something.

He was not happy with me and after a little bit of a spat, he finally said that since I was such a 'worry wart' he'd just go and handle it right then.

Well, a few hours later, I get a call from my sister who is in the shop at the same time as Mr Fix It picking up my little nephew's ring bearer tux.  My nephew's pants are way too big so they have to get a new pair in for him.  Then I ask her how Mr Fix It's tux is going?  To which she tells me that he says "Because of my OCD, I am having the sleeves shortened so you can see more of the white of the shirt underneath." 

I told her to make sure he knew that was exactly why I wanted it handled that day.  And of course she relays the message and I hear him say in the background "I know, that's why I went ahead and came down."

See, us OCD people know that it is always smart to give yourself extra time to deal with the imperfections you will mostly certainly come across.  So glad that they were able to get those things handled.  I would have been livid if he would have been late to the rehearsal while he was having the sleeves tailored!!!

Why do I feel numb?

Ok, so there's just 5 days to go now until I will offiicially be Mrs. Beever!  It's pretty incredible.

This week, I will:

Get my final body waxing on Monday
Get a facial and massage on Tuesday (after I pick up my wedding gown from my seamstress!)
Get the guys' tuxedos and deliver them as needed on Wednesday
Get my nails done on Thursday morning and then head to the rehearsal at 3 pm.
Get married on FRIDAY!

People have been asking me the past week or two if I am excited or nervous or anxious or both.  Honestly, I look at them and say "I feel numb."

I really am not excited...not because I'm sad or disappointed or anything, but just because I've been too freaking busy with finishing up the wedding stuff and working full time to have time to feel anything.  I guess that is good because it means I don't have time to feel nervous or anxious either.

Work has been SUPER DUPER busy!  I mean, like crazy busy.  Like I've worked for this man for 8 years and I've never in that entire time been as busy as I am right now.  It's again, probably a good thing.  Thank the Lord I had finished so many things so many months before the wedding because if I had not been prepared and thought that work would be smooth sailing as it has always been, I would have been a stressed out wreck!

So here I am, the Sunday before my wedding week.  Family will be arriving on Wednesday, I should be able to enjoy myself and not have to think one thing about wedding related to-do's. 

Now all I have to do is pray that I get all my work done before my last work day on Wednesday!  Pray for me!

P.S.  Today is my little niece's first birthday party in San Clemente at a local park.  She turns 1 year old just two days before our wedding!  So exciting!

Do you need a marriage license BEFORE the wedding?

So the big fiasco this past week?  Getting our marriage license!

Em over at Burning River Bride recently posted about getting her marriage license.  I planned on having the same kind of post with a pic of us outside of the courthouse with the license in hand.  I had been wanting to get it for weeks, but Mr Fix It kept putting it off. 

So on Friday April 2nd, I told him, "We have just two weeks before the wedding!  It's time to get the license."

Well, of course on Friday afternoon, he calls me and asks "Babe, can we please get it another day?  I am just so not in the mood today."  Why do you have to be in the mood?  Really?

So I am not happy at all but tell him fine and tell him that since I work full time every day except Friday that he is going to have to meet me down there after work on Tuesday before they close at 5 pm to pick up our license.  He agrees.

Tuesday comes around, I get to the courthouse and call to see where he is.  He's in traffic on the freeway.  I walk up to the courthouse door and they are closed!  GASP!  What?  It's only 4:20 pm!  Don't most government buildings close at 5:00 pm?!?  WTF?!?

So I tell Mr Fix It who then proceeds to scream and cuss at me about all the time he has wasted and how he has 'so much to do.'  Then he yells "With everything you've been obsessed with about this wedding, you didn't think to call and check what the hours were before I drive all the way down here?"

Well, I tried to ask Jesus to keep me patient and calm but it didn't work well.  Because I began yelling at him about how it's all his fault because he kept putting me off and I wanted to do this on Friday when he blew me off!

We hung up and 5 minutes later he calls me back apologizing profusely and asking me to please forgive him, he's just totally stressed.  I told him I was sorry that I didn't call to check first (I thought about it and always do that but for whatever reason just sat with the assumption).  He told me there was no way he was going to let me apologize for anything with all the work I've been doing and he was totally wrong to scream at me like that.

No biggie, we're both over it and we just went to dinner and he helped me finish assembling the escort card favor boxes.  So we're going to go today instead.

