Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Wed Recap: Let them wear what they want!

This is an image of the dress I originally wanted my bridesmaids to wear (and in this color, too):

Isn't the back adorable?  It's a Dessy (After Six) dress (from their web site).

When I took my six bridesmaids with me to a shop to try it on, I was so excited to see them all fall in love with it.  Perfect for our spring April wedding and to match our turquoise/aqua color.  Unfortunately, they all HATED it!  I mean, not just, "Uh, we're not thrilled about it."  But rather, it is totally unflattering...the bust is horrible...I hate the color...please don't make us wear this, hated it!

I was so bummed.  But I wasn't going to let the attire issue come between me and my girlfriends and relatives.  Then they started going on about how they didn't like the blue colored dress and wanted to go with red instead (the other color of our wedding).  They said they would more likely wear red again and it would be flattering on all skin tones.  I was really bummed out about this because the blue was what I wanted to go with my color scheme!  The red was only the accent color.  So I asked them to show me some options of what they liked.  They came up with two choices:

Photo by Dessy

(This would be in the same color as above)

I was sort of okay with these so I told them they could each pick which of the 2 they liked to wear.  But one of my cousins wasn't there at the time so she went back with me and my daughter to try the 2 different dresses on and guess what?  She hated them both!  And then my daughter tells me that she also didn't like them (even though she was there when all the other girls picked them out).  

Ugh, even the sales lady was telling me they weren't good quality dresses and that pleating rarely looks good on all body types.  I was again so bummed out.  But my cousin and daughter picked out two more dresses that they said they both loved. 

These dresses I loved as well and the color (berry) was PERFECT to match the cranberry color of our wedding.  So I brought all the girls back to the store again and had them try them on.  They all agreed they did love the dress.  But since my daughter was younger and not developed, we realized it wasn't as flattering on her.  But the sales lady showed us a dress by the same designer in the same fabric and very similar style for my daughter.  She loved it and so did I.  So I opted to let her wear a different dress.  But then she said she wanted the dress in the blue color (known as Bahama Breeze).  I was actually excited because I had wanted *ALL* of the girls to wear the blue.  So I decided my daughter got to stand out in a different color. 

Then my cousin realized that her very large endowed chest was not going to fit into this dress.  Again, the sales lady rescued us showing us another dress by the same designer in the same fabric and very similar style that held my cousin's bossom in perfectly!  :)  And much more flattering on her as well.

So we ended up with a bridal party that looked like this: 

Photo by Robert Mullins

Photo By Yan Freedline

Photo By Yan Freedline

I later found out that one of my Bridesmaids actually wanted the dress in the blue color as well.  I had offered for all the girls to wear whatever color they wanted to when we placed the order but they all just went with red.  When I asked her why she didn't go for the blue, she said she didn't want to cause ruffles and be the only one different besides my daughter.  I told her I would have loved for her to be in the blue and I wish she would have spoken up!

And here is my little one in her dress from our post wedding shoot :)

Photo by Rachel Garcia

And how cool is this one of the tiger looking at her?

Photo by Rachel Garcia

I had great BM's...they weren't divas and didn't have to do too much but were important ladies in my life.  I thought they all looked beautiful on the wedding day - some even better than me! ;)  My stylist did great with their hair and makeup too though 2 of them did their own hair/makeup.  Can you guess which ones?

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  If you are one of those brides who wants to let your bridal party be a part of the attire decision making process, then be sure to talk to each of your bridesmaids AWAY from the rest of the bridal party and ask for their desires and feedback regarding their choices and preferences.  They may be intimidated by other girls to truly be honest about decisions you want their input on.  And don't we all want our friends and family feeling beautiful, confident and comfortable while they are celebrating our special day with us?


redwhitebride said...

I believe some kind of "negotiation" process is necessary to decide bridal party attire. I think you did great. I was just lucky all my girls loved the dress I picked. The shoes, not so much, but they were very brave to rock them too haha

Patience said...

I picked out the color and let my MOH pick out her dress. She is the one who had to wear it all day and I trust her taste. I have worn some nasty bridesmaid dresses in my time so I couldn't imagine putting someone through that. Loved your dresses and the color.

Mrs. Lopez said...

I have to say I really liked the first dress you picked out! I would have wanted my girls to wear that too LOL

PartyPlannerGal said...

Great tips! And as a busty girl myself, I can totally sympathize with your cousin - there are very few styles out there that don't look frumpy and/or obscene on us chesty ladies. Your bridal party looked great, and I love that your daughter stood out in aqua.

EmilyB said...

Omg Little Miss got her braces off!! She looks beautiful!! Oh she must be SO happy.

I let my girls wear whatever black dress they wanted, but I know that option isn't for everyone. My best friend is getting married next year and I gave her a great suggestion (which she ended up doing) on how to pick a BM dress. I told her to pick a number of dresses (she gave us 8 choices) and ask us to put them in order of how much we like them. For example, our favorite would be first, our least favorite would be last. Luckily there was one dress that had the majority of "most favorite" votes and when a few of the girls tried it on, she knew it was perfect! Fairly painless process (thank goodness!)

SG to SP said...

I like the dresses you ended up with the best and I do really like that color. Totally re-wearable.

I knew I wanted short black dresses which made it a bit easier. It came down between a halter style similar to yours and the ones we ended up with. I let the girls vote on their favorite and they went with the strapless which was my choice as well.

NuFlaiir - Planning a Destination Wedding said...

Great post and great tips.
I love the colors and the dresses. They all looked pretty. But I also liked the first dress :-).
I don't know what I am going to do with my bridesmaids yet.
I have bridesmaid who lives in NY, FL and Brazil :-). I'll probably just pick the color and let them pick the style themselves.


Bicoastal Bride said...

How funny that I wrote a similar post today about our dress choices! Luckily, all of my bridesmaids liked the dress I had my eye on. I would have been heartbroken to have to switch, especially after my sister tried it on and it looked fabulous. But if any of them had raised major objections, I would definitely have chosen something else, rather than let them feel totally uncomfortable.

Morgan said...

Wow, I love the Dessy blue dress, too bad it wasn't flattering on your bridesmaids. It was so nice of you to let them have a say, I know so many brides who have just forced an ugly dress on their ladies. And the dress everyone ended up wearing was just gorgeous too!

kjpugs said...

None of my girls tried on their dress! But they're all j.crew girls so it wasn't a problem.

Also YOUR DAUGHTER LOOKS SO PRETTY!!! I was like, why does she look so different... BRACES! Congrats to herrr!

Miss C said...

Little Miss looks so pretty and grown up without her braces! What a lovely smile!

Bridesmaid dresses are hard. I am struggling to find something that suits the style of the wedding and the bridesmaids who all have different body shapes!

Mrs T said...

I thought all your maids were in matching dresses - they look great.

Little Miss looks SO good without those pesky braces!

wedding tickers