I asked 5 girls to be my bridesmaids and my sister to be my Matron of Honor. (I was the maid of honor for my sister and my best friend who is also one of my bridesmaids.) I surprised each girl by providing them a gift that included a puzzle of a photo of both of us with the phrase 'Be my Bridesmaid?' across it, along with a little silk bouquet of flowers in my color scheme so they'd know what color dress they'd be wearing and a handmade card with a poem in it telling them why I am asking them to stand with me at the altar.
I loved it, they loved it, two of them cried...it was personal and different. I blogged about it here.
Since I asked them, I have had all 6 of them come with me one day back in March to go dress shopping for both me and them. We did it on a day that my best friend would be in town so she could participate - she lives in Idaho, I'm in So Cal. We went to dinner after...it was fun.
I eventually picked dresses out for them to wear with their input and allowed them to select red dresses even though I desparately wanted them in turquoise/blue and I let them know that was my wish but I wanted them to be comfortable. They opted for red.
I let 2 of them pick different dresses than the one the other 4 will be wearing...my cousin who is a very large chested woman and my daughter who wanted a different color and needed a different style since she doesn't fully have a woman's body yet. I had no problem with letting them pick different dresses...they're by the same designer, color and fabric.
I tried to keep the dress and shoe cost to a minimum...The dresses were $152 including tax and the shoes were another $15 total. So far, they all will only need to have the straps adjusted on their dress. Two of them may need their dresses let out a little bit and one will need her dress hemmed a bit. So alterations will not be super expensive at all...for my sister, it's only $15 to have her straps adjusted.
I booked a stylist to do my hair and makeup and negotiated a great price for her to do the Bridesmaid's hair and makeup for only $70 each total. I let them know that it was their decision as to whether or not they wanted to use my stylist and pay or do their own hair and makeup. Two of them opted to do their own, four opted for using my stylist.
One bridesmaid offered to let us use her house for both my bridal shower and bachelorette party since she lives around the corner from me and has the biggest house. My sister is throwing the shower and has asked for the other girls' input but has done most stuff on her own. My mother and her are paying for the bulk of my shower I believe and trying to keep it pretty inexpensive.
Other than that, there's not much more they have to do for me other than show up to my shower, bachelorette party and the rehearsal and wedding. My one friend from Idaho obviously has to pay for airfare out here but she was more than willing to do so to be in my wedding and is coming alone without her husband or three kids to save money. It's not that expensive to fly here.
So do you think I'm asking too much of them? I hear horror stories of brides who want to 'fire' their friends or family for not helping out with much or for causing problems with their wedding plans and adding extra stress. I am so lucky to not have that problem. I LOVE my girls and though I don't get to see them much, they're excited about the big day and I know they'll make me feel special and loved and keep me laughing and try to ease my stress or anxiety.
Though due to my Type-A perfectionist personality, I am not asking them to help assemble invitations or anything like that. But closer to wedding day I will ask them if any can come over to help me stuff favor boxes and tie ribbons on them and such.
Even the guys (groomsmen) and our immediate family were in my initial wedding related thoughts as I had visions of them having to carry votive candles, wedding gifts, dresses, etc all over our venue and loading up cars and such. I imagined them trying to run around during the reception telling the Photographer that the DJ was about to announce the cake cutting and I instantly knew it was time to hire a Day of Wedding Coordinator! There is no way I wanted any family or friends doing errands or running tasks during the wedding.
So I think my girls have it pretty easy. But I know some brides can be demanding. I found it funny, however, when Rachel (Pink Love Bird) over at Get Married's Blogger Brides site posted about how she asked her girls to be her bridesmaids. She made them all binders and included a contract inside for them to read and sign. I wish she had gotten engaged before me because I totally would have included this in my little gift package for my girls had I seen it.
I, ____(Bridesmaid)_____, do solemnly swear:
______ My hair will remain at whatever length I want, but if it’s past my shoulders, it will be put in a beautiful up-do.
______ If I change my hair color, I will consider consulting Bride because she loves sassy hair.
______ My nails will be painted a delicate, light color of my choosing and will be at my preferred length (…with the exception of them being so long they curl over at the tips).
______ Bride will love me and appreciate me being in her bridal party regardless of my weight, but I will do my best to be in great shape and health. I want to look my best!
______ Assuming there is a shower or a bachelorette party, I will be as involved as I can be and party it up with Bride for as long as I can stand.
______ I will hold Bride to her promise that the bridesmaid dresses will be fabulous and won’t cost an arm and a leg. I will provide opinions on the style because I know Bride likes input and gets overwhelmed by options.
______ If I get pregnant, YAY! Bride loves babies and pregnant people. If I am not pregnant, the reception will provide a fully stocked bar in which to imbibe in front of said pregnant people.
______I will dance the night away at the reception and all other spontaneous dance parties. If Bride is not around for the sporadic dance parties, I will take a picture or a video to show her.
______ I will tell Bride when she is being crazy/unrealistic and why, specifically. I will not let Bride go off the deep-end.
______ I will freely give hugs and lend my support to Bride to help relieve stress since she is such a perfectionist. Bride loves friends’ hugs.
I do hereby swear that I will adhere to the entire above & other stated bridesmaid “duties” for the wedding on (date).
X________________________________ ___________________ (Signature) (Date)
What do you think ladies? Are you asking too much of your Bridesmaids or wedding party? Have you had some unfortunate issues or fights or frustrations with anyone regarding your wedding? Do share! Let it all out...
2 days ago