Funny thing is - in the course of him yelling, he asks me why we even need to get the marriage license now anyway?  I told him I guess we won't be legally married on the 16th and he responds with "You can just fill it out and sign it later and date it with our wedding date.  It doesn't get mailed in until after anyway."

Now, I don't know much about it, but for some reason I am thinking you need to PICK UP the license BEFORE your actual wedding date!  Am I wrong?

No longer quite the wedding tv addict

Are you like me?  Do you like watching wedding related shows on tv?  Well, for the last two years, I've been pretty addicted to all things wedding on tv.  And thanks to channels like WEtv, TLC and the Style network, I have been able to keep my brain on inactive mode by filling my mind with mindless shows like Rich Bride, Poor Bride - Say Yes to the Dress - Whose Wedding is it Anyway? - My Fair Wedding - Platinum Weddings - Bridezillas, etc.

I got my daughter hooked on them, too.  But over the past couple of months, I find that I have begun to lighten up on my wedding tv intake.  The main reason is because I just simply do not have that much time to watch tv anymore :)  But another huge part of the reason is because at this stage in the engagement, with only 13 days to go until the wedding, there's really no reason to watch these shows for ideas or advice.  In addition, more than anything, they kind of stress me out.  They make me think of my own wedding and the things that may go wrong or the anxiety of all of the planning that has gone into the big day and all that jazz.

So for now, I am on a wedding show hiatus.  At least until well after the big day when I can enjoy them again and look back on how much better my wedding was than all of theirs :)

Besides, why in the world would I want to watch shows like this that just make me envious of what I know I can't afford and won't have at my own wedding?

What about you?  Do you watch any wedding shows on tv and what are your thoughts on them and why you watch?

Stupid tuxedo shop

Said tuxedo shop will remain nameless but let's just list the issues I have had with them since we originally reserved our tuxedos back in December:

1)  Have had to make several calls to confirm the cost of the tuxedo rentals because every time a new groomsmen/ring bearer/father went in to reserve and pay for their tux, they were given a different amount than the discounted price we were given for the rentals.
2)  They charged my sister for my nephew's tuxedo rental which was supposed to be free!  Then said they would fix the mistake and refund her when we pick the tux up.
3)  They didn't charge one of the GM the full amount of the tuxedo when he came in to get fitted even though the notes in the computer were made VERY clear so that every guy would pay in FULL when they got fitted so that we would not have to pay any open balances since we are picking up all the tuxedos for them!
4)  Their computer screwed up on one GM's tux info and only charged him $40 instead of $140 to which they told us to 'consider it a free gift and pay it in full immediately so we'd get the cheaper rate.'  Only we found out this week, the computer magically corrected it's problem and is now requesting the balance of $100 due (sigh)
5)  My dad went in to get fitted this week and was told that the pants we reserved do not 'match' the jacket we reserved.  Um, hello?  Not true!  So I had to call the store *again* to have them look into it.  They indicated that wasn't true and the pants were fine.  However, they did note that the ring bearers did not have the same type of pleated pants reserved as the rest of the wedding party!  So they had to fix that mistake, too.

Every single time I call them to check on the status of something or ask to make sure everything is correct, they find some other problem or something wrong.  WTH?!?

Seriously - I'm getting over this wedding planning and these stupid vendors real quick!

14 days to go - THANK GOD!!!

What happens when a cake maker and a construction worker try to communicate?

Before I begin, let me just say that it is APRIL!!!   Hellooooo wedding month!

So you can read all about our cake saga here.  We gave up on our hopes of getting our dream cake:

And instead decided we'd still keep it 'different' by having an 'offset layered' cake something like this:

But with each layer decorated similar to this style:

Then when our baker told us that it was going to be an additional $1,000 to build that upside down cake we basically said 'No thanks' and decided to give the money to a family friend who has made all of our wedding, birthday and shower cakes for many, many years now.  She's not a pro - she works out of her house, but she would listen to exactly what we want and only charge us $1.00 per slice for 200 people, so how could we beat that?

So we met with her about the design and the flavors and she made us a sample of the red velvet with cream cheese frosting which was just yummylicious!  The only thing was that she didn't have a stand that would offset those round layers like the pic above.  Well, Mr Fix It to the rescue!  He offered to construct the stand for her.  They talked about the sizes they would need and the height of the dowels that would go through each cake layer to secure the cake on the stand.  They talked about how he was going to 'countersink' the dowels so that the stand would be more sturdy and all that jazz.  I didn't understand what they were saying but they seemed to get each other.

