Monday, March 29, 2010

Do you need us there, too?

Ya know, I'm only getting married once in my life.  And I've waited 37 years for the right man to wed.  So it is kind of a big deal that I have my closest family and friends there along for the ride.

When I asked my sweet cousin, E (cousin by marriage, to my cousin, M) to be one of my bridesmaids, she cried.  It was awesome!  Not that I want to make people cry but that I had that kind of relationship that she was touched and honored to join me while taking my vows.  And of course, when it came time for the rehearsal (just 17 days from now!), I invited her along with her husband (my cousin, M) and their two children - the little girl who is my flower girl.

So when we were hanging out yesterday at my grandmother's house with the entire family, I was a little caught off guard when my Aunt S (M's mom) asked me if the rehearsal was only for the bridesmaids.  What does that mean?  At first, I thought she was asking if she and my uncle were invited to the dinner.  But then she said "You only need the girls to rehearse, right?  Like you don't need M and C (my little cousin) for the rehearsal, right?"  So I said, "No, only the girls *need* to be there. Why?" 

Aunt S:  "Well, because we are trying to do something with E & A (my other two cousins who are flying in from TN for the wedding) while they're in town and that is the only night that we have open.  So we want M & C to come with us while E & T (Bridesmaid and Flower girl) are rehearsaing."

What was I supposed to say?  I told her that was fine but really I was disappointed because I really wanted my cousins there with us at the dinner after the rehearsal.  Plus on top of that, we have booked the restaurant for 45 people and now it looks like only 37 are coming to the dinner.  So I have to call and make sure that is going to be okay.  So with those two not coming, that drops off another 2 people to meet our minimum at the restaurant.

Why do people always want to change things last minute?  Why don't people realize that to make your wedding run smoothly and not stress you out, all you want is for them to stick to the plan and not throw any loops your way or not make things more difficult?

There was more that unfolded this week (totally unrelated) to add to the wedding weekend timeline - stuff I would normally be on board with but really don't want to try to 'squeeze' in right in the middle of all else that is going on.  But I will not share that story now for sake of protecting the innocent.

Did you have any guests, family or friends throw unexpected changes into your guest lists or wedding related events?


Hannah said...

Haha. We decided to call it a "Groom's Dinner" and just invite every single out of town guest to the event. A rehearsal dinner causes way too much family drama... she gets to go, why can't IIIIIII!
Good luck with this lady, it'll be over soon, I promise!

Brittany said...

AHHHH... Only 17 days away! I'm so excited for you. Good luck with the rehearsal dinner. HOPEFULLY it's will run smooth.

JEM - Aqua Bride said...

There's always going to be something when dealing with other people. Even 4 months out, I already have to "think " of other people and "accommodate" other people's requests like i'm not the one who's getting married and should be "thought of" and "accommodated". Anyway hang in there and try not to allow stress to penetrate your bride's forcefield. Say it with me - hummmmmmmmmmmm. There, feel better?

Patience said...

My shower was yesterday and 7 people didn't show. One had a legitimate excuse, but the other six..that is just plain rude. We had to pay $18.00 a person for you not to show up when a simple phone call on Friday or even a text saying can't make it would have been fine. People are rude.

PartyPlannerGal said...

Oh no, I'm so sorry! For some reason, the Rehearsal Dinner usually comes with a fair amount of drama - I'm not sure why, but yours is not the first story like this I've heard. Hang in there, lady!

redwhitebride said...

i'm sorry for this. we're planning an informal dinner at home (no rehearsal) so i hope it will be less stressful.

buhdoop said...

I think you should tell everyone exactly what you want. If you want M, C, A&E there then you should let them know. If they still decide not to come then that is fine, but they should know what you want. That way it won't build up inside :)

Morgan said...

I have no idea why, but I've read so much about rehearsal drama lately. Just do what you want, and hopefully everyone else will follow suit! So excited for you, it's so close to your big day!

Gaynor said...

So rubbish you are having all this stress!

We have had the same thing with the day after the wedding - we are having an informal lunch for everyone staying at the hotel but already some people have made other plans etc etc!

Oh well, we will all still have a fab time!

Miss C said...

So soon!

In the end, you are going to have a great time. Enjoy getting to spend more time with the people who made the effort to come, and you'll get to celebrate with everyone else at the main event!

Mrs T said...

Oh that is annoying. If you need to vent the rest I am totally up for emailing! I am happy to listen if you need to get it out.

I think other people just don't get what a big deal a wedding is for the bride and groom. It is disappointing.

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