Friday, June 4, 2010

Wed recap: My one bridezilla moment

Today is June 4th...it's a special day.  Know why?  Because today, both my mother *AND* my sister celebrate their birthday.  That's right, baby sis (MOH J) was born on my momma's 20th birthday :)  Kinda cool I think.  To celebrate, we are renting a little electric boat to ride around in Newport Beach harbor...we're bringing some pizzas and wine and sodas and hanging with my sister's hubby and my little niece and nephew, my mom, me, Mr Fix It and Little Miss.  Good times.

So today, on the birthday of my sweet MOH baby sis J, I want to share with you the one bridezilla moment I had on wedding day.  And I am so *NOT* proud of it!  I wish I could have a do over!

This is me and my baby sis MOH J:


Isn't she gorgeous?

She worked her little behind off that day...she showed up around 9 am I think and was helping my mom with unloading cars full of food, gowns, accessories, and so on.  She did things that the photographer and coordinators asked her to help with and followed me around all day carrying my train and straightening my gown.  It really started with her picking up this bad girl and getting her ready for entry when it came time for me to get dressed:


Then there was the following me around like a shadow as the train keeper:



And the train straightener...for both pre-ceremony photos:


And during the ceremony:


She looked adorable as she walked her son, Ring Bearer PJ down the aisle...look at the sun shining on her like she's an angel!


And made me laugh during the great toast she gave at our reception (more in a future recap):


But for some reason, it didn't seem like she was around me that much on the actual day of the wedding.  Looking at these pics, it's obvious she was doing her duties well.  And let me tell you, she really wanted to give a toast at the reception but she is deathly afraid of public speaking so this was a truly stressful thing she was thinking (and worrying) about all day.  She rocked it though...can't wait to share with you from the video!

The unfortunate thing was that we did all of our photos before the ceremony...right during her son and daughter's nap time.  And my little nephew really needs his naps.   So I was truly disappointed that he is not in ANY of our shots taken before the wedding...not in the one shot I got with me and the other 3 ring bearers and flower girl and not in the shots we took with our immediate family :( 

When he finally did show up on the day of the wedding, he was apparently still tired and hubby was having a hard time getting him into his tux.  So my sis had to run off to handle him...she wasn't real happy about that hoping Daddy could have handled it along with his mother (Grandma Kiki) because she was busy enough as the Matron of Honor. 

Then earlier when we were wandering the grounds for photos I had another maid come along to carry my bouquet and train because my sis was nowhere to be found.  Apparently the coordinators or someone asked her for some help.  I didn't know that at the time. 

Later, when it was time for our first look, I was standing by myself getting ready to walk.  And none of my maids were around me...I learned a little trick where I would pick my train up over my arm and then spin around in a big circle...as I was spinning, I would throw (release) the train of my gown and it would fly out around behind me and land perfectly unfolded and flat and laid out behind me.  Pretty neat, huh?  The videographer even asked me to do it again at one point to try to catch it on film.

But at some point during this little trick I happened to say the following:

"Yeah, I had to figure out how to handle all this myself since I have the worst Matron of Honor ever!  Here's a hint, don't ever ask someone with kids to be a bridesmaid!"

There were a few family members and vendors around when I said it...and my sis was there, too :(  She looked at me and I know she said something back to snap at me.  I felt really bad after the words came out of my mouth.  I tried to eat the words back up saying "Well, I just mean you have other things to tend to and worry about."  But it was too late...the bridezilla in me got out for that brief moment and it was a truly horrible thing to say.  I really didn't even mean it...I mean, she went above and beyond.  So I profusely apologized that day and on the day after the wedding and a few times after we got back from our honeymoon.

So that was it...the one thing that I did that I was not proud of.  Thankfully, my loving sister is full of mercy and forgiveness and doesn't let those things linger once we've made amends and moved on.  :) 

I didn't need to say it like that, but as much as I hate to admit it, my wedding tip for today does come from a bit of truth in my mean girl comment:

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  Truly consider the roles and responsibilities you expect of each of your maids when you ask them to be a member of your wedding party.  Every single one of my maids had children, jobs and other commitments that made it very difficult to get them together or to have them help with wedding related appointments, to-do's and tasks.  If the people you want to stand up with you and assist you in your planning process have children, very involved work schedules or other responsibilities or relationships that may prevent them from giving you every bit of time and attention you'd like, you may want to consider whether or not to ask them to be in the wedding.  Or if you do, then remember not to have high expectations. 

I have to say, I would have had no other woman next to me on that day and my sister went so far above and beyond through all of the planning process with helping me design stationery, assemble favors, go shopping, and attend to all of my needs on the wedding day.  I was very blessed with the amazing and thoughtful shower and bachelorette party she threw me and all the time she found outside of her wifely and motherly duties to make me feel very special...and for that, I want to wish my baby sis, J the most amazing birthday ever today!  (And of course a huge birthday shout out to Mom, too!)

Here's the only shot I have of me and Mom on our wedding day thanks to my wonderful cousin, Bridesmaid A!

9 comments:

Mrs. Lopez said...

Oh no that's horrible! I'm glad she forgave you and didn't take it too personally! Great sister!

PartyPlannerGal said...

This is a very honest post. I think something like this is bound to happen to all of us, and I'm sure your sister forgives you for your comment. Stress makes us say/do things we don't mean. And on the bright side, you learned a cool train trick :)

JEM - Aqua Bride said...

I agree that it's an honest post and anyone who goes through wedding planning and ultimately a wedding know how much stress is involved. I'm happy she forgave you and i'm pretty sure she chalked it off as a Stacey thing. I know my sis would say the same and we'd be back loving each other in no time.

Nicole-Lynn said...

Eeekkk! That's good you said you were sorry and noticed it. Almost all but one of my bridesmaids is married/has kids so it's going to be a challenge for me as well.

kjpugs said...

I'd say you handled yourself WAY too well (noticing and having her forgiveness) to be called a Bridezilla! I find most ppl who call ppl bridezillas haven't been married. It's a lot of stress and I can tell you had your fair share- but you've handled it wonderfully.

Mrs T said...

You poor thing - I hate when I say things I don't really mean. Especially when the other person hears them.

I think your words of wisdom are spot on though. We had a really long engagement - so by the time of the wedding two of the bridesmaids had very new babies (they weren't even pregnant at the start of planning) and one was pregnant. It does make things different.

Em said...

While what you said wasn't very nice, I think you made up for it by apologizing profusely. You handled it much better than a lot of other brides would have. And you know what, things like this happen. It doesn't make you a bridezilla, it makes you human. Surprisingly I held myself together all day and didn't snap at anyone (not that I can remember). There was a point where people kept asking me questions and I just did NOT want to answer another effing question. So I escaped to the venue coordinator's office and hid. Alone. It was awesome.

Morgan said...

Great tip! And while I'm sure it's easy to let the stress build up and say something you don't mean, I'm glad your sister understood and forgave you. Good for you for apologizing right away, you handled it way better than most brides would have! And I'm so glad you were able to get your hands on a picture of you and your mom!

Gaynor said...

Glad your sis was ok about it; its such a stressful day that im sure one little slip doesnt make you a bridezilla!

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