So we left and last Sunday Mr Fix It built the stand.  Sorry I didn't get any pics of it but it ended up being a bit of a fiasco.  Because...when a cake maker and a construction worker swap instructions and details, it's like the blind leading the blind.  It's like a deaf dog talking to a mute bird.  (Does that make sense?)

The point is...Mr Fix It wasn't thinking like a cake maker.  And he obviously doesn't ever watch Amazing Wedding Cakes or the Cake Boss because he constructed a stand that wasn't very helpful to a cake maker.

Basically, he used screws, color coded dowels, lines, numbers and all that jazz to build a 'puzzle tower.'  That's what I would refer to it as.  I tried to be patient and understanding and very appreciative but he was getting obviously irritated with me when I tried to explain to him how the cake stand wasn't going to work.

He built it in such a way that you put the one stand down and set the dowels into the little holes he drilled.  Then he expected our friendor to 'PUSH' the cake onto the dowels.  That's what you would need to do because he then built the bottom of the next layer to have holes in it that would go into the dowels below.  Then you actually SCREW the one stand onto the top of the other into the dowels.

So I tried to explain to him that bakers don't push cakes onto dowels.  They set the cake on the stand, decorate it, and then they push or hammer the dowels INTO the cake.  Then they set the next layer (stand) on top of those dowels.  Well, he wasn't getting it. 

Then I tried to explain that if the baker 'screwed' each layer into the one below it, how was the caterer supposed to get the layers apart in order to cut the cake.  To which my lovely intelligent Mr Fix It responded:  "They don't take the cake apart to cut it.  They cut around the layers and around the dowels." 

Really, honey?  Is that how they do it?  That doesn't waste half of the cake trying to cut 'around' the dowel rods?  Oh sweet baby, how naive you are!

After a bit of frustration and some stupid comments Mr Fix It made, I finally just told him I'd give it to her and see if she would be able to work with it.  So I drove straight to her house, showed her what he created, and asked her what she thought.  We both couldn't seem to figure our why Mr Fix It 'color coded' the dowels to fit in specific holes...they're all just basic dowels that are the same length so there's no reason for that really...other than the fact that he drilled holes in the top of some of them for the screws but that was obvious by looking at them. 

Oh, and I forgot to mention that Mr Fix It set the very top layer WAY too far off to the side which I specifically had told him NOT to do because it would make the cake unsturdy.  But he insisted that the screws would hold it all together and that he tested it with weights from his weight bench.  Whatever.  I was trying to get him to see that the screws were useless!

But in the end, me and our friendor talked through some options and realized that there was a way she could actually make it work - and even using the screws!  Which meant that the stand should in fact be pretty sturdy (hopefully).  And the caterer will be able to slide each layer off to cut it and then when he takes the stand out of each layer, the screwed in dowels will be pulled out of the layer below.  Does all this make sense?  Because it was a nightmare trying to figure out.  But it looks like it will hopefully work.

We'll see in just 15 days whether or not the cake falls over!  I am honestly over the cake and I only care if it tastes good!  :)  Cuz as my dad used to say: "Who cares what it looks like?  It all ends up in the same place anyway!"

Do you need us there, too?

Ya know, I'm only getting married once in my life.  And I've waited 37 years for the right man to wed.  So it is kind of a big deal that I have my closest family and friends there along for the ride.

When I asked my sweet cousin, E (cousin by marriage, to my cousin, M) to be one of my bridesmaids, she cried.  It was awesome!  Not that I want to make people cry but that I had that kind of relationship that she was touched and honored to join me while taking my vows.  And of course, when it came time for the rehearsal (just 17 days from now!), I invited her along with her husband (my cousin, M) and their two children - the little girl who is my flower girl.

So when we were hanging out yesterday at my grandmother's house with the entire family, I was a little caught off guard when my Aunt S (M's mom) asked me if the rehearsal was only for the bridesmaids.  What does that mean?  At first, I thought she was asking if she and my uncle were invited to the dinner.  But then she said "You only need the girls to rehearse, right?  Like you don't need M and C (my little cousin) for the rehearsal, right?"  So I said, "No, only the girls *need* to be there. Why?" 

Aunt S:  "Well, because we are trying to do something with E & A (my other two cousins who are flying in from TN for the wedding) while they're in town and that is the only night that we have open.  So we want M & C to come with us while E & T (Bridesmaid and Flower girl) are rehearsaing."

