Friday, August 6, 2010

Reflections on Marriage: Comfort

I had only lived with one man before I met Mr Fix It and that was my daughter's father.  We were never married and it lasted less than 2 years.  I was 21 at the time which seems like ages ago now that I am close to 38.  Crazy! 

Anywho - Mr Fix It and I did in fact spend the night at each other's place sometimes during our six year relationship...but the last two years before we got married we didn't really stay over that often.  I think I was relishing in my final days as an independent woman who didn't need to answer to anyone in her own home.

So when we first moved in together on the first day after our wedding, it was something I was wondering would it all pan out?  Would we easily settle into married life *AND* living together without any real issues or arguments?  Or would it be a real adjustment phase that took some getting used to?

For the most part, we eased into it pretty well.  Though I have to admit, Mr Fix It's bed (a Queen size) is truly not big enough for the both of us.  He definitely moves around a lot when he sleeps and he made comments about how I really don't move much at all while sleeping.  Yeah, good thing...because it is a pain learning to share a bed with someone.  If we had a California King bed (something I have high on my list of priorities when we are ready to move into a new house in a few years hopefully), it would be no problem at all.

I am the type of sleeper that when I get up in the morning, if I slept in the bed alone, all I would need to do is pull the one top corner of the sheets and comforter up and throw a few pillows at the top and the bed is made.  Not so much with Mr Fix It.

Half the time I wake up in the morning, the sheets and comforter are totally ripped out from every corner of the bed and are in complete disarray.  I usually have to turn the comforter a few times to get it back in it's correct position to tuck it in. 

Alas, sharing a bed - at least while actually trying to sleep in it - is not something I have been excited about when it comes to merging as a married couple.

What about you ladies?  Any of you have similar problems or something else that has been difficult to adjust to while trying to live with a boy?


Hannah said...

We moved in together when we got engaged and it was a little harder than we figured it would be. We had both wanted to wait until marriage but we just couldn't afford to do it. Instead, we made sure that first move in together went smoothly - we both gave up ownership of the stuff we brought in and became co-owners of everything. It was a little hard to compromise over things that I had been doing for the past 20+ years but in the end we know the sacrifices we made that fateful moving day has really helped build a strong foundation!

I love it!

Chocolate Lover said...

I hear you about the bed! I move around more than Mr. Milk (but not to the extent that you describe Mr. Fix It) and we bought a king bed cause I think a queen is just not enough space for 2 people. For me the worst part is sharing a bathroom with a boy! So in the new apt, he can have the en-suite bathroom and I will happily take the main bathroom :)
p.s. the pics didn't show up for some reason

SG to SP said...

We started living together after we got engaged and have been now for a year and a half and we still have issues sharing the bed which is also a queen. Whenever we've been able to sleep in a king size bed (on vacation) it's been fine.

Kristian takes up most of the bed and tries to cuddle with me. I can't sleep if someone is touching me. He steals the covers and snores so on the few nights when we are apart I relish having the bed to myself.

Hopefully we can buy a king size at some point as well.

PartyPlannerGal said...

Haha, this is a great post! I think we are weird because we have no problems sharing a queen even though he is 6'5" tall . . . I don't think either of us move around too much, but we are both really light sleepers. If one of us wakes up, both of us are up!

EmilyB said...

Josh and I lived together for over a year before we got married and it really wasn't a huge adjustment. We had an awesome arrangement, though, because we each had our own bathrooms and I used our 2nd bedroom for my clothes and stuff. But then...we moved. And now we're in a 1 bed/1 bath, sharing everything. THAT has been the biggest adjustment. He has a beard and leaves his stupid little hairs all of the sink. Gross.

LauraLou said...

We didn't move in together until after we were married, but it's been pretty easy so far. David does the same thing at night and our sheets and comforter are always strewn all over the place in the morning. But I have to agree with Em - The most annoying thing is his little facial hairs in the sink after he shaves. Ugh. And the fact that he gets water EVERYWHERE when he washes his face. It's crazy.

kjpugs said...

I love hearing this because we were the opposite... sort of nothing changed when we got married since we already lived together and stuff!!!

And I FEEL YOU on the bed. We have a queen and it's NOT WORKIN for us and 3 pugs.

very married said...

i totally understand. Now we have a dog that can't be convinced to sleep anywhere else (and we like sleeping with her too...) so it's a constant battle. buuuut, i don't think i'd want it any other way!

melissa said...

I think our biggest obstacle was learning to adapt to our different schedules and ways of doing things. We made a lot of compromises as we learned how to live together as a couple.

ruthy ann said...

this is hilarious! I'm totally the one who is all over the place in bed! My hubby is a snuggler...i'm like a 5 minute snuggler and then i want my own learning to sleep touching someone was new to me...but now i love it!

Mrs T said...

Can totally relate to you. Mr B is a blanket hog. A king size bed would be heaven. Although in the winter time it's nice to cuddle up. Not so much in the Summer time - he is so hot at night.

wedding tickers