What was I supposed to say?  I told her that was fine but really I was disappointed because I really wanted my cousins there with us at the dinner after the rehearsal.  Plus on top of that, we have booked the restaurant for 45 people and now it looks like only 37 are coming to the dinner.  So I have to call and make sure that is going to be okay.  So with those two not coming, that drops off another 2 people to meet our minimum at the restaurant.

Why do people always want to change things last minute?  Why don't people realize that to make your wedding run smoothly and not stress you out, all you want is for them to stick to the plan and not throw any loops your way or not make things more difficult?

There was more that unfolded this week (totally unrelated) to add to the wedding weekend timeline - stuff I would normally be on board with but really don't want to try to 'squeeze' in right in the middle of all else that is going on.  But I will not share that story now for sake of protecting the innocent.

Did you have any guests, family or friends throw unexpected changes into your guest lists or wedding related events?

Can't you just do one thing for the wedding?!?

Well, here we are...just 23 days away from our wedding day.  Holy smokes!

I have been busy for sure and am so bummed I have not been able to comment on many of my fellow blogs I follow.  I have noticed that comments here on my own blog have been dwindling due to my lack of visiting other blogs :(  Please bare with me...it has just been crazy busy.

The good news is, that my house is almost completely packed up.  We are moving the furniture on Saturday.  I've applied for our marriage license online so we will pick that up in a week or so.  My programs are being shipped to me right now so I can assemble them (post coming tomorrow).  I finally got the pictures from my bridal shower (post coming next Tuesday).  I will be putting together escort cards in the next week or two.  I got me and Mr Fix It's Australian visas.  I am in the midst of final planning meetings and picking out our menu tonight.  Things are definitely getting done.

Overall, I've been feeling good.  Not anxious, not stressed, not feeling dizzy or sick.  But now things are getting all drama again.  My mom is seriously losing it.  She lets every little thing get to her.  Understandable since she is working like crazy and also in the middle of a move (she's moving back into the condo I am about to move out of).  And of course her mother (my grandma) is dying and continues to go down hill each week.  At this rate, we are fearful that she may pass the week of our wedding.  Please pray that does not happen. 

And this past week, my daughter had a melt down over having to move 25 minutes away.  It is a long story but basically, her dad lives about 10-15 minutes from us and he has her a few days out of each week.  So on the days she is with dad (2 during school week), he drives her to school which is near our current house.  Well, I told her that she won't have to switch schools once we move into Mr Fix It's place...we'll just make the 25 minute drive to school each morning on the 2 or 3 days she is with me.  Not a big deal really.  But she thinks it's the end of the world and she is going to be 'isolated' from her friends.  Granted, she will have her license in a year and I am sure will have a car to drive herself around.  But it all came out yesterday and she and I got in a big fight about it.  My fear is she is going to go running to her father wanting to move in with him and I will be devastated.  Not what I want to be dealing with 3 weeks before our wedding (and move).

So yesterday, when I told Mr Fix It that our venue is going to require us to rent a generator to play the video on the tv's I rented for our ceremony, he flipped out.  I asked him if someone out of the 15-20 people who will be staying at his house (and mostly in our wedding party) from his family could pick up the generator on their way to the venue on the day of the wedding.  He went off on how none of them has a car to do this or whatever.  I stayed calm for a while.  And then I snapped at him:

"I have been doing EVERYTHING for this wedding and I ask you and your family to handle one simple task of picking something up when they are on their way to the venue and you can't just handle it for me?!  I am paying for it, I reserved it, I can handle getting it returned the next day, and I got the DJ to agree to unload, load and set it all up for us." 

He finally calmed down and said he'd see if his brother could help out.  I kept reminding him how we have not asked our family or wedding party to do anything at all regarding this wedding other than pay for the clothes we picked out for them and show up in their dress or tux on the day of.  Is that so difficult to ask ONE person to pick something up for us?   ARGH!

Then, after he left, his sister in law happened to call me and I told her about his little blow up.  She lives about 5 minutes from me with Mr Fix It's brother (her husband).  She said that since her hubby and son (our Jr Groomsmen) were going to be getting ready for the wedding and the pictures, she had no problem driving 15 or 20 minutes to pick up the generator for us and bring it with her when she comes for the family pictures.  I was so grateful and glad that was easily handled.  Of course, *I* am the one who got it handled...not Mr Fix It.  Whatever.

At least it's done.  I have a feeling most of the posts leading up to the wedding are going to be more of my rants and full of emotion rather than full of all of the ideas, items, and plans I've been blogging about for the past several months :)  Bare with me!

ONE MONTH TO GO!!!!

Do you see this?  It's on the bottom of my blog today!

That's right, only ONE MONTH TO GO until our wedding!  Holy crap (I say that a lot nowadays)!

I am actually not stressed out right now - even with all the uncertainty in our lives with the health of my grandma and our pitbull and a lot of personal issues going on with my mom and sister and with our move and house renovations and with our finances.  I feel like maybe I can finally get excited.  I feel surprisingly calm - even though I have a to-do list that still feels a mile long only there's no longer a year or six months to handle it all :)

We are almost finished with the house renovations.  We move in all of our stuff a week from this Saturday!  But my daughter and I won't officially move in until after the wedding.  The house is definitely in order enough to where we can comfortably move in.  It is being cleaned and Mr Fix It is finishing up with the major renovations.  I keep telling him not to stress about painting the base boards and door frames and installing new carpet in the living room and hallway and our master bedroom.  Those things can wait until we get back from the honeymoon.  But he's pretty insistent about wanting to get it all done before the wedding.  We'll see how that goes. 

For now, it feels real.  Scary.  Exciting.  Overwhelming.  I have accomplished so much.  I have lots of 'paperwork' type things to handle with regards to the wedding (things like getting our marriage license, Australian visas, insurance coverage from our caterer, finalizing to-do lists with the coordinator) but all the planning is almost all done (need to finalize our song selections and grand entrance but we're very close).  The last of the DIY projects and favors are being assembled in the week or two to come.  My video will be done in about a week.  We'll be running out to pick up some gift certificates as gifts to our guys in the wedding in the next couple weeks.  It is almost time.  So surreal.

31 days to go...how long do you have to go and how do you feel at this point in your engagement?

38 days has left me in a daze...

I'm seriously losing it.  Two days ago (Monday) I walked into my office at 8 am after having spent the weekend cleaning and painting and moving and packing and unpacking furniture.  I have been getting minimal hours of sleep each night because I am either up late working on the house or because I am tossing and turning going over to-do lists in my mind. 

Well, as I walked into my office Monday morning, my boss had covered my desk with stacks of paperwork and assignments.  He walked in right behind me (very unusual as half the time he is not even in the office during the day while I am).  And he asked me how my weekend was.  I replied "Exhausting."  To which he indicated that I need to take it easy with the wedding planning to which I replied "I can't even think about dealing with wedding planning...this move and house renovations are killing me and there is too much going on personally with my family related issues as well."  He said "It can't be that bad."  To which I looked at him with tears rolling down my face and said "I'm just trying to hang on each day and make sure nothing slips through the cracks."

Well, yesterday, something slipped through the cracks.  I deposited a rent check from one of our tenants that had been post dated for March 10th.  I had completely forgotten that he had asked me not to deposit it until March 10th and the stupid bank took it a few days early without noticing the date on it.  The tenant e-mailed me pretty upset saying his payroll had bounced because he hadn't transferred funds not knowing the rent check had cleared a few days early.  UGH

I felt horrible.  I e-mailed back a stupid apology telling him about how I had inadvertently made the mistake and would give him a credit since I slipped up asking him to please forgive me.

But seriously, I don't know how I am going to get through these next 38 days.  There is still plenty to do with the house being my number one focus right now.  Mr Fix It said he knows I am going to be totally stressed and a physical mess leading up to the wedding but I put my foot down and told him yesterday morning that whatever is not done by March 31st will just have to wait until after we get back from our honeymoon on May 1st.  Because I am not going to spend the last two weeks leading up to our wedding stressing out and putting my body through the physical exhaustion and torment I have been dealing with these past few weeks.  Not gonna happen!

We'll see how that goes...I am just praying Mr Fix It stays motivated and is able to keep moving full speed on the renovations that he has been doing in the house.  We are so close now.  All that is left is the following:

*  Install new toilet, shower doors and fixtures in master bathroom
*  Pick out and purchase new granite countertop and sinks for master bathroom
*  Clean entire house and windows and have carpets cleaned (Having services do this next week)
*  Install new carpet in the living room, hall and master bedroom
*  Purchase and install new sink in kitchen
*  Have Mr Fix It go through the rest of his crap in the house and get it all thrown out, given to charity or reorganized so there's room for me and Little Miss to move in the last weekend this month.

For now, we are on a roll...but I hope we can keep it up.  Mr Fix It leaves for 4 days on his bachelor weekend to Las Vegas a week from tomorrow...we'll see how much we can get finished before then.  (sigh)

And the breakdowns begin...

So for 14 months now I have been saying that I refuse to be stressed while planning this wedding.  So much for my plans.  I have been so great about keeping on top of almost everything.  Though there is still much to do, we are moving along. 

All I can say is I am so glad we nixed the idea for a choreographed dance a month ago.  There is just no way I would be able to do it all. 

Monday and Tuesday were my emotional breakdowns and I am now literally a bride on the brink of tears at almost any given moment.  :(  I found out Monday night that my Grandmother (almost 95) is most likely really near the end of her life.  With just 43 days to go until the wedding the one thing I was truly praying for is that Grandma and our pitbull (who was recently diagnosed with a terminal heart condition) would survive until we return from our honeymoon.  My Grandma has been really excited about our wedding and now it looks like she can no longer make the two hour drive to get down here and attend.  I am okay with that as much as she will be missed.  But what I know will be just unbearable is if she passes away between now and our honeymoon.  I will just be a wreck at the moments I know her name will come up.  And most of my family has been making the trek out to her place in Hemet to visit her this week.  My cousin called me yesterday to say that she took the day off to go see her.  Hospice care has started coming to visit her home every day now instead of every other day and she has been on morphine for about a week I think.  So all the signs are that she will not last much longer.  I am heading out to see her today but the phone calls I've had to make to plan for the drive out there have left me bawling in tears at the thought that I 'have to go see my Grandma now.'  It just sounds like we are going to be lucky if she hangs on for even another week or so.  And then yesterday, I got a call that she fell out of bed and spent the entire night in the hospital and is now home with staples in her knee and a brace.  Anyway, prayers for my sanity at this uncertain time are definitely coveted.

But on top of that, I'm also dealing with the stress of trying to make time for the move and renovations of Mr Fix It's home...while we are making a lot of headway, we still have so much to do in just about 3 weeks time! 

And now, one of my bridesmaids is crying all the time about how she can't afford to pay for her dress and her hair and makeup which my stylist is insisting we stick to the contracted terms and pay for.  (My mom and cousin wanted to back out of their commitment to pay the $70 to have their hair and makeup done which they agreed to last June).  So I feel like I am stuck in the middle with understanding that we need to honor our contract but not wanting my mom and cousin to feel stressed about finances. 

This is supposed to be a happy time and all of a sudden I am feeling the stress and frustration that I have been able to mostly avoid for the past 14 months.  If I had to deal with this stuff, couldn't it have been much earlier and not 43 days before the wedding?!?

I understand 43 days seems like a long time, but it's really not when you throw in working full time and being a single mom to a teenage freshmen!  In March alone I already have 16 days filled with appointments of some kind - both personal, doctor and wedding related. 

And Tuesday I pretty much just cried all day long - because of my Grandma, because of the stress of all the wedding stuff left to do, because of the stress of moving into Mr Fix It's place and all the life change and emotions that it brings with it.  While I am excited, I am also mourning the loss of my 'freedom' by living on my own and mourning the loss of the city I have loved for almost 20 years now.  Even though I am moving only about 25 minutes away, the city I live in and the one Mr Fix It lives in are night and day!  It's going to be a serious adjustment for me to get used to. 

Seriously - I am getting over this real fast.  I called Mr Fix It and told him to get ready for the full waterfall at any moment.  I am sure it is coming at some point.  (sigh)

I will never be Mrs Fix It :(

Don't freak out...this doesn't mean the wedding is off.  Far worse, it is on more than ever and now only about 44 days away!

My original goal was to have everything wedding related except for the final seating charts done by March 31st.  Everything assembled, everything bought and packed up ready for wedding day delivery, everything planned and ready to go.  This included moving me and my daughter out of our two bedroom condo into Mr Fix It's 3 bedroom home about 25 minutes from where we currently live.  Since I know that I hate moving and since we also have been working on major house renovations on Mr Fix It's house for about 6 months now, I knew this was going to be a slow - over time process.  But now we're in the month of March!  Which means this is *THE* month I have to get everything done!  Good Lord, please pray for me!

Mr Fix It is finally moving full steam on the house...but he is doing it in the midst of working his long regular jobs during the day/week.  So he is exhausted and spent and sore and I need to start pitching in if we are going to have this house move in ready any time soon.  This past weekend he worked on grouting the shower and floor of our new master bathroom and I cleaned out his entire office (which is now going to be converted into our office / tv room / guest bedroom) and emptied every single kitchen cabinet to clean and paint them.  Mr Fix It's house is in major disarray and that drives me nuts!  But at least we're making progress.

His office being clean is huge because it means I can begin to move my office stuff over (books, gadgets, etc).  And yesterday I took almost my entire kitchen over to his house and gave all his old stuff to the Goodwill to make room for all my newer stuff (and the wedding gifts we've already received).  That's good news, right?  Well, it would have been except for the fact that he's crazy stubborn and has an opinion about everything!  Where most guys would have just walked out and let me 'do my thing,' he had to be there telling me why he wanted things left a certain way and why he didn't like where I put the baking pans and why he didn't want my mixer on the counter and why he thinks I have too much 'crap.'  UGH!  

But back to last weekend...I had to paint the kitchen cabinets myself.  And I am definitely *NOT* a fix it kinda gal.  Crafting, projects, DIY things....*SO* not me!  I not only don't enjoy it, but I'm not that great at it.  However, it was kind of cool to have him tell me that I did a great job on the painting.  We did get into a couple small tiffs over the weekend as we are both perfectionists and pretty stubborn.  But we also got a lot done and were very appreciative of each other, too.  I was pretty upset about all the paint in my hair and under my nails from having to climb into cabinets under the stove and such.  It took me a good long hot shower and a scouring pad (gentle of course) to get all the paint off of me!

So while I have a new found respect for all of the fix it stuff that Mr Fix It does, I am glad that I will not have to do much more of it once this month is over and we can comfortably move into his *CLEAN* place that has been entirely reorganized and renovated to make room for me and Little Miss (my daughter).

Living with a construction guy is not going to be easy!  There is always dirt, dust and tools everywhere!  UGH!  Thankfully, I don't have to be Mrs Fix It - I'll just be Mrs Beever :)

This whole process (right before the wedding) is really making me wish we would have moved in together well in advance of the wedding.  But I always remember that I want to honor God by keeping the first time we share a house together special as husband and wife. 

PS  I can't wait to hear what all his family thinks of his (our) home once they get in town for the wedding and see all of my stuff moved in and the renovations we've made!  :)

There's still a few more days to enter my giveaway for a free $25.00 gift certificate for wedding favors or other products.  Click here!

Getting overwhelmed...

I am getting overwhelmed...there's still much going on and all is generally good.  But oh my...the days fly by like seconds lately!

And I want SO badly to sit down and catch up on all my daily reads of my fellow bloggers and I have just been so super busy at work and so super busy with DIY projects at home...really more just assembling stuff....but still.  It's time consuming putting together 180 favor boxes with tissue, takeout boxes, ribbons tied in bows and favor tags.  And then putting together 25 circus boxes filled with goodies for our family children.  But I can't wait to show you all the pics our photographer will get at the wedding of all these fun details.

I have also finally found the perfect votive candle at a local candle store to fit in my luminary table numbers so that I don't get the stupid shadow of the rim of the votive holder.

This week, I'm working on assembling ribbon wands and writing thank you cards from the bridal shower Sunday.  I'll post about these later this week.

I am so glad I am getting stuff done, but feel like such a slacker still.  And feel like I am missing out on all that has been going on with all of you!  Please forgive me and know that I will eventually catch up and be back over there...for now, I am learning that I need to keep my posts short and simple (and hopefully filled with pics).  It's just too hard to sit down and write some of the lengthier posts lately.  Which is funny since I am so long winded usually!

So since I can't seem to get over to all of your blogs lately...do me a favor and leave me a comment on this post about what's been going on with you lately!  Share something fun or exciting or something you're glad you've recently accomplished...and share something that you're maybe bummed or sad about or that is stressing you out that you need to vent about.  At least I'll feel like I am somewhat in the loop when I can jump back over to your blogs!

And before I forget:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR FIX IT!!! 

YOUR LAST ONE AS A SINGLE MAN!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

PS  As of yesterday, we've officially received half of our RSVP responses back!  Only 112 more to go!

Posting your to-do list on your blog

I remember a while back posting some kind of to-do list on my blog and I mentioned that it was not really for any of you but moreso as a journaling opportunity for me as I look back on this blog years from now. 

And I have seen many other brides do it, too.  I thought it was a good way to keep track of our progress for myself.  I also noticed other brides who post their task lists usually ask "Am I missing anything?"

Honestly, with 54 days to go until the wedding, it's becoming more stressful than helpful and so now I skim over those type of posts.  Mostly because there is no way in hell I am going to be able to think about whether or not someone else is forgetting something - do any of you honestly pull out your own to-do lists and perform a side by side comparison to fellow bloggers' lists to let them know what they're forgetting?

Besides, all I end up feeling is stress about my own to-do list and how there is still so much to do.  It makes me physically nauseous to read these posts now. 

So while I'm not knocking anyone who chooses to do this (since I am sure I'm in this category), I just wanted to vent about the stress and freak out mode that I enter when I click over to a fellow blogger bride's blog and see their updated to-do list...please forgive me if I don't comment or can't help you figure out what you're missing.  It'll probably just make me think of something *I* am missing and stress me out.

Can I just have a minute, please?!?

I talk often about my sister's wedding just over 3 years ago.  It was such a fun and special day.  We had a great wedding party that kept us laughing from the rehearsal all the way to the after party at a local bar. 

And our photographer...well, he just took the gorgeous wedding party and made them look even better!  :)

However, as my sister's MOH, it was also really chaotic acting as a day of coordinator for her.  I feel like I either missed out on a lot of the fun and special things or I was rushing through them to make sure the next thing was taken care of. 

She got married on Labor Day weekend in San Clemente, CA  and the traffic was horrendous!  The ceremony started an hour late because we were waiting for lots of guests to arrive.  On top of that, it was an extremely hot summer day and the wedding was outside on the lawn at a golf course/club. 

While my sister was tucked away in the wine room with the rest of the maids, I was out wandering around organizing the photog, videog, and DJ. 

I also had to get about 5 guys lined up in golf carts and instruct them as to how they were to drive the maids down to the ceremony one by one. 

I had my father and the florist waiting for my sister's arrival so that once they started their walk down the aisle, the florist could straighten out her train for her...it was a *LONG* walk along the grass.

It was finally time for the ceremony to start...everyone was seated.  The beach balls she had left for the guests to throw around while they waited for the ceremony had all been collected.

As I approved that the golf carts were lined up and everyone was in their place, I ran back to the wine room to grab the bride and her maids.  The photog and videog were already down by the ceremony site so it was just us 5 ladies in the wine room at this point.  And as I entered, I could feel myself running in my heels and dress.  So I sat in this chair next to my sister, took a deep breath and said "Can I just stop for a minute?" 

I looked around at the girls and we were all pretty anxious about what was about to take place.  So I just said, "Can we just pray together real quick?"  And we all sat in a circle, holding hands, loving on my sister and I just said this prayer.  I don't remember what I said but I know I thanked God for these amazingly beautiful and fun ladies who were such a special part of this journey and I know I prayed for my sister and her soon-to-be-husband to have a blessed day and a God-centered marriage.  And then I prayed that God would help us all just slow down and take in every moment...enjoying it, not rushing through and not taking it for granted.

When I finished, I looked up and the girls said "Thanks for making us cry right before we're about to walk down the aisle!"  We then all laughed and tried to blot away tears and check our makeup and then we were out the door and off to the ceremony!

I was kind of bummed later that our photographer wasn't there to capture the moment because I've seen some friends do this at their own weddings now since I always tell them to stop and take a moment just before the ceremony to pray and soak it all in and just *BE*.  But even though we didn't get any pretty shots like this:

It was kind of nice to just have it be an intimate quiet thing with just us girls. 

The best advice I can give to you ladies as you get ready for your big day is to not rush anything!  The photog is yelling at you that you need to cut the cake?  The DJ is telling you that you just must line up immediately for the grand entrance or the coordinator is screaming that the guests have been waiting for 30 minutes for the ceremony to start?  Who cares?  They can't do anything without you!  You're the bride. 

So take a moment to just be *IN* the moment.  If you feel so led, ask someone to pray for you and your hubby or whatever.  Or just stand together with your loved ones holding hands in silence and taking long, slow breaths.  Whatever it is, just relax...in that moment, right before you find yourself walking down that aisle and all the chaos begins, just stop and remember this moment....for you'll never get it back again :)

*  Praying photo courtesy of Melody Flannery.  Unless otherwise indicated, all photos taken by Eric Cotter of Jim Kennedy Photography